


Monsters

by BreadedSinner



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon-Typical Violence, Complete, Explicit Language, F/M, Mild Sexual Content, Original Character(s), Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-22
Packaged: 2017-11-16 19:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreadedSinner/pseuds/BreadedSinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the 2012 Mass Effect Big Bang, hosted by AlishaTorn. Illustrations by MaxwellDemon (maxxiedemon.tumblr.com)</p><p>A once stoic and ruthless Commander Shepard is looking to atone, so that he may end the war and begin again with a clear conscious. But a mission goes awry and his cybernetic scars resurface, revealing the anger he still lives with. As war envelops more of the galaxy, and more Reaper thralls come out from the shadows, the frustration becomes impossible to ignore, for Shepard and his crew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/Kit_Airheart/media/Misc/shepley%20cover_zps4muk5nsq.png.html)

Prologue

 

“Are you…seeing what I’m seeing?”

“I must be. But I still don’t believe it.”

The two human attendants stood in the ship’s hallway, eyes unblinking, jaws hanging. Despite their disbelief, the image before them remained: a krogan acting as a living jungle gym. He was a massive and mountainous figure—even by krogan standards—with two human children hanging from each arm, a small asari hugging his bulky metal coated leg, and a smaller turian mounted on his hump like a rider on a rocky chariot.

The attendants exchanged glances again and again, as if somehow checking and double checking might change what they saw. “Well… they kinda look like dinosaurs,” the first one said as he continued to study the display, “kids like dinosaurs.”

“I heard he saved a whole school bus of kids from those batarian things one of the colony worlds we did a sweep of,” said the second.

“What would a krogan be doing on a human colony? Shouldn’t he be on Palaven, helping the turians push back?”

“Look. He’s got a prosthetic leg. Maybe he can’t do much real fighting.”

“Still a wonder how he found out about Sanctuary.”

“Wait,” the first attendant paused, as if the string of words struck him as being odder than the idea of a jovial krogan. “Where did WE find out about Sanctuary?”

“Huh? I don’t… I don’t know. Around?”

As the attendants exchanged puzzled glances, the first attendant was knocked over against the violent shove of an alien woman, causing him to crash into the second. Before he could even fully process the pain, she was already halfway across the hall.

“This is ridiculous!” the alien woman, a turian, barked at the back of her commanding officer. He continued to march across the hall with steadfast composure, his hands clutched together behind him, just under the hump of his back. His refusal to turn caused her mandibles to flare. “I need to be transferred!”

“It is not up for debate, First Lieutenant,” the turian man replied. His cool words crawled under the small turian woman’s plates.

“Not up for…? I didn’t train half my life to babysit people on the ship to safety! Certainly not a bunch of huma— ”

“It is due to the efforts of a human, First Lieutenant, that Palaven has the support of the krogan. This is a multilateral mission, and one of goodwill.”

“And you don’t think I’d be doing more good out there, fighting what these refugees are fleeing from?” The turian woman’s captain continued to march, clearly finished with answering pointless questions, but the silence rattled her bones all the more. “Captain Corellan, my brothers and sisters are throwing themselves at the Reapers while I just—!”

“While you ensure the safety of the refugees,” the captain made a swift rotation and faced her. The intensity of his glare caused her to step back. It dwarfed her indignation and crushed her rebellion. “It is your duty to oversee the ship and all within and, should the worst come to pass, to pilot one of the shuttles and get as many of them as possible to Sanctuary. This is the assignment you have been given. You can do it, or you can disgrace us all.”

The lady turian shrunk in his shadow. Swallowing her reluctance, she saluted and uttered a tamed, “Yes, Captain Corellan. Sir.”

“As you were, First Lieutenant Caelus.”

The lieutenant kept her salute until the captain’s form melded in the crowd of refugees. Her mandibles fluttered as she released a sigh. She took a few shamed steps in the other direction before her pointed chest collided with another body like an oncoming car.

“Damn it!” she snapped instinctively. “Watch where you’re go—”

“Oh, sorry, sorry! I’m so sorry!” a squeaking little voice echoed through a filter. The turian pilot bounced back and saw a lanky quarian boy in front of her, hunched and recoiled, in a black and blue suit laced with pouches and pockets.

“It’s fine,” she grunted. “Are you… by yourself? I didn’t think there’d be any quarians here. You DO know where we’re headed, right?”

“Oh, yes, I know, I’m sorry,” the boy’s voice rang with an aching tone, shriveling at the sight of the angry turian. “I can’t get back to the flotilla and I can’t really fight. I hope I didn’t bother you, I promise I won’t do it again. Please, please don’t kick me off! I have nowhere to go! I don’t eat much! I don’t even take up a lot of space!”

“I’m not kicking you off!” the turian shouted before putting a lid of willpower over her temper. “It’s fine, okay? Just… mind yourself.”

“Yes, ma’am! Sorry ma’am!” the quarian watched the lieutenant’s talon-like feet stomp away until he let out a smooth, “Keelah, what a bitch. At least now I don’t have to feel sorry for her.” As he straightened his posture, he unfurled his three long fingers to reveal the small holographic card in his palm. His eyes glinted from the dark shell of his helmet, like white bulbs blinking in shadows. “Oooh, nice,” he said as his eyes followed the numbers on the card.

“What are you doing?” a voice popped from behind, so sudden it caused the quarian to shriek.

The suit-clad thief hopped and turned to see a human girl, with a round dusky face framed by a pink headdress and glaring at him. “What, me? I’m not doing anything, just… you know, quarian stuff… what are YOU doing?”

“I’m watching you steal!” snapped the girl as she lunged for the masked boy and gave him a shove. “And that is not ‘quarian stuff’. You’re perpetuating stereotypes about your own people!”

“Oh please,” he groaned, “like not stealing would change anything. Not that I was, because I wasn’t. Totally wasn’t.”

“Uh huh,” the girl huffed as she held up her hand, a card between her fingers, “so this totally isn’t your credit chit, right?”

“Hey! How did you… that’s mine!”

“Oh, so if I show it to that pilot lady, she won’t have any reason to be mad?”

“She’s mad either way, so…” the quarian shuddered under the pressure of the girl’s dark, judgmental stare. “Fine, fine! I’ll give the chit back.”

The girl in the headdress maintained a firm grimace as she folded her arms. She was not impressed. “You have more, don’t you?”

“You can’t prove anything! That’s profiling and that’s wrong!”

“Look, if you need money, I’ll give you some.”

The thief stood back, the scoff echoed through his helmet. “Maybe I don’t want your pity.”

“I want you to have it, okay? And maybe if you do, there won’t be a cry for missing possessions, to which I’d be compelled to point you out.”

“Fine, you win,” he admitted as he shuffled through the intricate array of pockets, “but I want you to know I’m letting you win.”

“Uh huh. What do you have there…” the girl held her hand out for the quarian to drop a small band of gold. Her brown eyes nearly popped from her skull when it touched her palm. “This is a wedding ring! How could you steal something like this?”

“What? What about it? It’s just a ring.”

“No, it’s not,” she sighed. “Lots of humans will exchange rings when they want to spend their lives together.”

“Humans express fidelity… with little metal thingies?”

“It’s tradition. Surely you can appreciate that. Aren’t you on your Pilgrimage?”

“Uh… no, not really.”

“Well… anyway… this REALLY needs to be returned. Anything else?”

“There is one other thing, but… aww, come on! Do I have to?”

“I can scream and this transaction will be over.”

“Okay, okay!” with a grunt, he liberated another item from one of the larger pockets sewn on his the leg of his suit. In the girl’s free hand he placed a figure of painted plastic; shaped like a turian, fine detail imprinted onto the mold of black and blue armor, marble eyes glinted beneath a black visor, but the helmet did not come off.

“It’s… a doll?”

“Action figure!” snapped the quarian thief. “It’s Archangel.”

“I see. And you were planning on pawning this for how many millions of credits?”

“I couldn’t just let that greasy kid thrash it around! Anything of Archangel’s likeness should be treated with respect and dignity!”

“Which I’m sure you know all about.”

“You know, it’s a big ship,” he said as he folded his arms, clinging to his pride, “with lots and lots of people. Might never be able to find the people these things belonged to.”

“Then we’d better get started,” she said as she yanked his skinny wrist and stormed through the crowds.

As she tugged the thief onward, hoping to catch up to the turian pilot, she overheard a shrill, “Ouch! Not so rough!” from behind her. “Easy with that thing!” the voice cried, fainter as she walked further away.

“If you just sat still for two seconds,” grumbled a white-clad batarian as he readjusted the tiny laser from his omni-tool to align it with the crease of a salarian’s opened wound.

“Aha!” the salarian cried. “That’s painful. Pain is bad!”

“Well, this opening HAS to be sealed now or the infection will spread.” The batarian squinted his four eyes, watching green fluids rush under thinning barriers of tissue. It was not the first injury he’d seen this week, which felt to him as one long day. It would not be the last, of that he was certain. As reattached skin fizzled, the faint stench of burning meat made his nostrils flare, and he sighed. “Just look away and think of something else. We’re almost done.”

The salarian’s black eyes darted in every dimension, as though trying to pop out of their sockets to get away from the sight of the slightest gore. His gaze bounced on the heads of people, so quickly their faces blurred. Even with all the differences, all the species, all the variations between those species, everyone started to blend together with so many crammed into the ship. Every corner and corridor had families, friends, and strangers packed to their brims. They must all have stories, too, all blending together, but it would not take away the sting.

As the salarian twitched under the searing tingle of tiny green tissues being stitched back together, he reeled his eyes back and found someone had taken a seat next to him: a tall, slender woman with teal scales encasing her skin and bone white ridges crowing her skull.

“Oh! A drell!” he exclaimed, as though on an expedition for rare specimens. “You’re the first one I’ve seen ever!” the drell did not so much as nudge her head in his direction. “Off to Sanctuary like the rest of these poor souls, eh? You must have a story.” The drell’s whitish upper lip twitched, holding back an annoyed scoff. “Oh, oh, I get it. Touchy subject. I’ll respect your privacy.” The nosy salarian looked away, tried to divert his attention elsewhere, but with the background blending into one sorrowful mesh, they rotated back. “I’m a Spectre!” he cried, as if to stir the entire ship with the news. But his cry was unnoticed by all, except a hanar that floated towards the drell woman.

“This one is increasingly uncomfortable,” the hanar uttered with a soft echo, absent of hostility. “It wishes for the salarian to be calmer.”

“I wish for that as well,” sneered the drell, “for his own sake.”

“Huh, I usually get a different response when I shout that,” the salarian said with a shrug, as though he had merely conducted an experiment gone wrong.

“Listen, you,” she snarled, “in case you haven’t noticed, we’re trying to flee a war with giant monsters, so why don’t you, just…!”

“Please,” interrupted the hanar, “this one feels neither of you have considered the gravity of this situation. All around you are torn families, people who have lost friends, loved ones, and entire worlds. The galaxy suffers. All must be respectful.”

“You are right, Nymer, as always,” the drell replied with a heavy sigh, and then turned to the salarian, “I am sorry for my outburst. I am simply frustrated I cannot do much for this war.”

“It’s no trouble, I—ah! Ohoho, that hurts! The hurting!”

“We’re done here,” inserted the batarian medic as he shoved the salarian off the bench. “Come on, who’s next?”

“I am,” the drell woman said with composure as she slid in front of him. “Do you think that salarian is really a Spectre?”

“Not a chance. Then again, most people don’t believe what I do for a living, either. What’s the problem?”

“I think I may have injured my arm.”

“Don’t know much about drell physiology,” he said as he waved his omni-tool over her body, “but I’ll do what I can… hmm…just looks like a sprain. A little medi-gel should do it.”

“But it hurts a lot…can’t you just use extramedi-gel?”

A deep chuckle came from the medic’s throat. “Heh, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. Besides, my supply’s running low as is.”

“Of course, it’s just… it hurts to raise a gun or use my biotics with this hand. Will I be able to soon?”

“It should feel better right away, but there might be a lingering pain for a day or so. I wouldn’t put much pressure on it.”

“Naja,” echoed the hanar, “there is no need of you to use firearms or biotics any longer. You are safe now.”

“I… just like to be prepared for anything.”

“This one wishes for you to be at peace. Be good, Naja.”

The drell tilted her head and opened her mouth to answer the hanar, when the medic waved his holographic armlet onto her wrist. “Hold on, this might sting.”

The resulting shriek whirled across the floor and seeped down to the lower level, so sharp its echo reached the quarian boy.

“Whoa,” he said to himself with a shudder. “That sounded bad.”

“Thank you so much!” said a hapless looking man as he opened his palm for the girl in the headdress to drop into. “My wife never would have forgiven me for losing this.”

“It’s no trouble,” the girl replied with a winsome smile, “happy to help.”

The quarian walked up to the girl once the transaction was complete, and the man and his ring were lost in the crowd. “You didn’t have to cover for me.”

“No, I didn’t. But I choose to believe you’re a decent person who doesn’t really want to take things from people.”

“Then I chose to believe that, too!” the quarian boy jested, which only made the girl sigh and shake her head in disapproval.

“We still need to find that kid you stole the dol—oh, excuse me—‘action figure’ from. What did he look like again?”

“It was a human child. About half your height, wore a lot of green. Kind of chubby. It was definitely on this floor.”

“That’s something at least… do you mind my asking why you had to have that thing?”

“Hmm… only if I get to ask you an equally invasive question.”

The girl pouted. “It’s about my hijab, isn’t it?”

The thief’s eyes darted around in his helmet. “…Maybe,” he squeaked.

“It’s… no, it’s fine. Aliens probably don’t see many people dressed like me. I have a cousin on the Citadel, she used to send vids and everyone there is so… urbanized. Like all their clothes come from the same store. Can’t tell where they came from or what they do. Who they are. It’s their choice, obviously, just not one I would make.”

“It’s just… you’re so pretty. I don’t see why you cover yourself. Human girls and asari I see always show more skin and hair and stuff.”

Blood rushed to the girl’s tan cheeks, but it quickly receded when it occurred to her she had no idea what an ever-veiled quarian would consider attractive. “You... think I need to show skin and hair to be pretty?”

“No, no! It’s just… I’m trapped in this suit. I don’t have a choice. You obviously do.”

“I do have a choice. But I am not trapped. If you could live without your suit tomorrow, wouldn’t it still be part of you? It helped shape you. I know it’s not exactly the same, but… this is me. My beliefs shaped me, and I like me. I think I am pretty with it. And you’re pretty with your suit, if it means anything.”

“Wow, I’ve been called a lot of things, but 'pretty'… I should make a list.” The quarian watched as the girl stop in her tracks and held her flushed cheeks.

She shook her head and giggled softly before continuing. “So, let me ask again, what’s with the Archangel figure?”

“Nothing, really,” he said as he cradled the little turian with his three fingered hands, eyes pouring on every detail. The golden bird-like insignia on the right arm was his favorite, and it was painted on without smear or smudge, “I admire him. Helping the helpless, fighting all odds, doing good for the sake of good. That whole thing.”

“It IS a bit more romantic than Blasto,” the girl said with a smirk, “I heard they were starting a vid series based on him, too, before… all this. But you realize stealing is very opposite of Archangel, don’t you?”

“Believe me, this is not what I thought I’d be doing when I left the flotilla. When I was a kid, there was a marine living on my ship. Kal’Reegar. One of the most decorated marines in the whole fleet. He was the most amazing guy I ever met, and I wanted to be just like him. But my parents wouldn’t have me throw myself at geth. Though apparently throwing myself into the unknown universe is just fine.”

The girl’s smile spoiled as he spoke. “Oh, I… I know that name from the news. I’m… so sorry. That must have felt horrible.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That quarian marine… he was killed a few days ago on Palaven.”

The thief’s shoulders slumped, reluctant to process the human girl’s words. “What? … Oh, that? Please. Next you’ll tell me you think Archangel’s really dead.”

“Actually…”

“Aww, come on! You’re going to believe everything they tell you in the news? Dare you question the infallible wisdom of an email?”

The girl gave an uncomfortable shrug and distanced herself from the quarian boy. “Wow, we… really need to find that kid. I told my dad I was looking for the bathroom over an hour ago. He’s probably worried himself to death…”

“Hey,” the thief said softly as he noticed the girl shuffling away from him, his hand outreached for her. “I’m sorry. Don’t go, I don’t even know your na…”

Before he could finish the sentence, he watched the girl fall, her face bashed against the floor. He swooped in and made a swing for her wrist, his three pronged hand a life preserver as the sea of blurred faces became a violent torrent of screaming and crying.

“Emergency! Emergency!” a synthesized voiced resounded with cold efficiency throughout the ship. “Hostile presence detected. Collision imminent. This is not a drill. Please find the nearest shuttle to evacuate in an orderly fashion. This is not a drill.”

“Go, go, go!” the turian pilot’s flanged voice boomed across the hall as she pushed every passing refugee with controlled force. Her shouts became clearer as the human girl and quarian boy squirmed through the mesh of panic.

“Hey!” the human girl cried, a hand outreached in the opposite direction. “Stop! I have to find my dad!”

“It’s too late!” replied the quarian boy as he continued to yank her through the flooded hallway like a ship tugging an anchor. “We can’t look for him now! We have to go!”

He swung and swerved with every muscle in his lithe body, the human wagging behind him. But people were everywhere, the heat from all their compressed bodies seeping into his helmet, making him choke. With coughs and wheezes, he ran through forests of flailing limbs and shuddering shoulders.

The human girl never stopped running, but she kept her arm out, hoping it would somehow act as a beacon for her family to find. The ship corridor stretched out further behind her as the quarian pulled her through the upwards stairway, both of them squeezing through jammed bodies. She retracted her arm in defeat as more bodies encircled her. She felt the quarian’s fingers rub against her wrist as they struggled to stay latched onto her, and she heard his grunting and panting as he wormed through waves of people. Her cheeks tingled with heat, vision blurred as veils of water ran over her eyes. The quarian’s arm reeled her off of the flight of stairs and onto the flight deck, an opened space underneath a transparent kinetic shell. It was the only thing separating them from the blackened creatures that encircled the ship. Scavengers floating in space, waiting for their prey to bleed out.

The boy and girl bumped against another wave of bodies until a burly blue tinted krogan swept them both up. “We’re getting out of here!” he declared with robust determination as he carried each of them under one arm. His metal foot clacked against the floor as he stomped to the end up the deck and up to one of the shuttle’s bridge, young refugees funneling around him.

“Wait, no! Dad! Daaaad!” the human girl shouted, arms and legs thrashing about in a feeble attempt to escape the krogan’s grip. He looked down on her and sighed.

“He’s on another shuttle,” he stated with as much care as he could muster, “but right now we gotta get out of that Reaper’s sight!”

“No…” the girl’s plea shriveled into a whimper as the shuttle door closed in front of her. She made one last quick scan of the fading crowds in the shrinking slit of open space. A faint but frantic _Aisha! Aisha, where are you?_ bounced in her head, but as the doors closed, she could not determine whether it came from the crowd or her own mind. When the shadows of closed metal doors fell upon her face, she let her head fall in defeat.

As the mass effect fields rumbled and threw the shuttle off its platform on the deck and into space, panicked screams lulled into helpless whimpers and sobs. The human girl and quarian boy pressed their hands against the window, watching dozens of other tiny ships pop from the massive starship, just as it was ripped through the middle by the hull of a slick ship-like creature. Metal tentacles carried it through space, and it passed through the breaches of the refugee carrier as if it were a cobweb. It fired a single crimson laser through the sheets of stars, catching two shuttles in its burning gaze. The human squinted her eyes and could just make out tiny bodies lost in the abyss, floating along the stars with chunks of the ship.

She was silent, the gasps and sobs stifled from her lungs. The quarian nudged his hand over hers and cradled it, and they both watched as the little scraps and bodies were absorbed into the darkness.


	2. Old Haunts

Old Haunts

 

Ashley angled her lips and blew the stray hairs that fell on her face; anything to distract her, if only for a short time. The second human Spectre could barely feel the platform move underneath her boots. She let out an annoyed huff; were elevators always this slow?

As much as she tried to direct her thoughts to other places, they kept returning to the unsettling conversations her commanding officer had been having with the crew, mostly involving her. It was uncomfortable enough working alongside an artificial intelligence. Especially one masquerading in the body of another AI, one that nearly crushed her skull and cooked her alive; her temples still throbbed when she thought of Mars. But moments ago, EDI had revealed to Ashley the likely reason for Commander Shepard’s reclusiveness was a series of heated arguments involving her own trustworthiness.

“I receive and maintain data logs of all activity within the Normandy,” Enhanced Defense Intelligence had stated plainly. It had been a few weeks since she rejoined the Normandy, so the AI was no longer so strange to Ashley, but she still had trouble looking upon the sleek silvery visage. If she looked for too long, she’d flash back to that face that watched her roast with cold indifference. “I delete them from my memory bank at given intervals. With Glyph’s assistance, I can project them for you. Lieutenant Commander Williams, your name and references to your person have come up an abnormal amount of times within a short period. It may be related to Shepard’s recent mood fluctuations.”

“So we have a walking security camera, too,” responded Ashley, her brown eyes following the illuminated globe as it bounced around her. “And you want me to see these logs?”

“It is information that can be used to settle this conflict and boost morale.”

“Fair point,” Ashley had agreed to observe all the recordings Glyph had stored, but what she saw twisted her stomach in knots. According to the AI, Joker had less than friendly remarks about what happened at the Citadel coup, when the two Specters had a twenty second standoff; what was perhaps the worst twenty seconds of Ashley’s life.

“Go easy on Ash,” Shepard had said to his helmsmen in the projection, “she’s been through a lot.”

Knowing Shepard had said this soothed her for a moment, but the worries crept back up as Joker began talking. “Yeah, like putting a gun to her commanding officer, almost getting the Council killed. That’s not gonna look good on her record.”

While she had absorbed the sting of the pilot’s words, Glyph’s holographic screen showed the commander smacking Joker on the back of the head. “Says the pilot who got me spaced,” he grumbled, “God damn it, Joker, think before you say once in a while. You really piss me off sometimes.”

The screen then blipped to Shepard speaking with Garrus in front of the memorial wall. Joker being a smartass was something Ashley could accept, but if Shepard got cross with his loyal turian teammate, something had to be amiss. The lieutenant commander did not want to see this, but like a bad ship crash, her eyes were pulled in.

“If it came down to it,” said the turian with a serious rumble in his voice, “would you have pulled the trigger?”

His words had clenched at Ashley’s insides, but the guilt kept her together. She knew what she did, and she had to live with it.

_Damn it_ , she thought, _what’s the point of this? Do I really need to feel worse about the coup? Now here comes Shepard, I know what he’ll say. I know Shepard would never place any one life over the war, not me, not him. Not anyone. And that’s how it should be._

“Garrus,” the Commander stated, his voice firm and chilly, “don’t ask me that kind of question.”

“Shepard, I know you and Williams were… close, but she might have killed you if you didn’t talk her down. I was there.”

“Damn it, you can’t be selective about the what-ifs. If you have the nerve to ask me if I’d shoot Ash, you can’t stop there. You have to question if there’s nothing that would ever pit me against someone else. Anyone else. Do you want to know if I would I shoot James if he got in my way? Or Liara?” the turian stepped back, as though he had stepped on a trap switch and all he could do was watch the Commander try to contain his boiling temper. “Would it make you feel better, Garrus, to know I’d pull the trigger if I thought you might be an obstacle, without a second thought?”

“Shepard… we’ve always supported you. You know that.”

“And that makes you special, immune forever? You really think you’ll never make a lapse in judgment again?”

The turian took another step back and ducked his head. “No, it doesn’t, and no I don’t.”

After Shepard marched away from the memorial wall, the screen disappeared. Ashley had stared at the AI for one long, painful moment, eyes wide, only able to let out, “…Yikes.”

It was time to fix things. If Ashley was the source of these arguments, then she was to be the solution. Things were improving on their own, little by little; she was there on the golden cliffs of Rannoch when quarians and geth made peace. The combination of “geth” and “peace” still made her shudder, the race of synthetics remained foreign creatures to her, but at least now there were more bodies to throw at the Reapers. And she was happy for Tali; she had always gotten along with the quarian engineer exceptionally well.

But it wasn’t good enough, this awkward calm; this buried hostility. Time was running out, Earth was burning, people were dying. Talk of her actions, of suspicion, did not surprise her all that much, but the lieutenant commander hated grudges, loathed this negativity seeping through the walls. And God knew Shepard did not need another trivial issue to weigh down on his mind.

The platform beneath her halted and a beep indicated the desired floor was reached. _Okay_ , she said to herself as she stepped through the panels, up to the cabin doors. She realigned her shoulders and straightened her hair one last time before the encounter. _Just going to air a few things out. He’s probably just stressed. It would be weird if he wasn’t!_

The door light blinked at her touch, and as the green particles dispersed, the door slid open. Her dark brown eyes were met with emptiness. An uneasy calm lingered in Shepard’s dimly lit room.

“Shepard?” she said. Her words floated past his work desk, down the small set of stairs and around his bed, but were left unmet with any answer. Her nostrils flared at the musk of coffee lingering in the air. “Shepard, come on, I know you’re here,” she said, light as her feet against the steps. She peered to the other side of the half-wall and found the commander, his sharp amber eyes upon his data-pad.

Ashley tried to swallow her anxiety, to push it down to the pit of her gut. Shepard always was the serious type, even when studying reports—his thick brow furrowed, broad back hunched—it was clear he was carrying the weight of the universe, and it was a relentless burden. As she watched him, issues of crew relations seemed so juvenile, but she wanted to help him somehow.

“Shepard,” she said once more with a firm projection. Her voice finally reached Shepard’s ears and caused him to hop in his seat.

“Oh, Ash,” he said, dropping his device, “I didn’t even hear you. Sorry about that, and the mess. I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

“I’ll bet,” Ashley surveyed the area around the commander. His bed was a sloppy collection of tossed sheets; the second work desk beside it had a surface smothered with digital report pads. Miniature ships were scattered about the cabin as if they had been at war with each other, and three stained, empty mugs claimed the table in the corner. “I know you’re busy and I don’t want to distract you, but…”

“I could use a break, truth be told,” he said as he brushed debris off his shirt.

“Then I’ll make this quick. I heard about some…misunderstandings with you and some of the others. About me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Shepard, you smacked Joker upside the head.”

“What, that? I gave him a tap. Crap, did I make him cry? Would’ve thought he’d toughen up by now.”

“And you never fight with Garrus. I know most of this has been about me, since the coup on the Citadel, what I did….Shepard, please. I don’t need or want you defending my honor. It’s my problem, I’ll deal with it.”

The commander gave out a thundering groan as he threw down the last ounce of coffee in his mug down his throat, and then began skulking up the stairs. “It’s not that. Not all of it. These people are under my command. I expect better than that.”

Ashley intercepted him at the top of the stairs. Her approach, she figured, needed to change. “You’re under a lot of stress. You’re only one man, and everyone is putting so much on you. But we’re doing so well, Shepard. And we’re all here with you.”

Her firm gaze made Shepard cringe and look downward. “You know, shortly after my mission on Torfan, people got a lot of ideas about me. Some saw a hero, yes, but others saw something else. When the numbers got out, they saw someone who would use people like they were nothing. Someone who saw the lives of others as expendable.”

“Shepard, protestors and news pundits don’t want to understand that there will be times when not everyone can be saved and that not every problem can be talked away.”

“I know. I never apologized for what I’ve done, but I wasn’t proud of it, either. I’m not glad that most, if not all, batarians outside the Hegemony are slavers and raiders, so I had to kill even those that surrendered. And I’m sure as hell not happy that more than half my squad died making sure other slavers thought twice about attacking humans. I’ve done my best to put it behind me. I don’t like dwelling on old haunts, but it’s not the same thing as forgetting. I never forget a mission, or those that helped me… for however brief a time. And I’m damn sure to consider every course of action before I go sacrificing people.”

The commander leaned against the pillar by the stairs and massaged his forehead with one calloused hand. The lieutenant commander drew closer to him and studied the crinkles and bags framing his eyes. He was so tired. Her lips parted to bring comforting words, but he ran his fingers through his raven hair and groaned again.

“So when people ask me if I were willing to shoot someone who fought by my side…and when people jokeabout not having to resort to killing someone because they were misinformed…then yes, Ash, it gets under my skin.”

“Shep…Bastian,” she said, working a subtle smile as she slid her hands onto his shoulders. “I’m touched you have so much faith in me. But the fact is…what happened, happened. I had a standoff with the man I care for, and that’s something I have to live with. Only thing I can do now is keep trying to earn everyone’s trust back.”

“But you shouldn’t have to do that,” he said as he grabbed her hands and held them against his heart. “Joker was talking out of his ass. You were doing your duty as a Spectre. The only thing you’re guilty of is defending a man who didn’t deserve your protection. I trust you. That should be more than good enough for them.”

“It might be enough when you’re around, but it won’t change the way they feel. Joker, Garrus, Tali…they stuck by you, through thick and thin, since the beginning. And Liara’s pretty much the whole reason you’re standing here today. I’ve been doing my best, but compared to all that, it doesn’t really stack up.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“But it’s true. When they write about us in the history books, the people who helped you send those Reapers back to Hell, I’ll be described as that one who doubted you. Even if I had every reason not to go with you after Horizon, that’s what people will see.”

“Ash, if you were to go back, do things over, do you think you’d have joined me while I was with Cerberus, fighting the Collectors?”

“I… no. No, I wouldn’t have. I wanted to fight alongside you again, but Cerberus wasn’t trustworthy and I couldn’t just stop being a marine.”

“Your decision was well founded. Now Cerberus is rotting from the inside, turning their own people into monsters. You were right about the Council, too. After all this time, I’m doing their dirty work for the slim chance they might assist me in some way. It's like the old ones were just reincarnated as the same damn people. You stood by your convictions, Ashley, and that’s a lot harder than people give credit for. It’s something I’ve struggled with.”

Ashley expelled a light chuckle as she leaned against her commander, nuzzling against his chest. “All right, all right, that’s enough feeling sorry for ourselves.” 

“But I am serious.”

“You’re serious most of the time.”

“Ashley,” Shepard turned his voice to a low rumble, his best attempt at a gentle voice. It was not a tone most others were familiar from him. “I could never be with someone who just fell at my feet, someone who didn’t challenge me, make me think about what I was doing and why. I have never admired or loved someone as much as you. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I won’t. Still, it’s nice to hear it every now and then.”

“Then I’ll be sure to tell you again sometime.” His thick fingers ran through Ash’s umber hair, and she responded by crossing her forearms over the back of his neck.

“So,” she cooed, “do you need to get back to work?”

“I think we’ve both earned an… extended break.”

 “Oh, really?’ she said as she removed her head from Shepard’s chest, looked up at him and gave a devilish grin.

“Really,” he growled as his palms wandered down her torso and beneath her waist. Ashley giggled as the heat from his hands traveled through her suit and made her skin tingle. Before she could switch to the offensive, Shepard gripped her legs, hoisted her up, and carried her to the edge of the desk. She barely had time to let out a surprised gasp before he had her propped on top of it.

Shepard leaned in closer, settling himself comfortably between her thighs. His hands maintained their focus, fingers running back and forth from the curves of her hips to the meat of her legs. He craned his head downward and pressed his mouth against hers. Shepard moved rapidly at first; his scratchy, stubbly mouth bouncing on and off her pink, billowy lips. Then came slow, careful dives, coming up only for quick breaths; occasionally switching angles, the tip of his aquiline nose brushing against hers as he prepared himself for another lunge.

She reached for the collars of his jacket to reel him in, but he freed his hands from their duties for one agonizing moment to tear the leather off. Once they returned, they ventured further up her torso, along her ribcage and toward the zipper in the middle of her chest. But it wasn’t enough yet; Ash nudged herself away from his grip, slithered her arms down his back, hooked her fingers to the end of his shirt and yanked it off, over his head. Shepard shook his head, invigorated, and gave a wild grin as he resumed. He made another attempt at her zipper, her own offensive forces preoccupied. Her fingers clenched the tight skin along his back and her ankles entangled his waistline, trapping him in that spot.

With slow precision, the barrier came down, clip by clip. The commander locked his mouth against her neck as he shoveled his hands underneath her suit and pulled it from the shoulders down. The lieutenant commander became too distracted by the subtle synchronization of their heartbeats, the warmth of his tongue against her creases, the weight of him pressing down on her, caging her frame, to deflect his advances. As she moaned, Shepard took the opportunity to bypass yet another obstacle, the shirt she had on underneath. It was overcome much easier; a simple tug and it was already hung by the corner of Shepard’s hamster tank on his top shelf.

More of her suit peeled off with every new collision; in moments it was bunched up around her hips. Shepard withdrew from the bestial rush to hook his fingers in the fabric and give it one final tug before the surrender. Sensing his direction, Ashley sat up and began kicking her boots off. She managed to scrape the first one off with her foot, and before she could wiggle off the other, her commander delicately slipped it off.

“Oh, what a gentleman!” she teased.

“I aim to please,” he said with a humble laugh. She squirmed in her seat, trying to get the suit off of her with a small wiggling of her legs. Shepard chuckled as she struggled, but when she reached success he placed a firm grip on each of her knees. He swept them apart and licked his lips. He watched Ashley bite her own lip in anticipation, but a surprise attack from the side. The glaring blast of flickering green spilled on his eyes and made him cringe.  

“Shit,” he groaned.

“What? What’s wrong?” Ashley responded, shutting her knees close in a fluster.

“There’s a…message on my terminal.”

“Were you expecting something important?”

“…No, no it’s not…” Shepard brushed a finger on Ash’s ankle; the desire to climb back up the toned, mocha-colored tower of her body stirred in him, eager muscles still tightened and tensed with anticipation for contact. But that damned little flicker on the other side of the desk taunted him like tiny luminescent claws at his eyes. He fought it off and turned his head away, tried to focus on Ashley’s long, dusky legs, but the decision was made for him.

“Commander!” Traynor’s sharp, energetic voiced popped from the ceiling, “Admiral Hackett tracked several Cerberus attacks on refugee crash sights! He wants you to investigate right away!”

“She usually waits until I’m in the CIC,” Shepard groaned. He hoisted himself upward, ran his fingers through his hair, as if to recollect thoughts escaping his head through each strand. “That can’t be a good sign.”

“Hey,” Ashley said warmly as she sat up and unfurled her suit back against her body, “it’s okay. We’ll take a rain check.”

Shepard shrugged and worked a smile over his rough, scowled face. “It IS nice having something to look forward to,”

“That’s the spirit, Skipper.”


	3. Jerks and Saints

Jerks and Saints

 

“Shepard,” the fuzzy image of Admiral Hackett announced from the holograph projected from the shuttle’s console, “in the last forty-eight hours, a ship carrying refugees was destroyed by a Reaper. Most of them evacuated, but now Cerberus is systematically intercepting the shuttles. I need you to find where they landed and repel Cerberus forces.”

Commander Shepard, in his glinting armor, with three ready squad mates sitting behind him, stood in front of the console, trying to keep his composure in the admiral’s view.  “This is… unfortunate, Sir,” he began, keeping his brow firm despite his confusion, “but I can’t put things on hold now to save a few people.”

“Time is of the essence, and as we speak, Thessia’s taking a beating. But Cerberus is part of this war now. Even after their coup on the Citadel, we still don’t know what they’re planning. But what we do know is that Cerberus is targeting these refugees right now.”

“Is there anything outstanding about these people?”

“Negative. They were heading to Sanctuary, on Horizon, like most people too afraid or too skeptical to stay in Council Space.”

“Understood, Sir. I’m on it.” The commander held his salute until the admiral’s image blinked off. He turned to his team, “We’ll make a quick sweep of each crash site,” he stated to them, “but I wouldn’t expect much.”

“This seems pretty desperate, doesn’t it?” asked Garrus, a thin layer of disgust melded in the flanging of his voice. “These are just civilians they’re going after. Regular people. Just when I think Cerberus can’t get any crazier.”

“It is likely Cerberus was tracking the refugee carrier before the Reaper attack,” said EDI. “They integrate those they capture, and those successfully augmented become new shock troops. That is how they are able to replenish their numbers so quickly.”

“That explains the humans. But they’re not taking members of other species.”

“Correct. However, Cerberus does not discriminate in the disposal of others, hostile are not. They will kill turians, asari, salarians and humans. Humans are just the only ones unfortunate enough to not be killed right away.”

“And they’re actively seeking out people trying to escape the war. Damn, there’s ruthless and then… then there’s that.”

“It is not a new strategy,” inserted Javik as he rose from his seat. The prothean had been among the team for several missions, but even familiarity did not dissolve the chill that emanated from his presence. “In the time of the Empire, all risks were suppressed. Every member of any race that stood against us were wiped out. Civilians included. It is what we did with the oravores.”

The turian winced in front of the prothean, not so much from the nature of what he said so much as the sheer level of inappropriateness. “Not that I doubt your team choices, Shepard,” he said in a low mutter, “and it makes sense to bring the ex-Cerberus AI, but… Javik?”

“Hey, his biotic abilities work well with mine,” said Shepard, unaffected by Javik’s grim words. “Plus, this is a hanar world… might be funny if he feels up some memories. I could use a laugh.”

“Ah… I’m laughing already.”

“Coming in hot, folks!” Cortez exclaimed as their shuttle jutted through bloated grey clouds and sheets of darting water. The shuttle dropped like a boulder onto a flat sheet of rock and grass.

Shepard and his squad could hear the blasts of gunfire and the trampling of heavy boots against the sullied earth before the shuttle door opened. Within seconds of ground contact, they burst from the pod and ripped through curtains of rain and grass. Shepard’s visor blipped on and fed him numbers and arrows all at once. He absorbed the information and chose a direction. He bolted to a small jagged wall of ridges that overlooked a deep chasm like a fang before a massive mouth. With his back against a rock, he signaled his three team members to three points around him. The prothean stood beside him, on the other side of the ridge, the AI behind a smaller lone rock, and the turian ran to a small cliffside, where he roosted ready with his slick black sniper rifle. Both he and the commander found a group of people on the other end of their scopes; the chasm stretched wide, bits of gravel were all that stood between them and the white and yellow clad troopers.

The turian’s rifle found the head of the Cerberus soldier at the forefront of the hoard and with a quick click, his head split open and burst into bloody chunks from the inside. The first trooper crumbled, and his padded knees dunked into the sand. The unshackled AI projected her likeness into the crowd of troops. Their bullets found no target, co clanging metal, while the real EDI ran to a trench further in.

Both the commander and the prothean surged with glowing energy. Javik was engulfed with wild green flares as he lifted his hands to the dismal grey sky, as if to move the heavens. With one motion, his light flowed from his body and latched onto two troopers like light-up parasites. Suspended in air, limbs flailing, filtered voices shouting, Shepard threw his own, blue energy from the tips of his fingers and knocked the troopers from yards away like bowling pins. 

Shepard’s chest burst with luminescent orange, coated with holographic light, as he drew closer to the center of the group. Garrus picked off more heads as EDI’s submachine gun shuddered against their flank. The commander’s mod-heavy pistol tore through the slits of Guardian shields, and when they pressed further in, he switched and unsheathed his assault rifle. Carrying similar weapons, he and Javik drew bullets like hailstones against their white armor. The prothean still simmered in primordial green energy; with a quick flicker of his free hand, it moved to a new target and seeped under the trooper’s armor, peeling off already rotted skin, tearing at his vitals until he crumbled like a ruin. The commander turned on his omni-tool, his biotic power regressing back into his body as his holographic gauntlet summoned a flash of whitish lightning that fried the internal systems of the Cerberus resistance. His projection gripped the troopers in shock, their bodies rattling in their armor, the electricity spread from one to the other, until the group fell together as a smoking pile.

“Show-offs,” the turian chuckled to himself as he watched the commander and the prothean wipe out the heart of the hoard before he could line up another perfect shot. The rainfall eased, but drips of water smudged the view through his visor. He lined himself up again; they can use flashy biotic moves all they want, but he was going to take down the last enemy in a subtle, efficient way. He was going to show them how it was done.

But his scope wandered. As he followed a stray trooper trying desperately to find cover, another turian reared into view. Even at that distance, he could see the slender frame, small fringe and crestless scalp. Garrus shrugged in his perch; there were just as many women as men in turian military and fighting Reapers, yet it seemed like forever since he’d seen one. She was on the other side of the chasm, parallel to EDI and directly in front of the refugees. As it registered that Shepard’s squad was not a threat, the turian woman unearthed herself, shotgun in her bony hands, and blew a shield right out of a Guardian’s grip. A few people, some humans and an asari, came pulling themselves out from the trench of sand, and together they made a push against the lingering forces, toppling over pillars weakened at their foundation by Javik’s dark channeling.

Garrus looked away for a moment; the fight was going well, and now he was curious. Further south, outside the chasm, on the shoreline, several bodies were placed gently in makeshift burials of pebbles and sand. Rain washed away some of the covers, and it revealed bits of turian ridges and bony plating. 

Shepard tossed another bumbling trooper against a wall of rock. Garrus snapped at the sound of the impact. He turned and saw the field was clear, the sounds of battle hushed, leaving only the pattering of rain and the shuffling of ocean foam. Garrus grinned as he spotted one last trooper, reaching for a Hornet on the ground. As the commander walked past him, he fired at the trooper’s struggling head. Shepard turned in Garrus’s direction and frowned. _Kill-shot’s a kill-shot_ , the turian sniper mused. _Next time don’t play around with them so much, Shepard._

As the last desecrated enemy collapsed onto the soft earth, the turian woman did not hesitate. She holstered her shotgun and bolted to the commander.

“First Lieutenant Nachthex Caelus, of the 14th  Squadron, Sir!” she barked as she threw up a salute. “You’re the one in charge here, correct?”

Shepard looked around as he stepped up to the turian woman. Smoking piles of Cerberus troopers on one side, bunched up crowds of people on the other. Some of them held sidearms, but their hands were shaking, eyes wide. The others were plastered with dirt and tears. This turian, he quickly gathered, was the only one with any combat training. Or at least the only one left.

“At ease, Lieutenant,” he said as he holstered his rifle. “It looks like you held your own for some time. Good.”

“Not good enough…” she replied with a heavy sigh, her stubby mandibles flaring in exhaustion, “but thank you, Sir. I sent out a distress signal hours ago. We weren’t going to last much longer.”

As Nachthex spoke, the team regrouped around the commander. EDI and Javik stood still at each of his sides, while Garrus slid from the cliff and jogged to the group, observing the mounds of sand by the cliffs as he went. For a moment, his eyes were fixed on the fingers that stuck out from the grains. There were definitely more turians when the shuttle had landed.

The lieutenant snapped back from her relaxed poise when she spotted Garrus’s silver and blue armor. “Vakarian, Sir! I had no idea you were here!”

“At ease, Lieutenant… again,” replied Garrus with a shrug, still not accustomed or comfortable with all the pomp and respect that came with the titles slapped on his person. “What’s the situation here?”

“I was one of several pilots chosen to assist the voyage of a carrier taking refugees to Sanctuary. We were just a few cliks short of the mass relay to take us to the Shadow Sea when we were intercepted by a Reaper. A Destroyer, I think, although I…think there were transporters and…slaughter ships nearby. I took one of the shuttles with as many refugees as it could carry. I was going to take them all to Sanctuary myself, but then Cerberus attacked. I dodged them as long as I could, but I couldn’t get to a mass relay. We made a crash landing here. I and anyone able to handle a gun have been fighting off the ground troops since.”

“They gave you no quarter,” muttered Javik. “It is… unsettling to be on the receiving side of this.”

“Still doesn’t explain what they’re doing here,” said Garrus, “now THAT is unsettling.”    

“I am… not even going to ask,” said he turian pilot, too tired and defeated to process the strange four-eyed alien. “I don’t… I don’t know what happened, Sirs. We were so damn careful, didn’t so much as skirt Reaper territory. I didn’t even think I was necessary, I wanted to go to the front lines.”

“It looks like these people couldn’t have made it without your help. Don’t sell yourself short, Caelus.”

“I don’t know, Garrus,” said Shepard, “do the turians have enough people that they can afford to divert them like this?”

“That’s what I thought,” said Nachthex, “although my captain and I were the only officers, to represent goodwill and keep morale high. Everyone else was either a test pilot or cross trained. According to my captain, it was part of a… donation to humans, because Commander Shepard did the impossible and united krogan and turians. The ship was a decommissioned turian carrier. The ‘Scuttus’, spirit of defending those who cannot defend themselves. But it had mostly humans on board.”

“We can ponder whether or not turian charity was wise later,” said Garrus, “we need to get these people out of here before Cerberus comes back.”

“Fair point,” the commander admitted as he opened his omni-tool and spoke into it, “Joker, bring in the Normandy. We rescued some refugees, we’ll bring ‘em to the Citadel.”

“The Citadel, Sir? Many of the refugees left because it’s already crowded and…with the coup…”

“Listen,” the commander projected his voice, firm and booming like a war drum, and began walking through the crowd. To the refugees, the downtrodden dirty faces, he presented an unflinching figure. “I know your faith is shaken, but scattering like vermin will not help you survive or help the soldiers win. It will only cause chaos for us to separate now, and the enemy revels in chaos. If you cannot fight, you must support us however you can. Do anything and everything in your power to show your governments you stand behind them, and to show the Reapers you will not give them the satisfaction.”

The crowd of refugees was still, the echoes of Shepard’s words ringing in their ears. They stood up and straightened their backs, proud.

“If I’m going to die,” began one of the refugees, “I’ll do it knowing I did everything I could!”

“We can’t flee,” said another, “not while we can still work.”

“I never liked Horizon, anyway,” muttered another.

“Wait!” a shrill voice cried. An asari ran up and tugged at Nachthex’s arm, “I can’t find Naja and Nymer!”

“What?” the turian pilot gasped. She turned back to Shepard, trying to mask her fear and keep composure. “Sir… Nymer is a hanar with his drell bodyguard, Naja. He comforted those too hurt or scared to fight while she helped me fight off Cerberus. She was a big help to me after my captain died. I need to find them.” 

The commander frowned at the news, then shook his head after a moment of consideration. “Lieutenant,” he said firmly, “we need to leave right away,”

“Sir…” the turian woman’s voice shook, sliding out her words like playing cards, “with all due respect, I can’t just abandon them.”

Shepard couldn’t help give a light chuckle, though it dampened just as quickly. “And when someone says ‘with all due respect’… but… no, no, I’m sorry, but we can’t risk all these lives for two.”

“Sir, please. I don’t know why they left. This is a hanar world, maybe… maybe they saw other civilians. Their reasons must have been good!”

“Could they be indoctrinated?” asked Garrus.

“That or they are foolish,” decreed Javik, “but either way, they are gone.”

“Shepard’s right, Lieutenant. We can’t help them. They’re just two people. We need to get you all to safety.”

Nachthex cringed as famous strangers determined the fate of two people she had come to respect. Her three-pronged hands clenched, as if to hold in the tiny fire of anger within her body, but it was not enough. “Is it because they’re not human?” she exclaimed. “Because they’re not soldiers or politicians and can’t be used as currency!?”

 “Stand down, Lieutenant!” Garrus snapped, his patience withered. His words lashed at the pilot and she froze up, the fire thoroughly quenched.

“And here I thought you were the only ‘bad’ turian who couldn’t take an order, Garrus,” said Shepard, arms folded. Even with the current situation weighing on him, his mood was lifted—for a moment—by pride. The turian cop-turned-vigilante-turned-advisor was definitely trying to imitate him, do what he would do. Although Garrus’s mimicry had occurred to Shepard more than once, it did not always make him proud.

But the commander looked again at the turian woman, head shaking in angry defeat, rain rolling off her face plates. After years of working with a wide variety of aliens, a few even claiming the rare title of “friend”, the more intense notions of xenophobia had been siphoned from his body. There were moments, though, that called for reflection; that it was very possible he simply valued the lives of humans more than aliens. For every loyal turian protégé, there was a whole race of people who wanted to wipe his kind out of existence, or get him to do their dirty work, or claim superiority of all the other species. Another voice would squeeze its way through these prejudices, something about jerks and saints. At the end of these reflections, though, he often concluded that he simply did not care for most people, human and alien alike.  

“I always follow orders,” the turian woman countered, “but with every bone in my body, I don’t like it. Five minutes, Sirs, that is all I ask.”

The unshackled AI, silently observing the situation like a student taking mental notes, got a blip in her orange visor. “Shepard,” she said, “there are Reaper forces nearby.”

Shepard snapped his neck in a rapid double take. “Here? Now?”

“I am detecting several signatures identical to Reaper tech within the abandoned city. However, there are variants of DNA not matched by any known Reaper troops.”

“What does that mean? … New kinds of foot soldiers?”

“Unlikely, given that Reapers only process species they have fully conquered. It is possible these are mutants, unable to adjust to new worlds. Cerberus troops are also in the area, likely in combat.”

“I guess that calls for investigation,” Shepard saw hope burst through Nachthex’s face, although he held his forearm out to block her from sprinting away. “Garrus, you and the lieutenant stay here. Protect the refugees and escort them onto the Normandy. EDI, Javik, and myself will look into this.”

“Understood,” said Garrus. He watched the commander, the AI, and the prothean swiftly march through the walls of rock and fences of wiry grass, onward to the concave buildings looming over the horizon like clusters of seashells.

When their silhouettes were obscured by distance and long strands of grass, Garrus slumped his shoulders. The pilot inched towards him.

“Your commander is… very stern,” she said.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Garrus replied with a forced laugh.

“If you don’t mind my saying… he doesn’t seem the sort that would work so hard for peace, to have us and the krogan work together… Sir.”

“I like to think it’s because he can see a bigger picture. Hopefully it’s a picture that doesn’t involve the krogan taking vengeance on the galaxy, but Shepard’s not one for rash decisions. All things considered, he’s taking the insurmountable, win-or-everyone-everywhere-dies stress of the war pretty well.”

“Really? He seemed rather… crustaceany.”

“Uh… I think the human word for it is, ‘crabby’.”

“… I don’t see the distinction.”


	4. The Spitters

The Spitters

 

“This way,” echoed several times from the AI’s clear but synthesized voice, as though Shepard and Javik needed constant direction. The commander and the prothean found themselves forming an arrow formation, with EDI as the tip. The woman shaped synthetic trotted along the cracked and rusty bridges, her visor blinking faster with every step like a digital compass. Her sleek blue and silver body glinted in the curling fog. Not once did she stop or turn to see the growing distance between herself and her companions. At times they would lose sight of her slender form within the curtains of mist, following only the clack of her feet against the ground.

The three of them marched across an empty railway, chunks of dust and debris rolling along the road. Specks of white were scattered in the vast maze of murky grey panels, calling back to a cleanly splendor the city once had. They trampled through mountains of wrecked cars and rivers of shattered glass that spilled out against the wide roads. Smashed building hulls crowned the railways and bridges, shards of their rounded ceilings reached outward to the sky.

Shepard huffed in the thick, wet air, disgruntled. Whatever awaited them at the end of this stretch of ruin had better be worth it. Every moment spent on this sticky mess of a planet could have been used to check reports, tweak his weapons, reaffirm war assets, anything that could help him defeat the Reapers. Hell, even relieving stress with Ashley, guilty pleasure though it was, would still be more constructive. It gave him no joy to say no to people, to not be able to save every last person, but at this moment, another world could be burning while he strolled through the rain. Still, there he was, scouring an empty hanar city because there may be some new minor form of Reaper threat. The very idea made him grind his teeth together.

“This place,” said Javik with deep contemplation as his fingers brushed against rotted kinetic lampposts and fallen advertisement projectors. “It was abandoned not long ago, but not because of Reapers.”

“Right,” the Commander replied casually, as if just to distract him from his own frustration. “This planet was devastated by a comet a few months ago. Turians assured the people here it was no threat, but they underestimated how bad it was. People were pissed.”

“Turians were never good at ascertaining threats. In my time, they would protect a single nest while the rest of the world burned.”

“That’s… good to know, but maybe don’t tell Garrus. It was difficult for him to leave Palaven.”

“Perhaps, but your turian comrade would do anything you asked. He trusts your judgment and abilities far more than his own.”

“Considering he’s not exactly modest, I guess that’s a good thing. But I’d rather he think for himself. I’m not always going to be around for him.”

“I was exploring the armory when I observed his sniper rifle. It is a tool he has used for vengeance. There was… a betrayal.”

Shepard’s mind drifted, for an instant, to a bar laced with neon. To a balcony that overlooked unsuspecting people. To a broken turian. “Yeah,” he said, disquieted, “Garrus led a vigilante group, but one of his guys sold them out, got the others killed. The two of us found the guy, and Garrus wanted him dead more than anything. I actually tried to talk him down at first, the poor sap wasn’t even armed, but he was… too far gone. He’s better off dead.”

“Your turian gave him a merciful death. More than he deserved.”

“That’s what Garrus thought, too.” Shepard looked away from the prothean and gazed at the crumbled city. Broken towers spread out to the sand and overlooked the waters like a field of crushed coral, begging for the touch of the sea. “You know, some people came back and tried to rebuild but… not this city, apparently.”

“By the time I was born, there was never even an opportunity to rebuild. Whole worlds were sacrificed so we could regroup in a shrinking corner of space.”

“You think they should start this place back up if we win, Javik?”

“I am… beginning to see failures can be a superior foundation than successes.”

“Maybe, but sometimes you rebuild and it’s just not the same.”

“We have arrived,” informed EDI as she stopped dead in front of a trail of fallen Cerberus troops. Seeing their sprawled, bloody corpses, it occurred to Shepard that the beachfront offensive was smaller than what he had come to expect from Cerberus. _Was there resistance somewhere else? Maybe something took them by surprise?_

“All right, there are Reaper troops somewhere in this building. Be on your guard.”

Shepard’s translucent tech armor blinked on and assisted EDI light a path through a shattered doorway and a blood smeared hallway. The commander resumed his position at point as the three of them simultaneously raised their weapons and slowed their steps. Raindrops tapped against the glass windows like little fingernails. The shuffling of restless seawater followed them from the outside. When stray Phantom limbs and disassembled Atlas circuits ended, dismantled shelves and smashed jars and vials began claiming every dusty corner. Data-pads flooded the surfaces of forgotten desks, and the tiles cracked beneath the squad’s feet.

“Looks like a lab,” said Shepard as he realized that the only movements he could hear were his own. “EDI, are you sure there’s anything here?”

“The machine is doing its job,” inserted Javik before the AI processed a response. The prothean veered off formation and brushed against a bloody wall with his hand. “There was a battle here, very recently. There was… intense pain. Suffering.”

“Whatever is—or was—here, they definitely made Cerberus suffer.”

“No, Commander. Not Cerberus…” Javik’s four eyes twitched in their sockets. He reeled his arm back, yet his fingers clung to moist smear of blood. The laboratory plunged into darkness. Figures of faint light, echoes of movement, trailed around him. They passed through the prothean’s body and followed determined motions like ghosts in their own world. The commander and the machine were gone, lost in shadows, and the lights did not notice him. He could only watch.

_“This one knows there are people here!”_ a voice resonated. _“It saw them! Heard their cries!”_

_“Don’t go! Come back!”_ cried another. The first voice was difficult to distinguish, but this one was clearly female, with a throaty reverberation. _“We must go back to the group!”_

_“If anyone can hear it, please come out! This one does not wish you any harm! It has come to help!”_

_“Please—aahhh!”_

The lights faded, voices meshed together. The prothean only saw blurring shades of grey and black, words replaced by scratching and screaming. Javik walked further into the lab, his fingertips tracing along scratches in the wall. He continued until the voices resurfaced from the waves of pained cries.

_“You must leave!”_ the first voice broke through the sounds of carnage, like a last gasp for breath amidst violent waters.

_“He Who Prays for the Silent, I will do no such thing!”_ the second voiced surfaced.

_“It is too late for this…”_

_“Please… I can’t… it burns…”_

_“Be good, Naja. Goodbye.”_

Clarity tore through the darkness, and Javik’s eyes refocused, seeing the white of the walls, and his own hand upon it. His teammates remained behind him; it appeared to be only a few seconds for them.

“There is something here,” the prothean said again, a shudder in his normally emotionless voice. “Something in great pain.”

Shepard raised his omni-tool parallel to a door lock as Javik spoke. A few glowing numbers scrolled through the air until his bypass was complete. As the doors slid open, another corridor spilled out in front of them. Shepard’s breaths grew more rapid, rattling in his throat. Rivulets of sweat fell underneath his visor and over the dark hairs on his mouth. His eyes, with all the focus they could muster, found only more data-pads and glass containers in tighter spaces.

He gave his attention to the digital words, just for a moment, for any sort of clue as to why Cerberus and Reaper troops were here like they were in a turf war. The data-pad’s messages passed through the commander’s mind, leaving only bits of knowledge. He was a smart man, but most of it still went over his head. Blood cell count, respiratory systems, oxygen intake, and Kepral’s Syndrome. The last few words gripped at him, demanded his attention. He felt compelled to stop and pick up that particular device.

_They were working on a cure? And they were close…_ The words on the pad transported him back to the Citadel, where he and his squad abandoned Thane. He remembered the drell, who fought at his side for a brief time, for no price other than the satisfaction of doing some good in the galaxy. And how Shepard left him there, back against the wall, in a pool of his own blood. W _hy’d he have to go and be a damn hero._ Shepard had to shake his head and discard the data-pad, return the memories of the dead drell to the recesses of his mind.

“Shepard,” said EDI, her visor blinking, “I am detecting high levels of toxin in the area.”

“Toxin?” The commander tightened the grip on his rifle as he marched from the desks and to the end of the laboratory. His eyes scanned the area as he passed, in every possible dimension, as he climbed over tossed shelves and pushed away wandering chairs. The three of them halted as a stream of dark liquid trickled under their feet. It funneled its way through the tiles on the floor and pooled underneath a second set of doors. As they drew closer, a hunched figure emerged from the shadows. The liquid bubbled underneath its thin toes. Stray bits of grey light slipped through broken windows and bounced onto a back of sinewy scales, a coat of green entwined with metal bones. When their steps reached the figure, it stood up and turned to face them. A lithe, wiry body. Long limbs of plated green flesh were intact, but the core of his natural body was ripped out, ooze-pumping mechanisms jammed inside, shielded only by a metal ribcage.  

There was still a face amidst the metal and mucus coating. Bright green, with darker shades around the neck and the ridges of the skull. Twitching, blinking eyes—machines jammed into the sockets after the natural black drell eyes were dug out—stared vacantly at the commander and his squad, shutter-like eyelids clacked in rapid succession. His mouth hung wide open, as if his jaw was unhinged, with that same liquid dripping from his black lips.

“Venom,” corrected Javik.

EDI inserted a quick, “Technically, both are correct,” as she readied her weapon, but the prothean did not wait another moment. A single shell popped from his rifle and pinged against the creature’s artificial heart. A weak hiss emitted from its maw as it fell backwards, inadvertently opening the doors behind it. Its fall unveiled a nest of creatures in his likeness; some blue, some red, some a blend of several colors, all bathed in poison and hunger.

Their abyssal eyes stirred at the glint of their enemy’s armor, and they slithered in every which way as fire poured into the room. Shepard barged in, biotics surging through his arms. He locked onto one in the corner and tossed a discus of energy that whipped against it. The creature quivered and hissed as the energy ate away at what was left of its flesh, but it remained on wobbling feet and followed Shepard’s movements. Venom frothed at its mouth as it pounced for the commander, only to meet the end of a glowing lash, tossing it across the room.

EDI and Javik took cover behind the ends of the first room. As they peered over the open door, they found their commander, tech armor and biotics engulfing his body, in the center of a growing ring of slime and tech meshed abominations. The unshackled AI tilted from her cover to push away oncoming creatures with her submachine gun as they threw themselves, poison gushing from their mouths, at the commander. The spew of chunky ink bounced against Shepard’s shield, the contact making the orb of blue light visible for a second before turning invisible again.  

EDI’s rapid suppression pushed enough back, before their cannons of poison breached his hull of tech. Creating greater space between him and them, Shepard showered the creatures with subatomic particles that burst from his omni-tool, capturing the reptilian troops in shackles of ice. EDI locked on the chilled creatures with a projection of fire, its orange glow flickered in the haze as it spiraled towards them, collided with their frozen scales and erupted into a bloom of flames and chunks of ice and scales.

The prothean followed, shot to one side of the room, and lifted as many of the creatures as his biotic field could manage. The venom fell from their shaking bodies like dark red rain. Steady fire convulsed from his rifle and knocked them from suspension, leaving drained, bubbling carcasses. He approached the pile of death, seeking to exterminate any twitching struggles, when darkness poured over him again. His double pupils dilated as the lab around him was cloaked in shadow, his squad-mates veiled. The ghosts floated from the hallway like puffs of smoke.

_“Goodbye… be good,”_ said a voice, Javik recognized it as one of the voices from before. The same people, same chemistry of life lingering in the lab.

_“I… I can’t move! What’s happening?”_ There was the other, the female voice, entwined with the other as it tried to escape, like a fly in wax.

_“Goodbye…”_  


	5. The Gorgon

The Gorgon

 

The ghosts trailed to the ends of the room, not minding the mounds of drell meat that were soaking in venom. Javik watched the apparitions as they fell upon a single chamber pod, just before the darkness retracted. Vision restored, Javik’s eyes focused on that same pod at the end of the room, its hull shaking. A warning to the commander gathered in his throat, but he was interrupted by a firm pounding sound in the room, like someone knocking against an unseen door. The three of them, surrounded by dead cultivated drell, readied their weapons as they watched the pod rattle like a hatching egg. Smoke emerged, carrying out two slender feet like a misty coach. A crown of tentacles reared from the chamber, each one as long as a full grown human, and pulsing with veins of white hot energy. Slender hands hoisted a sylphlike body from the pod. It was coated with gleaming teal scales, with a center cleaved with Reaper machinery and an oozing, toxic heart.

“Oh my God,” heaved Shepard, jaw dropping at the sight of it. “Drell and hanar… it’s another hybrid Reaper solider. Just like the Brutes.”

The creature released a scathing hiss as she found intruders in her lair. Poison leaked from her pale lips and mechanical eyes like running makeup. The veins in her tentacles throbbed as she glided, the edges of her toes grazed against the tile as she floated. When her vacant eyes locked onto Shepard and his squad, she lunged for them. They met her approach with blasting slugs, but she veered through their fire like slips of twisting wind. Javik threw his arm towards her, green biotic flares resurfacing across his skin, and he curled his fingers in her direction to reel her in. The creature jerked back the tug of his powers pulling her inward, but her body shuddered and she slithered out of his grasp.

Swirls of chilled atoms soared out of Shepard’s omni-tool and towards her boned ridged face, but she swerved away, and the ice brushed against one tentacle crashed against the ceiling. She slipped around the room, swimming around enemy fire. Energy beat from her bioluminescent crown. The tentacles writhed and wriggled, creating a barrier that enveloped her trim frame and deflected the shells she could not dodge. EDI’s rapid fire bounced off her thin purple shell as she swam towards the AI. She continued fire and pedaled back. The commander tried to push the creature back with a flashing succession of fire. The rounds pelted her barrier, but she torpedoed at EDI and thwacked against her metallic shoulders with the ends of her tentacles. Maroon sludge spewed from the slits of the creature queen’s teeth, spilling over the synthetic. EDI rolled across the floor, sparks flying from her body.

“The machine is down!” proclaimed Javik as he continued fire, his shells like taps against her barrier.

“Keep firing!” Shepard ordered. “It can’t hold up that barrier forever!”

“Can still… function,” stuttered EDI’s processors, her legs shambling as she emerged from the dark muck, gun raised. “Can still fight.” And she continued firing with her squad-mates as if she had never been knocked down.

The combined firepower battered against the queen creature’s protection. Her mouth foamed with frustrated hisses and toxic bubbles. It took all her concentration to keep the barrier up, so she could not squirm away, and Shepard and Javik knew it.

“Javik!” barked Shepard, “Do it!”

“Yes, Commander!” said the prothean. The waves of power coursed along his body. The rampant ramming of slugs receded in strength for a brief moment as he outstretched his arm and summoned a field of glowing green pestilence from his fingertips to the queen’s pure shielding. She cried as biotic disease spread across her barrier, eating away her clean defenses. Before she could react, Shepard propelled his own field of biotic power, and the warp boiled together with Javik’s own until they ruptured. The blast of energy tore the queen’s barriers open, and the remnants of her defenses fell, dwindling in the air like snowflakes.

Wild hisses poured from the creature queen as she swatted away the scattered lights. Shepard and his squad mates simultaneously raised their guns and resumed firing, her unshielded body shuddering against the bursting shells. She flailed and writhed under the pressure like a snake under a boulder. As her drell body collapsed into pain, her hanar limbs squirmed in the air with violent desperation. They cracked at the walls and at the ceiling like pink, fleshy whips.

“Damn it,” cussed Shepard under his breath. “This thing does not want to die.”

He continued fire, feet fixed into trenches of broken tile boards. Even as his squad mates repositioned themselves, the steadfast commander, in his war torn armor coated with the light of technical prowess, would not falter. Any moment, one more round would do it. The queendom was in shambles, her pawns rotting in their own blood. All that was left was her. He had faced far worse; he might even fight something more gruesome and dangerous later in the same day. The creature queen was weak, he was not.

A weak, “Commander!” fizzled in the back of his mind when a single strip of skin thwacked against his visor. When the glowing tip of the tentacle made contact, little streaks of lightning crackled across his face, sparks and flashes enveloped his body. A sharp and heated pain gripped his brow, like a hand of electricity wrapped around his face, fingers digging into his skin.

Javik saw his commander howl, holding his face with one hand while the second hand made a trembling journey to find his pistol. His legs wobbled to keep his fighting stance. Shepard wanted to finish this, but his biotics were sapped, and pain enveloped his body. The prothean’s thin lips snarled, teeth flashed like a deck of needles. He opened his palm, and with booming force, his biotics walloped the queen, her back smacked against the wall and she bounced onto the floor.    

EDI rushed to Shepard and scooped him up in her arms, allowing Javik the pleasure of delivering the finishing blow. He sheathed his assault rifle and pulled the pistol from its hatch on his side as he made his solemn march to the fallen creature queen. She flapped across the floor, her crown of tentacles making wet smacks against the tiles. Her gasps were clogged with the gurgle of blood, with the choking on venom. As he loomed over her shambling frame, flashbulb eyes scurried in their sockets, trying to comprehend the image in scope.

“An… ah… an Enkindler!” she said in a quick gasp, her voice twisted in reverberation. “You came… we prayed… you answered…”

“I have done no such thing,” Javik stated sternly. He watched the drell lips tremble in a last attempt to smile, the hanar limbs weakly tapping on the floor like tails of exhausted dogs. Chunks of reddish black still dripped from her mouth as she tried to speak again.

The prothean took his free hand and gently brushed against her forehead. When the veils of darkness unfurled once more, he watched the wisps fall from the walls and seep into the tainted scales. When the darkness sucked out from his eyes, the ghostly trails dissipated.

“These are the missing people the turian pilot spoke of,” said Javik.

“Shepard has induced shock. He is in critical condition!” said EDI, her voiced echoed from halfway down the hallway. “We need to get to the shuttle right away!”

“Of course. I will be there with you. I only need to make sure this… thing is dead.”

The AI did not wait for the end of his sentence. Her clacks against the floor became echoes. He would have to make this quick. He lowered his pistol, hoisted the queen’s shaking head, and lowered her eyelids with each finger.

She complied by clenching the other set shut and sighed, “Thank… you.”

With her eyes shut, head knocked backwards, Javik retook the gun and placed the end of its barrel gently underneath her chin. A single shot fired, one last gush of blood, and the prothean was on EDI’s trail.


	6. Heart of Stone

Heart of Stone

 

Peering over a wall, Ashley found Liara and Tali in the mess hall. The quarian was sipping some mystery fluid through a straw, while the asari glazed over a data-pad. The two of them did not look too far from what the soldier remembered; Tali squirming in her seat, brimming with energy, and Liara with eyes drifting to another world. It was not long ago when the three of them, along with a few others, were helping Shepard track down a rogue Spectre, helping the commander carve his place in history. Ashley tried to recreate the filter of naiveté in her mind as she remembered seeing the Citadel for the first time. And seeing aliens for the first time, at least up close.

She remembered befriending Tali quickly; the perky engineer was so eager to prove herself, it reminded Ashley of herself, in a way. Then she recalled things were not so smooth with Liara; letting the daughter of the big bad’s main lackey tag along did not sit well with her. It also did not help that the awkward archaeologist had a growing fascinationwith Shepard, but it was mercifully quelled. Ashley was left to assume it was misinterpreted friendliness, but then again, Shepard was not the friendliest guy, so the bond he shared with Liara was likely Liara’s own machination. Ashley ended up feeling sorry for her once the dust settled, but now it all seemed so distant, and so ridiculous.      

A lot had happened since those days hunting Saren, though. And not just the coup on the Citadel. Ashley worked. She kept practicing, kept training, kept learning. She did anything and everything to lift the Williams curse, to make good on the chance Shepard gave her, to be worth the lives that were sacrificed so she could keep living. When the commander was lost to the unforgiving bowels of space, she gave herself time to mourn, but her body ached when idle, mind rattled for fear of festering. So she got back up, and kept working. And what did these two do while she worked? Liara gave up her profession to track down the remnants of Shepard’s body and offered them to a terrorist group for the astronomically small chance they could piece them back together. Then, when Cerberus managed to release Shepard from the firm clutches of death, Tali was somehow able to wrap everything up with her people—the people that are like family to her, that define everything she is—just to fight by the commander’s side again. And Ashley kept working.

The lieutenant commander winced and took a step back. Maybe joining their conversation was not wise. Maybe she should head back to the observatory and work on her reports. Maybe the asari and quarian still saw a doubter, a nonbeliever, within her and wanted nothing to do with her.

_No, damn it all!_ She told herself with clenched fists and a puffed out chest. _We all have to work together, these people have to trust me!_ She took another prideful step, beyond the wall and into the mess hall. By then her steps had resounded and the asari and quarian were aware of her presence, even if they did not acknowledge it. _Okay, I can do this. No big deal._ She told herself as her steps became a brave march to the table and a seat next to them. _Here we go. Just be casual._

“Hey, girls,” she said gingerly.

“Oh, hello, Ashley,” complied Liara, barely lifting her eyes up from her work.

“Hey,” said Tali between sips.

“So…” Ashley cringed, her fake smiling twitching. She had hoped this would come easier, that a conversation would just present itself. She trailed back to the memories, of working with these two for the first time, back on the original Normandy. But there were others. “Oh! Liara, I heard Wrex was here not too long ago. I’m sorry I missed him. Funny how close we were to… almost having the old gang together again.”

“Oh yeah,” added Tali, “Garrus told me that. But he couldn’t come with us on missions. He needed to stay on the ship and work on the war effort. And Mordin needed his tissue to work on the genophage cure.”

“…Mordin?”

“He was a professor that Shepard picked up to help beat the Collectors. And a doctor. And a former STG member. And I think he did some acting and singing. He created a modification for the genophage a while ago, but he wanted to fix things.”

Liara’s eye lifted from her data-pad as she chimed in. “He died on Tuchunka, but not before distributing the cure. This was only days before you rejoined us. You should have seen it. The ruins, the hope in all those krogan, and I have never seen Wrex so happy.”

“And Garrus said something about a mother of thresher maws.”

“What?” Ashley gasped. “Man, you guys get into crazy stuff while I’m not here. Figures.”

“I’m sorry I missed it, too.”

“Mordin gave his life to make things right,” continued the asari, “I didn’t get the chance to get to know him very well, but he seemed very… earnest.”

“You mean ‘weird’,” Tali chuckled, then turned to Ash, “I can’t believe I didn’t tell you about all that. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

Ashley gave a warm smile. “Yeah, we do.”

“It’s just… with the war and all, it’s hard to keep things in check.”

“It’s okay, Tali. I just wanted to make sure we were all still on good terms.”

“Of course we are,” said the quarian machinist as she straightened her back, if only to emulate courage in a dark time, “I guess I was just preoccupied, is all. Worried about… stuff. We just won back my home world, but it’s not really any safer.”

Liara tried to follow suit with a firm brow and said, “As long as Shepard and the rest of us are here, this war will be over before they ever reach Rannoch.”

“If you don’t mind my saying, Tali,” said the soldier, the mention of the quarian home world uncovering a question in her mind. The implications caused her to hesitate, but things were going so well. “You were always so concerned with your people, and you seemed pretty set on going back home after Saren.”

Tali’s three-pronged hands tapped against the table in nervous contemplation. “I was. And I did… I even bumped into Shepard on a human colony that the Collectors hit, but I couldn’t go. I had obligations to the Admiralty Board… you know, for what it’s worth, Ash, I understand why you didn’t come with us. I didn’t even join back up until after my job was done. You can’t stop being a soldier any more than I can stop being a quarian.”

“Thanks, Tali. I know it’s been… messed up, but I appreciate that.”

“The important thing is we’re all working together now,” said Liara.

The quarian only responded with a reflective, “Hmm,” her eyes appeared to float in her helmet like fishes in a bowl.

“Is something the matter?”

“No, I just realized something. Shepard had to save Ash and me from geth, who killed our teams… of course, Ash kept fighting, I locked myself in a room.”

“Tali…”

“We’ve come a long way, is all. Actually, I didn’t lose everyone. There was one marine who distracted the geth until Shepard came in. He was like you in a lot of ways, Ash, you would’ve really liked him.”

“Oh?” inquired Ash, proud of herself.

“Shepard told me when he got there, he was keeping the attention of a whole squadron of geth, armed with a single rocket launcher.”

“Wow, sounds like my kinda guy. When do I get to meet him?”

The soldier froze. Only a faint visage could be seen from Tali’s purple visor, but her confident stature began to crumble, shoulders slumped, toes curling under her feet. She could see Liara covering her mouth with her hands in shock. The word, ‘would’ve’ echoed in Ashley’s mind, and she smacked herself in the face. “Tali, I… that was so stupid, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. Really. Sacrifice is part of the marine’s job. It’s why I didn’t want to… I mean, I did, but I knew…”

“You and this marine were close, huh?”

“We were on and off a lot. We both had obligations, but when that’s all you have…”

Ashley winced again. How could she appear genuinely sympathetic to a friend who lost someone she cared about when her own boyfriend had been resurrected?  _Crap! I totally overstepped my bounds! What I wouldn’t give for a distraction._

“Hey, ladies!” a boisterous voice barged into the mess hall. The three women looked up and found James strutting to the counter. He turned to them, noting their lack of responses. “You know, if you were all talking about how hot I am, it’s okay, you can keep going.”

Ashley was about growl at his insensitivity, but Tali pulled herself out of her slump and recovered. “Hello James,” she chirped, “what are you doing over there?”

“Hey, Sparks! Just gonna cook up some frijoles churros with the leftovers. I’d offer you some, but… yeah, you know.”

“It’s okay. I just finished eating, anyway.”

The soldier sighed in relief, knowing the quarian machinist was still in good spirits. In the corner of her eye, she caught James walking to a bottom cabinet on their side of the mess then bending over to go rummaging within. It was time to help lighten the mood.

“Psst, hey you guys,” Ashley said in a whisper, pointing to James as his ends wagged in the air. “What do you think? I give it a five. Clearly his main event is on top, right?”

Liara cocked her head in confusion, but was further confused when she heard Tali’s softly echoing giggles. “Wait, five? Five what?”  

“How ‘bout, you, Ash? Frijoles churros!” James exclaimed in a near singing tone as he retrieved and readied his frying pan.

Ashley shook her head. “Vacuum sealed beans and ham that’s more preservative than pig? Yeah, I’ll pass. Man, you’d think on a ship with two Spectres, an advisor to the Primarch, a quarian Admiral, and the Shadow Broker, we could requisition a few steaks! Seriously, what I wouldn’t give for a simple hunk of real meat…”             

“I don’t think that’s really fair,” mused Liara. “After all, you already have Shepard.”

The lieutenant commander’s face stiffened, mouth agape. She gave a confounded look to Tali before turning her had back and seeing the smirk creep on the asari broker’s face, then she burst into laughter.

“Aha!” she cried. “Now you’re getting it, Liara.”

“How long were you waiting for the opportunity to use that?” giggled Tali.

“A while,” admitted the asari.

“Hey, wait a minute. How did you guys even know Shepard and I were still together? We were trying to downplay that.”

“Oh please,” said Tali. “He was so grumpy when we were with Cerberus. Now he’s… less grumpy. Plus there’s the picture.” 

“Picture? What picture?”

“Oh, yes,” added Liara, “we found a framed picture of you in the armory. We think the Alliance moved it from his cabin in the retrofitting.”

“And we’ve been taking bets on how long it’ll take for him to find it. Garrus was so sure he’d find it right away, but I keep moving it. I’m raking in the credits.”

“Tali, that’s cheating!”

“My new house on the home world isn’t going to pay for itself.” 

“Hey, hey!” said James, heading popping out from behind the counter as he searched for ingredients, “I didn’t hear that! What did I miss?”

“Oh, nothing,” said Liara in a singsong tone, “but I will try some of that… human cuisine, if there’s enough.”

“All right! Doc’s on board!”

The lieutenant’s use of a nickname made Ashley lean back in her chair and wonder. “Hey, Vega,” she projected from her seat to the counter. “When am I getting a nickname?”

“Huh? Well…” James stood up and rubbed the back of his neck, like this was a test and he didn’t study. “You’re just Ash, you know?”

“Aww, come on, that’s lazy. That’s just the first half of my name. You don’t call Tali ‘Tal’. I want something inventive.”

“All right, all right, let’s see,” James rubbed his thick, stubbly jaw in contemplation, and when his imagination kindled, he snapped his finger. “I got it! Lita!”

“That’s… not what I was expecting.”

“Yeah, my best friend growing up had two hot sisters. Older one was Lola, but you remind me of the younger one, Carmelita.”

“So… you’re giving me this nickname… because I’m hot?”

“Well, uh…” James rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah?”

“Screw that!” she belted out as she yanked herself from her seat. “Everybody else gets something cute based on a personality quirk, and I get one for my looks? Sure, I’m hot, but that doesn’t define me!”

“Ha!” cackled Tali. “You tell him!”

“Hey, hey, hey, you don’t have to gang up on me,” said James apologetically, “I think she’s a cop now, if that makes any difference.”

“Come up with something else,” Ashley demanded.

“Okay, okay, let me think…”

The lieutenant commander folded her arms and gave her subordinate a sick-humored grin. She watched him struggle, his brow creased under the weight of her gaze, but in a moment his dark eyes widened and his jaw flapped. Ashley squinted at his shocked expression, but then heard a rush of hustling feet flooded behind her. When she turned, her eyes caught the end of Garrus storming into the med bay on the other side of the floor. Tali and Liara catapulted themselves from out of their seats and through the doors. James’s bulky frame brushed against her shoulder, unintentionally giving her a hard push, as he jogged to the same direction. With a blank face, she followed everyone, only certain that whatever was in there, she was not going to like.  

“Hey, what’s going on?” she asked once inside the med bay, only to be met with the backs of her teammates.

Tali was the closest to her upon entrance. She bounced on her feet to look over the heads of others. “I think Shepard’s been hurt,” she told her.

“W-What?” the very thought clutched at her gut. Things were going too well, Shepard was too talented and too careful to let something like this happen.

“Everyone, please!” Doctor Chakwas strained. “The Commander is going to be fine, just give him space!”

Ashley had to shift her way through the crowd forming in the med bay, squirming past slumped shoulders, siphoning out disturbed words and hushed phrases to try to form a picture of what was happening. Shepard’s face would be the light at the end of that tunnel. Just the slightest crack of a smile would ease her rampaging nerves, let her know the mission was successful, that there was just a little scruff, everything would be fine. It was Shepard after all; he’d gotten through much worse without a scratch.

When she reached the end, the commander was hoisting himself upward. He let out an exhausted grumble, bagged eyes half opened. Ashley threw her hands over her mouth, so he could not see her lips quiver. Trenches of cybernetic wiring framed his angular face. Faint tints of red ran across the contours of his swarthy skin. Cruelty and malice were stitched in from brow to chin.

“Damn it,” Shepard groaned, massaging his temples. “What happened?”

“Shepard, the Reaper trooper we encountered temporarily paralyzed you,” informed EDI. She was closest to Shepard, having carried him to the bed minutes ago. “It has also caused minor burns.”

“Minor?” blurted out Ashley. In his groggy daze, Shepard did not notice her until that moment, the distress in her voice yanking his head to look upon her. “What’s wrong with him, Doctor Chakwas?”

“Oh my, that’s right, you don’t know,” said the Doctor, her leveled voice lulling over the crowd, except for Ashley. “Shepard suffered several scars during his… time with Cerberus. I performed reconstructive surgery, but it didn’t so much heal them as hide them. It seemed whatever he encountered down there burned through a lot of the protein implanted in his face.”

“My scars are back?” Shepard shook his head, still trying to fight the haze that loomed over him. 

The soldier tried to contain herself, but a harsh chill crept up her spine and caused her to shiver. “So when he… when they brought him back… he was like this?”

“No,” a voice broke in so stern it parted the crowd. Garrus walked to the bed, studying the depth of Shepard’s crevices. “I remember, when we met back up on Omega, they weren’t this bad. I just thought he had a few scratches. They got worse over time.”

“Yes, well, as I told the commander myself, the dermal regeneration is tied to his mental state. During the time with Cerberus, Shepard dealt with a lot of stress. He reacted… poorly to it, not only halting the healing process but aggravating the tissues attached to his cybernetics.”

“I knew the commander had died,” said Javik as he asserted himself to the front, “but I did not realize how entwined he is with machine. The workings of Cerberus.”

“I’m still me,” groaned Shepard.

“Are you now?” In his dazed state, the commander could not collect enough willpower to fight off Javik’s hand as he placed it on his forehead. Inky shadows dripped from the Normandy’s walls and swirled around the prothean. As he drowned himself in Shepard’s mind, he absorbed images through a film of blood. Crumbling buildings, firing weapons, their violent blasts rumbled underneath the prothean’s feet like furious tremors. Bodies fell around him before they were dragged off into darkness. Glowering batarians oversaw the vast hall of memories like sentinel gargoyles.

Javik passed through haze and found loving faces, obscured in Shepard’s mind like shells at the bottom of the sea, buried under years of anger, under layers of blood. He felt their presence as flickers of tenderness. Their warmth came afloat as a single beam of energy, an energy the prothean connected to the lieutenant commander. Though more distant and struggling to swim, the energies of the companions around him found their way to the prothean. They came together, a web of energies blanketing overhead. Javik pricked a finger against the webbing and saw the network was stretched thin. “I see,” he said as he unclasped his palm from Shepard’s face.

Shepard gasped when his face was free, like a breach for air. “Why did you do that again?” he asked.

“I went deeper. Your scars act as a map of who you are now. The people you’ve lost, killed, and left to die. Your squad on Torfan. The soldier on Virmire. The missions you endured when there were more pressing matters… assisting your turian comrade in his revenge, something he should have done himself. You have hidden scars under the guise of stoicism, and now they have surfaced on their own.”

“Shepard, what is he talking about?” said Ashley, breath strained.

The commander sighed, fingers still on his creases. “Before the suicide mission, members of my team asked for… assistance. Help them get closure to focus better on the Collectors. Garrus wanted me to accompany him as he took out a mole from his vigilante group. I was… irritated about so many diversions. Maybe the suppressed anger was part of why my scars progressed. That’s why I got the operation… I didn’t want to be seen like this. I didn’t want you to…”

Ashley clenched her fists, tried to contain her frustration as it shook in her body. She turned to the turian and gave him a fiery glare. “Wait, wait a minute. You got Shepard to help you kill someone?”

“Ash, I agreed to—”

“No. No, it’s not even that!” the soldier put a hair’s distance between herself and Garrus, cranked her neck up and snarled, “Where do you get the nerve to question MYintegrity, Garrus? To insinuate Shepard might have had to shoot ME, when YOU’REthe one asking for favors in exchange for loyalty?”

The turian looked down upon the angry soldier with a frigid gaze. “We were going on a suicide mission, in case you forgot. I found the man responsible for killing my squad. He was going to get away with it if I didn’t track him down. I needed to see justice was done to do my best for Shepard. And my loyalty has never been in question.”

“In question…?” The skin under Ashley’s eyes twitched, fingers curled tight against her waist. “You are so full of shit, Garrus! Where do you get off looking down on me, telling me about loyalty? I never asked Shepard to track down and kill anybody! Not twice, like you! You know what I asked of Shepard? To come to my sister’s memorial for her husband! I asked him to hang at the Citadel for five minutes!”

“These people NEEDED to be dealt with! I asked for Shepard’s help because I trust him!”

“I lost my squad to geth, and now they and the quarians are holding hands singing kumbaya! Where’s MYclosure, huh? Where’s MYjustice?”

“I never said—!”

“It wasn’t just Garrus!” Tali called out as she moved up to the bed. She twitched under the weight of frustrated eyes upon her. “I also asked something of Shepard before the suicide mission. I was accused of treason for something my father did. We went to the flotilla for my trial. I didn’t even tell him I needed him to represent me. I got him involved in quarian politics.”

“I share fault as well,” interrupted Liara, bottom lip trembling. Having watched the soldier and turian fight, she battled an image of anger. A frustrated _You did this to me!_ blasted into her skull at the sight of Shepard’s scars. And the voice was right. “I did all this to Shepard. What you see here, those scars… are a direct result of my actions. And then I got him involved with the old Shadow Broker, with my obsession for revenge, when all he should have been focusing on was the Collectors.”

“That’s enough, all of you!” The commander barked, having collected enough strength pooling in his body. His clangorous voice caused everyone’s backs to straighten, mouths snapped shut. “This is the price of getting my life back,” he said as he got off the bed and began walking towards the door, the crowd opening for hi m without resistance, “but they don’t interfere with my performance or the mission, and that’s all you need to know. Dismissed.”

Ashley frowned as she watched Shepard march for the door, not another uttered from him or anyone. “Shepard,” she said softly, containing her anger.

“Everyone return to your posts. That will be all.”

“Shepard, come on.”

“Not now, Ash. I need to get back to work.”

The door light blinked and split open. The lieutenant commander bit her lip, but it wasn’t enough. With the commander halfway through the door, she sprinted across the room and exclaimed, “Don’t walk away from me, Bastian!”

“Damn it, Ash,” he groaned, stuck in his step. He turned to her, and she saw up close, the detail of webbed wires entrenched within his cheekbones. “What do you want me to say? This is what I am.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

The commander paused, stony countenance crumbling under the weight of her gaze. With a swallow, he muttered, “…I wanted to forget.”

She looked upon him with her slumped eyes and her pouted lips, but the pain in her face turned him away, and he walked to the elevator in solitude. The crowd drifted away from her, and she was left alone, confused.


	7. Anthropomorphize the Universe

Anthropomorphize the Universe

 

 

_Commander,_

_I give you thanks for assisting the refugees and myself. We would not have lasted much longer against Cerberus, let alone Reaper troops. I also feel the need to apologize; I’m not an expert on weapons that can’t be attached to a ship, so I’m sure you did most of the work on the field. But now I can repay you in full. Because you took the time to help, I can return to the skies and help push the Reapers back. Perhaps I’ll even fly over Earth, if I manage to live that long._

_Your “modified” comrade was kind enough to inform me of Naja and Nymer’s fate. Even knowing they, my captain, and countless others gave their lives in this war—and accepting this fact, as turians are expected to—it is still painful, knowing their lives could have been longer. Knowing they could have given so much more._

_I wish you luck in your coming battles, and that you will—forgive the informality—continue to “kick  the ass”. I think that’s how it goes._

_1 st Lt. Nachthex Caelus, Palaven Air Fleet     _

 

Shepard could see red and orange lights glinting in the reflection of his data-pad. In the swirls of his coffee. He put both down and lowered his head, fingers trailing up his cheeks, over the cruel chasms, and fixed over his scalp like a calloused crown. At least the marble surface of the mess hall counter was forgiving. Knowing only darkness accompanied him, teammates and crew tucked away in their quarters, he released a pained groan.

“You know,” a gentle voiced rolled in, “if you’re trying to fall asleep, you might want to lay off the caffeine.”

The commander lifted his burdened head and saw Ashley approach the counter, arms folded, eyes straight, trying to upkeep a peaceful and good humored expression. “Yeah,” he answered, trying and failing to work up a laugh for her, “but with the biotics, I need a steady calorie intake and somewhere along the line, I got addicted to this stuff.” He watched as she took a seat across from him. Her thick lashes fluttered, lips pursed, brow smooth. He knew she was trying to look at him, not the scars, but knowing her eyes were on him still caused him to twitch. “Can I make you some? I’ve gotten pretty good at it.” He said it as an excuse to turn away from her, if only for a minute.

“Maybe another time, I just wanted to check on you. Must’ve been a rough day. Drell Reaper troops, huh?”

“Yeah. Of all the things I thought I’d be telling Hackett about, Reapers using yet another species was not on the list. It’s puzzling, though. There’s not nearly enough drell to make a sizeable army, their world was already dying. And I did some research, there hasn’t been a single report of anything like what I saw today. Those things were new, but…”

“Hopefully it’ll stay an isolated thing, then.”

“Yeah, hopefully.”

“Man, though, just when you think you’ve got these crazy things figured out, they pull out some new trick. I mean, you killed the last of the rachni, but they still got those Ravagers.”

“True, and those things are a pain in the ass. And… Banshees aren’t just asari, they’re Ardat-Yakshi. Maybe… maybe that’s it. They’re not aiming to make a hoard of shock troops, but a few powerful soldiers, to spearhead their ground assaults.”

“That’s not really better or worse, but it’s something.”

“Those drell things… they were in a laboratory of some kind. I think they were working on a cure for Kepral’s Syndrome. Maybe they were scientists, or volunteers, or... in any case, it’s gruesome, what was done to them.” Shepard cringed, his mind tunneling back to the lab, which delved further to reveal Thane’s likeness. "Do you… remember a drell? In Huerta Memorial Hospital?”

“Yeah, in my physical recovery class. Tannor. He talked about his son all the time, it was so sweet. It sounded like they were in a rough patch, but he really loved that kid. I actually showed him the book you gave me. The man was definitely not apologetic for having a sensitive side. But when Cerberus got to the Citadel, I ran to the Council and he went some other way. I have no idea where he went.”

“Actually, his name was Thane Krios. He was an assassin, and worked for me during my pursuit of the Collectors. He even asked me to help him fix things with his son, in a sense, before he died.”

“He was a… wait, so he’s gone? I knew he had Kepral’s Syndrome, but was that what did it?”

“No. He died protecting the Salarian Councilor from a Cerberus assassination.”

“I had no idea. He was at peace with his condition, but I didn’t think he’d go and do something like that. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.”

“He probably didn’t have much time left anyway, but I know how you feel… I don’t like seeing people throw away their lives when it could’ve been prevented. At least his son was there when he passed.”

“And now he can be with his wife.”

“Yeah.”

“Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns. The earliest pipe of half-awaken'd birds. To dying ears, when unto dying eyes. The casement slowly grows a glimmering square; so sad, so strange, the days that are no more.”

“Tennyson?”

“Yeah. ‘Tears, Idle Tears’. Tann—I mean, Thane—he liked that one. Seemed like… he was trying to let go of his regrets, but you can’t just forget these things. Sorry if that came out of nowhere, but I didn’t have a whole lot to do in that hospital.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad you two got along.”

“Man, it’s just…” Ashley watched as Shepard kept his head tilted sideways, face looking at random objects in the room. Her hands floated across the counter surface to meet his. “Hey, how are you holding up?”

“It was just a shock and a few burns. I’m fine, save for…” His gaze wandered off the counter, climbed along her fingers and arms, until it locked onto her face. He had to look straight at her, he owed it to her. But as he did, he cringed, seeing the thin mask of happiness on her. “Ash, you don’t have to pretend you don’t see them.”

Ashley gulped, but she kept her hands on Shepard’s and her eyes on his. “It’s a bit to take in, you realize. You should have told me.”

“I know. It’s just that they’re a reminder that I was bought back from the dead, remade by Cerberus as their tool. For a while, I was okay with it. I needed to keep going. No one else was going to take care of the Collectors, the Reapers. But later on, the Illusive Man… it just got more and more obvious he was using me, just got a little worse each time. He was more than ready to throw me out if I stopped being useful. That’s what you do with tools, use them up until they’re worn out.”

“Come on, Shepard, you’re a person. I’m not gonna pretend to know what coming back from the dead is like, but you can’t see yourself as a thing.”

“Got to a point where I couldn’t look at myself. That’s why I got the surgery. But it didn’t fix anything. They were always there.” His head dropped again, hands drifted to push away his cup and data-pad to the far side of the counter, so that he could not so much as catch a glimpse of the red in his face. He choked up trying to speak again, his normally steadfast baritone faltering, his words shaking. “I’m sorry, Ashley. We just got back on track, so I didn’t want to put you through this. But I ended up making it worse.”

She leaned in closer and put a hand against his cheek. Her fingers tripped over the gashes, and her eyes began to well up with tears. “Serves you right for not bringing me,” she said with a weak laugh. “Don’t know how you managed to stay in one piece for so long without me to protect you.”

“Nothing short of a miracle,” he responded, fighting the strain to crack a little smile. “But… when I was with Cerberus, after Horizon, I wasn’t sure you even wanted me back. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t. There were times I was sure you wouldn’t.”

“Come on, Bas, what did I say about feeling sorry for yourself?”

“I was cold to you, then. And you were still nervous around me, up until Mars.”

“Well, keep in mind… it’s you we’re talking about.”

She had finally managed to work a smile on her Commander’s tired face, “Heh, okay, point taken,” he said.

“When you died, I tried to move on, and honestly, I was doing a pretty good job. I even started seeing this guy for a little while… then I heard you were back and… I couldn’t do it. The feeling I got… I knew I wasn’t totally over you. So I had to break it off, it wasn’t fair to him.

“It’s just little things, you know? You think you’re over something, you go the longest time without thinking about it, and something happens, and it’s like a dam breaking. Like that mission on Tuchunka. I don’t know if it was the word ‘bomb’, the sound of Victus’s voice or just something in the air, but something in my mind… snapped, and all those memories of Kaidan flooded in. God, I miss him, I wish… he would have made a better Spectre than me.”

“Don’t you dare talk like that.”

“It’s true, damn it. He was more experienced, he had biotics, had a much better track record than I did. Never even lost any of his men to hostile action. What happened at the Citadel, he wouldn’t have let that happen, or at least he would’ve handled it better.”

“Ash…” Shepard cupped his hands over hers, with a stare that pulled her in. The gaze of his unfettered eyes pushed away the sight of his scars. “Is remembering this making you think about my choosing you over Kaidan?”

“It’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself to think about it. I mean, if you had gone back for him, maybe my sacrifice would’ve lifted that Williams curse once and for all.”

“Maybe, but… damn it, Ash. Don’t think for a second it was my feelings that saved you. Alenko was an excellent soldier, and if I could’ve gone back I would have. But you can’t measure worth like that. You know what it means to work for everything you get, and that’s what I need. You don’t stop working because someone rewards you. This war isn’t going to be won with people giving each other accolades. Medals of honor don’t impress the Reapers. It’s gonna take blood, and strife. You know that better than anyone.”

“Yeah… I do.”  

“I don’t need any more martyrs, Ash. I need you.”

The lieutenant commander took a breath, and a warm smile crossed her face as she released air. “Thanks, Bastian, this was a good talk.”

“I’m sorry I keep doing this to you. Bringing up all these things.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. I’m glad for it. I mean, sure, there are times when it’d be easier if I couldn’t feel a thing. But then I wouldn’t be quite the same. Might feel like crap for a while, but eventually it makes me want to do better.”

“Do better… listen, I was thinking… I could just get the surgery again, but Chakwas told me the rate at which they heal or progress is related to my mental state. So I was going to try and… be more positive, and maybe they’ll actually go away this time.”

“I don’t know, Skipper, wartime isn’t ideal for learning to smile more.”

“I’m hoping it goes a bit deeper than that. When I was in detention, I did some thinking. And after Tuchunka, things really started to hit home.”

“You mean when Mordin died to cure the krogan? Liara and Tali told me about him.”

“That’s exactly it. I wasn’t going to let him do it. I almost stopped him. The genophage was created for a reason, he and I were in agreement, or at least I thought so. But he was so determined to undo it. It was his work, maybe the most significant thing he had done in his life, but he wanted to change it.

I want to do better. It’s hard to explain. But maybe if I don’t approach everything with anger and cynicism, maybe if I can think of this war as not just fighting for survival, but for a future worth living in, maybe they’ll heal.”

“You really miss this Mordin. He must have made a great impact on you.”

“I do, and he did. It’s funny, I think he originally joined me against the Collectors as a way to atone. But what he did, that was on his terms, and now… now atonement is looking like a good idea to me.”

“Bastian, you may not be the easiest guy to get along with, but you’ve done great things. You’re doing something great right now. You really think you need to repent?”

“I’ve always believed in doing what needs to be done, no matter the price. So many people have given their lives so I could keep going. The people we’ve lost—Kaidan, Thane, Mordin—everyone, they deserved better. And it’s not going to matter unless the galaxy is one worth living in. I can’t make that personal connection with the whole universe. But I can think about them, about those still around me now… and you.”

Ashley had to bite her lip, to keep the trembling voice and weepy waters locked within her heated face. “Wow, Bastian… that sounds a lot like Kaidan, if you don’t mind my saying.”

“That’s a good thing. He was a man of integrity.”

“Yeah, he was,” the lieutenant commander slowly hoisted herself off her seat and rubbed her salty eyes with her forearm, lest she stay another moment and allow the memories to overwhelm her. “I… should let you get back to it,” she said as she started to drift away, feet on the floor. “Don’t stay up too late, now.”

“Ash,” Shepard pulled her back in as she reached halfway between the counter and the hallway. “Before all this happened, when you came up to my cabin, I was going to ask if you’d like to stay there. With me.” He saw her pause, squirmed in her step. The ever present spark of heat that emanated from his face was still too intense to ignore, as much as she tried. “Give it some thought.”

She rubbed her flushed cheeks and sniffed back the tears into her sockets. “I will.”


	8. The Pack

The Pack

 

The commander looked through the shuttle window as it darted through a dusty orange sky, tearing through a paper thin layer of clouds in the atmosphere. Jagged cliffs and rocky canyons sprawled across the dry earth as their vessel approached.

“Alliance forces are doing sweeps of the worlds where refugees crash landed,” he began as he turned to his selected crew: Ashley, Liara, and Tali, suited up and intently hanging on his words. “But a few of them were intercepted by Cerberus. We still don’t know what they’re planning, but they can’t get these people.”

“What about Reaper troops?” inquired the quarian. “Is it possible we’ll encounter those drell things like on Belan?”

“The Reapers have deemed the population of this planet too low to launch an invasion,” EDI’s voice echoed through the shuttle’s communication system. “And there are no other ships matching Reaper signatures in this system.”

“All the same,” said Shepard, “be prepared for the worst.” The hatch door opened as the shuttle hovered over the flat, rocky platform. Rectangular buildings spread out in front of them, with smooth surfaces and minimal detail, as if they had sprouted from the harsh terrain. The commander and his squad burst from the shuttle, trampling over a field of grounded pebbles and sand. As they crossed through the decayed remnants of a kinetic fence, a flash of blue light bloomed in the distance.

“Looks like we got here just in time!” proclaimed Liara as she pointed ahead.

As the four drew closer, rushing through a complex of single-story boxes, they found a krogan standing under the orb of biotic light. His bulky hands were outstretched, defying the oncoming crowd of white and yellow clad soldiers. Shepard glanced beyond the barrier and locked onto a suit of gears, claws and armored plating. “Ash, Tali, go flank that Atlas. Liara, you and I are on crowd control.”

The soldier and engineer broke off their formation and made a sharp turn to the side. The commander and shadow broker ran to the head of the assault, weapons readied, power coursing through their bodies.

Liara sprinted to the krogan’s side, her little frame drenched in his massive shadow. She let out a spry, “Need some help?” as a whitish blue bubble flickered from her fingertips to the Cerberus vanguard, snatching Assault Troopers and Centurions by their boots and enveloping their bodies in a state of burning paralysis.

“Oh good, an asari,” huffed the hefty krogan as he whipped out a clunky rifle, letting his barrier dim. “Now I can focus on the fun stuff!”

At his other side, Shepard unfurled biotic energy that smacked against Liara’s bubble, chucking the troopers across the field, and the resulting blast lashing against all the troopers nearby.

The krogan advanced into the chaos, knocking down every trooper he passed. His movements were slow, like a statue come to life to walk among them. The earth quaked around him; first a single armored foot bashed against the hardened ground, then the rattling clink of a metal foot that hit the earth and shook it like a thunderclap. Cerberus soldiers receded in his approach, shrunk in his shadow like puny waves against the hull of a mighty ship.

Shepard took quick notice of the krogan’s power, or some mix of strength and foolhardiness, he was not completely sure. But as slugs showered the hoard as quick as a lightning storm, the enemy force seemed to cower at his behemoth stature. “Hey,” he said with a sense of fellowship, loud enough so the asari could her and nod in understanding. “We’ll set ‘em up, you knock ‘em down!”

“Sounds like a plan!” he roared. “Only thing takin’ the kids is a working shuttle outta here!”

“All ri—wait, what? Kids?”

Across the field and around the body of the hoard, Ashley and Tali scurried down a road lined with abandoned weapon sheds and soldier dormitories. Through the gaps between buildings, they could both see the Atlas, preoccupied with backup fire, exposed. Each one of them scrambled until they found a safe position; a hollowed shack, with a cracked window wide enough for both of them to fire.

“Ready, Tali?” said Ashley with enthusiasm as she readied her sniper rifle. A blue holographic, bullet-shaped sign flipped alongside the sleek body of the rifle, indicating her ammunitions were infused with shield-destroying energy.

“Let’s do it!” said Tali, her forearm bright with the glow of her omni-tool. Turned on, her sphere shaped drone revealed itself to the giant mech. The driver within locked it in his sights, completely unaware that the glass over his canopy was in Ashley’s scope. The Cerberus soldier heard the faint poundings of shells against his shields just before a heavy tap against the yellow glass. It paved the way for a second shot, one that darted through his helmet.

“Nice shot!” cheered Tali.

“Thanks. Now let’s…” Ashley paused in her words, head tilted towards the door. 

“What’s wrong?” The battle still raged in the distance, the clamor of blasting bullets and whirling biotics rung in Ashley’s ears, but there was something else worming into her ears. She stepped away from the window, then out of the shed. Her steps were careful and precise, so she would not miss it. The quarian followed, confused. “Ash?”

“I heard something. Something nearby.”

“Is it Cerberus?”

“It sounded like…” The soldier shuffled onto the path connecting all the buildings in the complex, switching to her assault rifle. She blocked the out the sounds of battle, concentrating on the road ahead. She advanced until the disturbance wriggled into her ears again. A tiny, sniffling sound. “Is that… someone crying?”

The quarian walked to Ashley’s side. “I think I hear it, too,” she whispered. They proceeded down the road until a faint sob leaked from the tiny crack of a nearby door. With a shared nod, they each went to opposing sides of the door.

Another pained second of silence, and Ashley burst through the entrance with her foot. A wave of shrieks and cries washed over her. Her head was knocked back, eyes widened at the sight of a crowd of children, huddled together between boxes and shadows. At the head, the first one she saw, a young woman—no older than eighteen, cloaked in pink—cradling a small pistol in her hands. The girl gasped as she flung it upwards, elbows wobbling. A firm “Don’t shoot!” left Ashley’s mouth as her kinetic shields blinked, deflecting the single bullet.

 “Oh no!” the girl exclaimed, her eyes welled in tears at the sight of what she had done. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I thought… I had no idea!”

“Hey, hey,” the lieutenant commander said in her most soothing voice. “It’s okay, you didn’t hurt me. It’s going to be all right.”

“Everyone, please,” Tali said softly, “we’re here to help.”

“I thought for sure you were Cerberus or… or something worse. I heard footsteps and… I thought it was over. Crux told me not to hesitate if the worst happened, so I… I’m so sorry!”

“It’s really okay, kid. Just relax and put the gun down. What’s your name?”

The girl in pink reeled the pistol to her side and sucked the tears back into her face. “Aisha,” she said with a shaking voice.

“Aisha, are you and these kids the only ones here? Is there anyone else?”

“No,” as she spoke, the small children crowded around her, clutching her waist, their startled little bodies still quivering. They were mostly human, but a small asari leaned against her, sobbing into Aisha’s dress, and a little turian reached for her free hand. “It’s just us.”

“Where did you all come from?”

The young woman clutched the turian’s hand as she spoke. “Little Lykus here ran off… the kids all followed me and I stupidly let them. We were heading back when we heard machines, so we hid. I thought Crux had killed them all already and we’d be heading home any minute.”

“Oh Keelah,” Tali gasped, “were you the only ones to survive the shuttle crash? Is it… just children here?”

Aisha swallowed her apologies and smoothed the strain from her round, dusky face. She looked down upon the children and gave them a reassuring smile. “There are a few adults, but they can’t fight. Some of them are sick. Crux… he’s a krogan, he rounded up most of us when our ship was attacked by Reapers. He was just helping us with food and fire, and then Cerberus came and… he took it upon himself to protect us all.”

The soldier gave the girl a respectful nod. “Thank you for holding down the fort while we got here. We’re going to clear the bad guys out and make sure you all get to safety.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

The sounds of battle still rang in the distance. Ashley and Tali both stepped out of the building, looked out across the horizon, and saw Cerberus resistance crumbling. A few troopers were hiding behind boulders and in trenches, while the combined torrent of biotic powers from three figures swirled in the distance. The soldier couldn’t help roll her eyes. _Always with the flashy powers._

“Aisha, I need you and the kids to stay put and stay low,” she commanded, then turned to her quarian comrade. “Let’s finish this off with some realpower!”

They zigzagged through the buildings and hurled themselves onto the field. Tali ran to a Nemesis, masked eyes locked on Shepard’s form. The machinist slung a heavy blast from her shotgun that slammed the sniper against the surface of the boulder, marking it with a flower of blood. Ashley trailed behind her, firing rapid ammunition upon the heads of the Centurions.

The soldier and engineer closed the distance between themselves and Shepard with each fallen foe. Liara distinguished them across the field, but troopers were scattered in their stony cover. “Let me help you finish this!” she said as she readied her hands, biotics beaming through her fingers. She opened her palms towards the rust colored sky until a sphere of black energy emerged from wisps of air. The sphere unfurled invisible strings that latched onto every foe, snatched them from cover and dangled in the air like fish, helpless to the hook. The two women on the other side of the field grinned as they raised their weapons.

“Pull!” Ash said with exhilaration as her assault rifle pounded against the suspended Cerberus bodies. Tali joined her with single hard-hitting shots until her fire combined with the soldier’s heavy concussive blast, knocking the troopers out of suspension and onto the unforgiving earth, as corpses.

“That appears to be all of them,” said Liara as she ran up to the soldier and machinist.

“Nicely done, ladies,” Ashley said with a satisfied grin as she held up both her hands with open palms. The asari and quarian simultaneously smacked each one of her palms with their own, rejoicing.

“Hey,” their commander bemoaned, knowing he was out of the loop, “since when do you two know how to high-five?”

“Since I taught them how,” smirked Ashley.

“Watch out!” a young voice called, in the direction Tali and Ash came from. The squad snapped around to find a lone Phantom, her nimble body swift in silence. She closed in, sword in hand.

“Ash!” Shepard cried, seeing the soldier was first in line against the Phantom’s blade.

“I got this!” she said. Seeing the Cerberus acrobat loom closer from the shadows, Ashley grabbed the other end of her rifle, planted her other foot forward as if she had stepped onto home plate. The Phantom’s sword was raised, but the soldier swung her gun. The uncloaked Phantom  received the end of Ashley’s rifle with a hard ‘thwomp’. It twitched on the earth before giving up. “Gotta conserve ammo.”

“Wow!” that same young voice cried. Ashley looked up and saw the girl in the pink hijab jogged in her direction, the small flock of children at her side. “They’re gone? They’re really gone? You saved us!”

“I think that’s all of them, at least for now, but I told you to stay put.”

“I… you’re right, I’m sorry. The kids all said they heard something, and I thought they were gone, so we started heading back. But then I saw that thing coming from behind, and I got so nervous… but you took it down like it was nothing!”

“That didlook pretty satisfying,” Shepard commented from the side.

“I… I recognize you! From the vids!” The girl’s brown eyes widened as she looked upon the lieutenant commander, as if she were the only one there. “You’re the new Spectre! The second human Spectre ever!”

“Heh, Alliance really plastered my induction ceremony everywhere, didn’t they?”

“Wow, I knew the Alliance wouldn’t abandon us, but I didn’t think they’d send us you! That was amazing! The way you shot all those guys in the air and… and the way you… just… wow!”

“Hey, hey, come on now,” Ashley feigned humility in her voice, though her grin continued to expand, “I wasn’t the only one who beat them. It was a team effort.”

“Oh! Of course, how silly of me!” the girl squeaked, flushed in embarrassment, then looked towards the children, “Say ‘thank you’ to the nice ladies for saving us, everyone.”

A collective but disorganized, “Thank you nice ladies!” came from the mouths of the children.

“And really, we were just following our commander’s orders. You should all be thanking him, especially.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Shepard approached with a smirk, “I’ve never been one for the public eye, anyway. It’s about time you got a little fan recognition, Ash.”

“I… thank you, Commander.”

“Commander Shepard! I’m so sorry, I should’ve…” Aisha’s words trailed off as the Commander walked closer. The subtle glow of his cybernetics caught her attention, silencing her thoughts, and closed up her throat. She could barely muster out a new word when the little asari at her feet began to wail, staring at the commander like a deer before headlights. “Ssh, come on now, it’s okay, don’t cry…” she cooed as she brushed her gentle fingers along the top of the asari’s head, slowly lulling the child’s frightened cry.  The asari child took refuge in her chest as she knelt down. “I’m sorry, Commander. I’m sure she didn’t mean it. She… she got separated from her mother and…”

“There’s no need to apologize,” replied Shepard, inadvertently running a finger against his cheek, as if to test if the wiry stitching for signs of healing, of which there were none.

“Commander!” a thunderous voice boomed from behind the crowd. The commander found the hulky krogan stomping towards him like a moving tower, grabbing one of his hands and shaking it with such fervor, Shepard’s whole body shook with it. “Crux Olyndik. I understand I have you to thank for ending the genophage.”

“Uh, yeah,” said Shepard, still shaken by the krogan’s massive and unusually friendly presence. “Did you hear from Urdnot Wrex?”

“What?” he barked. “All krogan have to know each other? Is that what you think?”

“What? No! I just—”

“Haha!” the krogan’s entire body trembled in laughter, “I’m just kidding! Yes, Wrex has spread word all over. I can’t fight like I used to, so I’ve been helping refugees. Everything was fine until we got blindsided by a Reaper. Snuck outta nowhere like a stray varren, and just as cheap, too.”

“You were protecting all these children?” inquired Liara, “That’s very noble of you.”

“Humans have a saying, ‘stick up for the little guy’, and these are the littlest guys I know. This war might’ve been a lot easier if certain folks didn’t have their heads up their own tailpipes, but the kids shouldn’t have to pay for it.”

“Right,” the commander said with a mild nod. His mind formed burning cities and crumbling colonies, and his gut twisted, knowing the Reaper menaces did not discriminate in their ruthlessness. The images went further still; he had known the grip of violence and death at an early age. The memories were dusty and stale, but gave a useful message: the galaxy doesn’t care how young you are, how pure you are, or how much you deserve to live. He shook his head and tried to banish the images in order to see the task at hand. “Do you have any idea where these Cerberus troops are coming from? We need to eliminate them.”

“Damn right. I’ve done enough fighting to know we’re in an old turian military base. My scout tells me they’re coming from the far side of the complex, but they’ve been pushing me back, and I couldn’t get too far from the kids.”

Shepard’s brow curled. “Your…  scout?”

“Yeah. Quarian kid. No warrior, but he looked like he’d been in a few scraps and he wanted to be useful. He’s helped me anticipate some of their attacks, but he stole one of my guns and hasn’t come back.”

“What!?” Aisha cried, her voice so sharp it startled the little asari and she started to weep again. “Neekos left again? That idiot! I told him…”

“I’m sorry,” said Crux in a low rumble. His attempt at being gentle sounded like the whimpers of a big attack dog. “He at least had enough sense to take the only weapon of mine that wouldn’t break his arm.”

“But he doesn’t have any real combat experience! He’ll die out there! We need to get him!”

“That kid clearly didn’t have a lot going for him. He didn’t have a home, like all of you.”

“Now wait just a minute!” snapped Tali, “You think he’s some kind of vagrant just because he’s a quarian?”

“I knowhe was a vagrant,” the krogan said matter-of-factly, “only reason he was on that ship was to steal what little refugees could carry. I didn’t tell him to go, damn it all. But if he wants to redeem himself and kill a few Cerberus freaks in the process, I can only tell a crazy kid ‘no’ so many times.”

“Don’t talk like that, Crux!” wept Aisha, “He’s not bad! He didn’t want to steal, he just…” the girl in the headdress withdrew her indignation, bit her tongue in hopes to hold it all back. She looked towards the commander, her cheeks red and eyes dry. “Commander Shepard, Sir, I… I know I can’t ask you to go out of your way to find Neekos, but if you could just… maybe just keep an eye out… he’s a good guy and…”

Shepard groaned. The last time he was asked to keep an eye out for someone, he got chemical burns. “What is it with you refugees and leaving the group? Haven’t you ever seen a horror movie?”

“Commander,” interrupted Ashley, maintaining a professional tone, though she directed a disappointed frown at Shepard. “We should get going. If there’s anyone to save, they can’t wait much longer.”

“There’s one other thing,” the krogan said with an ominous tone, “Well, several things. It’s not just Cerberus that’s out there.”

“Reaper troops?”

“No idea. The way scout described them, they sounded more like nathak. Not like any Reaper soldier I ever fought.”

“Things just keep getting better…”

“Then we’d better get on it,” said the Commander as he began the advance. His three squad-mates walked ahead, and as they passed, he took one last look at the group of refugees. “My ship is coming to pick you up and get you all out of here.” They responded with grateful but weary grins. He began to walk away, but turned back to glance at the girl in the headdress. She steeled her face and took a hard swallow. The children buried their faces in the ends of her dress. He muttered, “I’ll… try and look for him,” and she forced a smile.


	9. The Shades

The Shades

 

A stretch of rocky terrain sprawled out in front of the commander and his three squad mates, lined with block shaped buildings. Hollowed out weapon stables and emptied training booths stood firm against whistling winds. A thin blanket of purple unfurled above the squad, as if trying to catch up to them while it devoured the orange sky.

Tali shuddered, the sharp winds smacking against her suit. Beyond the wall of buildings, there were layered plateaus and towers made of boulders. They overlooked swerving trenches and deep canyons. Twisted tree branches and bushes squirmed out of the earth, out of the splintered cracks, only to frame the barren slopes of land with meager spots of life. The formations traced images of Rannoch in her mind; this world might have been an acceptable world for quarians to colonize, at least at one point.

“Shepard,” Liara’s voice entered the cold silence, “I was just… thinking. That krogan described these ‘others’ as nathak, but this is a dextro-based world.”

“He said they were ‘like’nathak,” replied Shepard as he turned to the quarian. “Are you familiar with any dextro predators?”

Tali shook her head, “No, nothing like that. Most fauna on Rannoch are not as… ferocious.”

“Then let’s just weed out the rest of the Cerberus resistance. We can’t worry about the wildlife.”

“It’s pretty grim, though,” interjected Ashley, “Shot down by Reapers, chased by Cerberus… only to get eaten by… wolf things. I’m glad we came when we did. Of all the planets in all the galaxy, the shuttle filled with kids had to land on this one.”

“Seriously…”

“You handled those kids pretty well, Shepard. All things considered. Even if we can’t find that girl’s quarian friend, you eased her mind without sugarcoating it.”

“Are you kidding, Ash? They were terrified of me. That older one tried to be polite, but I saw the way she looked at me. And little kids are honest. If you have a flaw, they’re not gonna pretend to not see it.”

“Hence my saying ‘all things considered’. At least you didn’t flash your teeth and shout, ‘boo!’”

The soldier watched as her Commander’s damaged, stoic face began to crack with a faint smile and chuckle. “Heh… yeah, I couldn’t do that. I like kids too much.”

“Really now? Well, aren’t you just a mystery wrapped in an enigma.”

“That’s part of the adventure, Ash.”

The soldier chuckled. “Oho, you smug bastard, you.”

“Shepard… “ said Liara, “if I may interrupt you’re uh… ‘flirting’…” the asari’s steps teetered off the path, to a slanted cliff that stood over a vast prairie. Her three squad mates followed.

“Wait!” Shepard barked the moment he saw movement across the cliffs, “Get back! Stay down!”

All four snapped back and took refuge behind boulders adorned with straggly shrubs. A gnashing, crunching sound came from the distance. Ashley bent down upon the earth and propped herself at the farthest end of the cliff, with enough of a covering angle. She unhinged the sniper rifle from off her back and peered through its scope. Her three teammates could make out spots of white armor with their unassisted eyes, but the scope brought the soldier’s sight right to the flat slab of ground.

“What do you see?” breathed Shepard.

“I’m… not sure.”

A group of darkened figures hunched together in Ashley’s sights, their heads bobbing about. From their hooded heads to their slumping backs, they appeared close to human. But their knuckles dragged along the earth, and their legs bent like that of a wild dog, all with three pronged claws attached. Limbs, clad in white and yellow, were wreathed around their shadowy meeting place like ingredients for a demonic ritual. Ashley choked. _Are they… eating them?_

Whatever they were, she decided, could not be friendly. A single shot pierced the bitter silence. It flew across the darkening skies and through a single veiled skull. The other three creatures flung their heads up and launched their wiry bodies against the earth. _Oh no, you don’t!_ The soldier’s scope latched onto one of the feral creatures as it dashed, with enough time to catapult another slug through its back. The other two twisted their necks in its direction for a moment, but decided to keep moving as its twitching ceased.

“Nice shooting! Come on, let’s get the rest!” said Shepard as he threw himself out of hiding, turned on his tech armor, and slid down the rocky slope all in a single, smooth movement. Ashley followed with as much hardy precision, then Tali with a more reluctant but willing hop down. Liara looked down upon the petrified, dust-covered slop of land and sighed before gently stepping over, trying to walk until the angle of the slope forced her to run.

“You think they’ll take us to Cerberus?” asked Ashley.

“The krogan said they were at the far end of the complex,” huffed the commander, armor clunking with every hurried step. “Those things are running in that direction. Hopefully it’ll be more time efficient than searching every building.”

Tali was quick on her feet, but something pulled her back, called for investigation. She peeled herself from the group and darted to the first fallen creature. Up close, every feature it had bathed in the star-strewn light of the evening sky. It was a small, slender thing. The curve along its waist, the draping of its ragged hood made the machinist quiver. _It’s… a woman? A woman what? No. No, no, that can’t be!_

Fingers shaking, she hooked her hands on the creature’s shoulders and rotated it, so she could look upon its face. Tali gasped as she beheld a ridge crowned head, nested in broken glass. Blinking lights rested in hollow sockets. A little mouth stuffed with fangs and wires. Stretched synthetic skin and mechanical bones framed the light body and were tucked under swirl-patterned rags.

Tali stepped away. She flew to the second body, her mind unable to process the answer, fighting against the knowledge of what was on the other side. But she pushed it over and found the same thing, individual features wiped away by fused machinery.

“Tali!” Shepard’s voice rung in the bitter air. “Come on! We’re going to lose them!”

The quarian’s legs wobbled, surrounded by two corpses, feeling their presences closing in on her, suffocating her with the stench of death. “This… this can’t be right,” she said in a hurried breath, “How could this happen, and so soon? I don’t… it doesn’t make sense.”

“Come on, Tali!” Ashley’s voice echoed. Her tone was muffled by greater distance but softer than Shepard’s. Her eyes stuck onto the motionless frames of the corpses as she ran, until they were bits of dust against the horizon.

When the quarian saw the backs of her teammates in close sight, she huffed out, as plainly as she could, “Shepard! Guys! Those… those things! They’re… they were quarians!”

“What…” The commander tripped in his step, his foot skid against the solid earth, upon hearing those words. He pushed himself to keep running. “Now we have Reaperized quarians?”

“Tali,” breathed Ashley, “are you totally sure?”

“Positive!” she snapped right back, her body shivering, still burdened by shock as she ran. “What else could they be? They definitely used to be… to be…”

“Okay, first drell, then a hanar-drell hybrid… now quarians,” Shepard stated plainly, “starting to see a pattern here, but not much of a reason.”

Liara focused the power in her mind as her feet trotted across the ground, combating the awkwardness that stirred in her gut. “Perhaps the Reapers are creating… prototype soldiers. Experimenting with new species. If… somehow we are unable to stop them… they would come for these species eventually. Even if they’re smaller in number, they’re still sapient, intelligent… Able to pose some threat. What we’re seeing here could be test subjects… for what the Reapers surely see as inevitable.”

“That’s pretty damn arrogant,” said Ash, indignation weaved in every powerful step. “Where are they even getting these quarians? If they were snatching them from the flotilla, I think we’d have known by now.”

“Well…” the asari gulped and threw back her uneasiness, the cold wind lashing back at her strapped throat. “If I had to guess, most likely… ones who got lost on their Pilgrimage… perhaps recently deployed soldiers and… oh, Tali, I’m so sorry!”

“No,” the machinist asserted, “the Reapers haven’t taken us yet!” Her feet bounced against the surface and she threw herself to the head of the group, sprinting like a flash of purple lightning. The two Spectres exchanged surprised glances as they added momentum.

The squad closed in on the remaining feral creatures. Tali’s breathing churned as she watched the cultivated quarians whisk along the cragged earth, their arms dangling as if midway between transitions to running on all fours. She pushed herself further, but the creatures were slowing down. They had found something.

Thin shadows popped from beyond the horizon as their chase continued. As they drew closer, the darkness unraveled, revealing an array of satellite towers. Shepard and his squad pounded against the earth, blood flooding in their rush. They watched the quarian creatures scamper to the base of the tower, where they met two more identical creatures.

“Keelah, no,” said Tali, exasperated, “there can’t be more.”

“Wait!” said Ashley with a finger pointed at the tower. “Is someone up there?”

The four of them looked up against the crosses of metal bars. What was first a speck of crawling shadow, like a spider on the tower, became a more sapient shape with every step forward. They approached the tower, but the attentions of the feral quarians were locked onto something else. Like rabid dogs, the creatures clawed at the metal, threw themselves along the rail.

“Is that… another one of those things?” asked Shepard, squinting his eyes, trying to distinguish the climber’s features. “What are they doing?”

The four approached the satellite, weapons raised. In their sights was a lanky young man, cloaked in black and dark blue, climbing up the bars. They raised their heads and distinguished the young man’s inward bent legs and three-fingered hands that gripped at the bars as he climbed.

As he approached the tower’s peak, he freed one hand and swiped for the pistol hooked on one of his many belts as the other hand kept him anchored. He twisted his torso, revealing a black tinted visor. His thin body trembling, he pointed the gun downwards, fighting rapid breaths to keep aim steady. His arm jutted with every shot he fired, grazing the tattered hoods and reinforced shoulder plates of the creatures. He fired until his nerves betrayed him. His nervous muscles cramped and the pistol fell from the hooks of his fingers, banging against one of the creature’s heads.

“Hey!” Shepard funneled his voice to the top of the tower, “Stay put!” But his voice could not clear the fog of the young quarian’s shaken nerves. His fingers scrambled all across his waistline until the stumbled onto a small capsule fastened on his outer thigh. The commander and his asari squad mate had begun tugging the feral quarians from their frantic climb with hands of bluish biotic light, when their necks cranked up at the sight of a grenade. “Watch out!” he boomed as the quarian chucked it to the ground.

The four pedaled back from the tower base, until the arcing power of the grenade forced them off their feet. The capsule cracked onto the dusty surface, and streaks of white and blue lightning spilled from the shell. The jagged lights flew to the feral creatures and crawled under their cloaks, into their armored skeletons. Their darkened, tech-fused bodies jerked and twitched as the light consumed them. When it expired, trails of smoke left their dried corpses.

“Keelah,” Tali gasped as she threw herself back up. “Please let that be it Please..”

“Uh… nice going, kid,” said Shepard, projecting his voice to the tower where the quarian still hung. “Are you okay? Can you get down from there?”

The quarian boy clenched against the tower bars, facing away. His back shivered as he forced his gasping into slow, eased breaths. With a hard swallow he turned his head. His eyes first caught Shepard, and the blood-tinted map of scars that framed his face. “Stay away!” he cried as panic crawled right back under his suit, before it had completely departed.

The commander’s mouth twitched in the quarian’s reaction, but he swallowed his anger. “I’m Commander Shepard of the Alliance!” he announced as he placed himself directly beneath the quarian. “We’ve come to eliminate the Cerberus threat! You’re safe, you can come down now!”

“How do I know YOU’RE not Cerberus?” the quarian boy’s squeals echoed through his helmet. “Soon as I come down, you’ll just kill me, and then take away the humans!”

Shepard watched the quarian climb further up the tower. His minimal reserves of patience were running dry. “First of all, Cerberus has a very strict uniform code, and white and gold are NOT my colors. Second of all—”

“Second of all, I’M a quarian, too, you bosh’tet!” yelled Tali with a stomped foot.

The boy quarian ceased his climb. “…Oh. Right.”

The machinist groaned. “Are you Neekos?”

The boy’s shoulder blades clenched together, like a child caught misbehaving. “…Maybe.”

“Your human friend is worried sick about you. She was heartbroken when she found out you left.”

“Aisha was worried about me?” His shoulders became relaxed. He ducked his head for a moment, remembering why he was up on that tower in the first place, then readjusted his grip to ease down the metal bars.

Shepard and his team walked under the satellite dish’s shadow to meet the quarian boy upon his descent. They watched while Neekos turned his head every so often to check his progress. Then, seeing the four directly underneath him, he pushed himself off the bars, flinging himself through the air.  Ashley instinctively opened her arms and caught him with a grunting, “Oomph!”

“Yay! You saved me!” Neekos cheered as he wrapped his arms around the soldier’s neck and pressed his visor against her face, as if to kiss her with the blinking button on his helmet. “Also, your hair is pretty.”

“Uh…” Ashley’s initial scoff turned to confusion, then to a satisfied smirk. “Well, thank you. Nice of you to notice.”

The commander was not so pleased to hear those words. “You little punk…”

“Shepard,” Liara interrupted, “come on, now. He’s just a child.”

Tali muttered a soft “Bosh’tet’,” under her breath before she continued. “Neekos, do you have any what’s going on here? What happened to those people?”

Neekos eased himself out of Ashley’s grip, grabbed his fallen weapon, and dusted himself off. Anxiety still stirred in his voice. “I was on a refugee ship going to Sanctuary. There were mostly humans, asari, some turians. Maybe a batarian or two. Oh, and Crux, he’s a krogan. He’s the one that got us all to a shuttle.”

“We’ve already had the pleasure,” noted Shepard.

“But I don’t remember seeing any other quarians on the ship. When we crashed here… it’s a dextro planet, and supplies were low. Then Cerberus came and… I had to do something. So I slipped away without notice. I thought I could sneak around Cerberus—I’m good at not being seen—and use the satellite to send a signal and… hope someone would notice it.”

“But what about those… those things? Where did they come from?”

“I was only trying to get past Cerberus, I had no idea there was… there was…”

“Tali,” said Liara in a soothing tone, placing her hand on the quarian boy’s shoulder, “I know this news is most unwelcome, and you want answers, but he’s a civilian. And if we hadn’t shown up…”

“It’s okay,” said Neekos, puffing out his chest, “I don’t know… what those things are or why they’re here, but…  I think I saw them coming out of a cave, just beyond the complex.”

“Thank you, Neekos. You’re very brave.”

“And just a little stupid,” teased Ashley.

“It’s more than we had a minute ago,” said Shepard as he looked out past the tower and the broken fence posts in the distance. But his eyes returned to the skinny quarian boy. “One of us should escort the kid back. Tali…?”

“No way!” she barked, “I have to know what Cerberus or the Reapers or whoever are doing to my people! I need to be there to end it!”

“Fair enough,” Shepard noted the way Neekos tried to keep composure next to the lieutenant commander, and sighed. “Ash, would you mind?”

“Me?” Her eyes popped, surprised, but conceded with a shrug. “Sure, commander. Stay out of trouble.”

“Of course… same goes to you, kid.”

“Who, me?” said Neekos, a sly twirl in his voice as he inched close to the soldier and the two walked the way they came.

Shepard did not wait for them to disappear in the distance before turning around and walking to the outskirts of the complex, grunting. “Maybe I don’t like kids that much, after all.”


	10. The Alpha

The Alpha

 

Shepard and his remaining two teammates found the cave with little difficulty; dried blood on rocks and scattered armor pieces sifting in sand provided an adequate trail for them to follow. They entered under the archway of dust-colored stone, into the maw of crumbled rocks and dusted air. Faded moonlight seeped through slits in the ceiling, exposing the particles that floated about, and the winding path of barren earth. His rifle in hand, the commander could only hear feet shuffling through dirt and sand.

His eyes poured against the earthen hallways, the pillars of stacked stone. Nothing appeared to be touched by the outside world; the prairie was tainted, but the inside of the cave was pristine. He saw Liara bite her lip, knowing she noticed the odd contrast, as well. Tali, however, kept upright and marched forward, shotgun ready. This had to be where the quarians were being taken and turned, and she was going to find—and destroy—whatever was causing it.

_It’s a finite area,_ Shepard thought. Knowing this time spent rescuing handfuls of refugees could be spent doing something more important still clawed at the back of his mind. _There had better be something at the end of this cave._

The three of them marched further inward; their steps scuffled in the mounds of dirt. As soon as single step fell out of sync, the commander was quick to notice.

“Did you hear something?” whispered the Shadow Broker.

“I think so,” peeped Tali.

“Ssh…” Shepard held his forearm out and paused. Bits of fallen earth fluttered onto his armor as he stood fast in his position. He slowed his breathing and waited for the disturbance to resurface. Whatever was there would slip up again, and he would root it out. His throat clenched together, eager for breath. Fingers curled, ready to fire. He surveyed his surroundings again, and again it appeared to be an unspoiled spot of land. He lifted one foot, crumbles of earth rustled with his movements.

As he pressed against the floor again, another shifting sound slipped out of sync. His sharp eyes found nothing, but his ears perked with the sound. He fired his rifle straight ahead, slugs streamed from the barrel like a streak of electricity. The ping of his ammunition against armor echoed the bitter desert air. A turian shaped creature, suited with metal and wires, yanked itself from the cover of shadows.

The Marauder lifted one hand as streams of bloody energy syphoned out of its metallic palm. The stream forked into several winding ribbons, plucking cloaked creatures from ever shadowy corner of the cave. Quarian bodies, suspended by machinery and fortified with bloody layers, arose from their shady rest. Tali and Liara glued themselves to Shepard’s side as blinking bulbous eyes surrounded them.

A pack of the quarian creatures lunged for the three like hungry attack dogs. Shepard caught them in midair with a raise of his omni-tool. A snap of lightning crunched down on their synthetic bodies. Their bodies jolted and fumbled on the earth.

Shepard barked, “Liara, stasis the Marauder!” She complied, and an orb of blue and white encompassed the turian creature’s body, freezing it in its combative stance. He focused aim at the frozen turian until the orb broke, and its body fell. “Push them back!” he ordered. Fire burst from each of his sides, Liara with her fluttering submachine gun, and Tali’s pounding shotgun slugs. Their shots pushed the cultivated quarians back, and their pained howls echoed through their helmets. The waves of fire flicked away some, but others lopped through it, slugs brushing against their shoulders and legs.

A broad shouldered, hulking creature galloped through the storm of bursting shells and hurled himself through the air, slamming Tali against the unforgiving cave ground. She shrieked as loose wires and a hanging, dripping jawline dangled over her visor. Hands that would feel similar to hers clutched at her arms like wild claws and pinned her down. A face of someone who could be a neighbor, or a brother, gazed upon her with cold, mechanical eyes.

The machinist squirmed under the pressure while Liara fenced away oncoming foes with her biotics. Tali’s shoulder blades dug into the earth, arms rendered useless. Her legs fidgeted in the dirt until she managed to ram a bent knee into the creature’s waist, knocking it off of her. As the creature curled to the side, Shepard bolted towards it, grabbed a strap of cloth still on the quarian creature, and chucked it clean over the asari’s head, through her biotic field, knocking down the pack like hooded bowling pins. With a gasp, Tali hopped back onto her feet, retrieved her shotgun, and blasted the creatures as Liara strung them up with her singularity. When the pack had been reduced to a smoking pile of wires, flesh and tattered cloaks, the engineer slapped her hands against her knees, desperate exhalations pouring from the filter on her helmet.

“Tali!” exclaimed Liara, “Are you all right?”

She eased into steady breaths before answering. “I’ll be fine. I just… need a second.”

“Shepard, was it like this on Belan? With the drell?”

“Pretty much, except a different backdrop.”

The asari made a quick scan of the cave, noting the silence. “Do you think that’s all of them, then?”

The commander rubbed his square jaw in contemplation. “Maybe, but there wasn’t just drell Reaper troops. There was the hybrid, the mixed drell and hanar. The drell seemed to be protecting her… it. Like it was their leader.”

“And where was it during the attack?”

“In a chamber pod. I think… I saw those barrier generators.”

“Is it possible the Reapers are keeping these new troops in abandoned places? Maybe… as some kind of training ground? Or are they… making them here?”

“The thing we fought on Belan was two of the refugees fused together, so they can be made here, and in a short amount of time. If there’s any Reaper tech, we’ll take care of it. Otherwise, we just need to clean house.”

“Agreed,” said Tali, throat cleared and composure restored. She did not wait for the others to continue into the caverns.

“Look, Tali,” said Shepard as he rushed to her side. “Whatever we might find at the end here… it’ll either be nothing at all… or something you won’t like.”

“I’m not looking for closure. That will come when the war is over. But maybe I can sleep for half a night knowing we took back every quarian they… tainted.”

“You’re not sleeping, Tali?” Liara asked softly.

“I have a hard time readjusting to the quiet. When all I have are my thoughts. They’re… seldom comforting. And my mind never shuts up.”

“Then let that voice be your driving force,” asserted Shepard. “We can all rest easy when this is over.”

“Okay, Shepard, I’ll try. And I hope you don’t think I’m being insensitive. This was just a handful of quarians. With all the Husks that we killed over the years, and with the Collector abductions and…”

“Come on, Tali. Do I look like the sensitive type?”

The quarian shrugged. “No, I guess not.”

“It was a shock, seeing Husks for the first time on Eden Prime. I sure as Hell wasn’t thinking about any race that might’ve been suffering more. I just keep going, working to put an end to it.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do.”

The three of them continued down the cavern as the path swerved through columns of stone. Their shoulders brushed against each other, the pillars grew closer together, until they were forced to form a single file. Tali insisted on taking point as the path narrowed. Her eyes scattered across the jagged ceiling like insects seeking shelter. Her hooded head rotated in every angle until she came to an obstruction. A long, protruding, bone-like splinter in the ground got caught between her toes, causing her to trip up. She recovered with a small hop. Shepard bent down and dusted away the thin layer of sand, revealing the cut veins and tendons of an arm, coated in hardened, blue blood.

“A… a turian… arm?” Liara queried, her words parted by disgusted pauses. 

Tali turned to push on, but her feet met with another block, then another. As the narrow path reopened into a wide, circular area, she found the floor laced with body parts. Plates ripped off and discarded, with bits of meat still clung to it. Inward bent, two toed legs burrowed into the earth. Ribcages snapped apart and thrown into the sand like a makeshift fence, a warning to keep intruders out. All framed by splatters of dark blue.

The sight caused Tali to fumble in her steps, a bitter chill clutching at her heart. But as the commander proceeded into the inner circle, she followed, hoping that watching him move without a flinch would help restore her own bravery. Further in, the haunting glow of barrier generators that jutted from the ceiling spilled over, casting purple light onto a single chamber pod.

Shepard knocked on the glass, eyes peering through plumes of fog encased within. His taps echoed, bounced off the cave’s walls. He wandered to the side, his hands searching for a button or lever. They found only creases in the metal bindings, so he wedged the tips of his fingers in between in an attempt to pry it open.

The machinist paced herself into a small rut in front of the pod, her fingers tapping on the body of her gun. She scanned the inner circle again, studying the detail of every torn limb, every pillar of stone, every generator. But no answers were to be found in their details. Liara was off to the side, shuddering; she wanted to help, but didn’t know how. As Shepard began gnashing his teeth in frustration, the two women exchanged puzzled glances.

The pod called for Tali’s attention again as a gentle thump beat against the surface. She looked around the cave again, fooling herself, for a moment, that the commander had made that strange sound. But his hands had left the pod’s surface to swipe sweat from off his brow. She drew closer, head cocked in confusion, but pulled in by the tumbles of fog underneath the glass. The engineer’s eyes squinted, searching the billows of fog underneath the covering. She placed her hand onto the glass casing, to keep leverage as she leaned in closer.

Another thump resounded as an opened palm banged against the glass from the other side, like a distorted reflection of her own hand. Three fingers unfurled across the surface, parallel to Tali’s, but they reached out longer; the hand was bigger than hers. Her heart palpitated, bones jittering, yet her feet would not take her away. The sight of the opened hand slowed time for the machinist, calling for her touch. Its movement kept her glued to the glass until Shepard yanked her away.

“Tali!” he hollered, his arm hooking around her shoulders, “Stay back! Something’s alive in there!” When he placed her back down on the ground, he and the asari held up their guns and pointed it to the pod. The creases became unhinged, fog spewing out from the opening.  

Tali darted back and forth, watching the hand waft through smoke, then the concentration plastered in Shepard’s scarred face. “Shepard, wait!” she cried, “I want… I need to be the one to do this.”

The commander nodded to the machinist, then to Liara, and they both lowered their weapons, though Shepard maintained a cold and readied stare. “Put him out of his misery.”

An armored, talon like foot emerged from out of the chamber. As billows of gray fog floated out of the pod door, Tali fixed her feet into the sand, the end of her shotgun barrel aligned with where she figured his chest would be. It would be the easiest way.

A second foot wobbled out. Then that same hand she found wafted through the screen of haze until it found its match. She waited for a thoughtless groan; some incoherent battle cry, filtered by the grinding of implants. Then she would meet his light bulb eyes and that would be the end of it. Instead she heard coughs and gasps. She readjusted her position. The commander took note of her quick shuffles in the earth, and raised his rifle again, in case she lost her nerve.

The curtains of fog broke apart in the dusty air. The end of Tali’s gun trembled as the figure, hunched from all the wheezing, fumbled in her direction. His spine wriggled as though readjusting to gravity. With a struggling groan, he lifted his hooded head. His face was framed with shards of blue tinted glass, the remnants of his visor, but largely exposed. White pupils scrambled in the new clarity, bouncing from Shepard’s armor, to the generators on the ceiling, until locking onto the quarian woman front and center, her shotgun falling from her hands.

Shepard lowered his gun and stepped closer. Based on the brief moment on Rannoch where he glanced at Tali’s unmasked face, this new face before him was similar. Vaguely human shaped—two eyes, a mouth, and a protruding, hooked nose—but of a firmer substance, somewhere between armor and skin, like softened copper. The skull was crowned with ridges and folds that reached over to his wide brow and clenched along his bony cheeks and down his neck.  

“Tal… Ta… Tali?” the quarian man said, his voice gripped with raspy fatigue.

Dumbfounded, Shepard and Liara stared at Tali, awaiting an answer. Her neck convulsed with heavy swallows, until a pained, “Reegar!?” jutted from her mouth.

“Reegar?” said Shepard, eyes wide. “…Kal’Reegar?”

The quarian man mustered the strength to tilt his head in Shepard’s direction and breathed a shambled, “Shep… ard?” before collapsing. Tali caught him, her arms wrung around his back, her head nestled between his neck and shoulder. Gentle sobs echoed from out of her helmet.

The commander swiped Tali’s fallen weapon, hooked it to her side for her, and threw one of Reegar’s arms over his shoulders.

“Shepard!” Tali cried, fingers still clinging to the quarian man’s dented armor.

“If you want to save him, we have to leave now,” he replied, wasting no time as he headed to the narrow cavern.

Tali and Liara filed behind him as he marched out the way he came, following the shifts of sand and shaking coughs. 


	11. The Lancer

The Lancer

 

Ashley trekked back across the dried, desolate complex. Even under the veil of dark purple evening, she could spot the silhouettes of buildings she had passed earlier. The young quarian, Neekos, followed her along the way, bouncing in his steps. Streams of starlight lined their path back as they walked along the cracks and chasms.

“So then, she asked me who would win in a fight, Reegar or Archangel. And I was all, ‘You can’t ask me that kind of question! Why don’t you just ask me if I’d rather have a million credits or be able to live without my suit’!”

“Uh huh, fascinating.”

“So then she was all—”

“You know, for a kid who almost got torn to shreds by Reaper made versions of his own people, you sure are chipper.”

“I know what I saw. But I’ve seen a few crazy things out there, and it’s still so small to what you’ve seen. And you’re fixing it. And you saved me, so that has to mean something. It’s worth being happy about.” Ashley gave out a small yip as he wrapped his skinny arms around her, just above the waist and squeezed. “Thank you for that, by the way!”

“All right, spaz,” she laughed as she gently pried him off her armor, “I know it’s hard, but you’re gonna have to stop finding excuses to touch me. We don’t want Aisha getting jealous now, do we?”

Neekos sighed. “That would go as well as my attempt to impress her by getting to the satellite and saving everyone, wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know about that,” she said with a smirk. “That grenade made pretty quick work of them. I mean, there might’ve been more of them, and they might have climbed that tower… but all things considered, you did pretty well. Funny how a pretty face can influence men to do noble, stupid things.”

“I just saw her, watching over the little kids. And Crux keeping Cerberus at bay. When we were on the ship, I was swiping anything I could get my hands on. I had to do something. Make it right. Then I figured, only something desperate, daring and crazy would do, something Archangel would do!”

“Yeah, you keep bringing this guy up… is he a character in a vid or something?”

Neekos gasped. “You don’t know? What kind of life are you living?” he scrambled through his pockets until he yanked out a small turian figure. “This is Archangel. He braved the deepest, grimiest pit of Omega and fought all the gangs that were fighting for control!”

“Did he rob from the rich, and give to the poor?” asked Ashley, amused with herself.

“Yes, exactly! He protected the poor, did what was right, even though the odds were against him!”

“Hmm, let me see that doll…”

“Why do cute human girls all think it’s a doll?”

The quarian boy placed the little plastic turian into the soldier’s hands; with care, as though it were a precious artifact. She cocked her head, knowing the look of its armor was vaguely familiar. When her eyes glazed over the yellow avian insignia, Garrus came into her mind, wearing that same armor. _He did say he met Shepard on Omega, didn’t he? …Please tell me he didn’t come up with that name._

“Well, I’m glad this guy inspired you to redeem yourself… eventually.”

“I kept that thing with me, to stay brave. I try not to steal, I really do. Even that figure, I… I may never be able to return it now. But it helped me, so that must mean something. Maybe someday I won’t need it, and I’ll be more like Archangel.”

“Huh, so maybe you’d be like the Robin to his Batman… no, wait. Does that work? Maybe if Shepard is Batman, Archangel is Nightwing, and that would make you Red Hood, I think… err, Blue Hood.”

“What’s a Bat… man?” 

“Oh, nothing, just… never mind.” She returned the figure to the boy, then summoned her omni-tool and spoke into it, “Hey Cortez, you still there?”

“I’m heading back groundside now, ma’am,” he replied, “we’ll be waiting on you and Shepard.”

“I’m on my way back with another refugee. Shepard and the others went to… follow a new lead, but I don’t think he’ll be much longer.”

“No problem, ma’am. I’ll be at the drop point.”

“Hey!” said an excited third voice, “Hey, Ash!”

Cortez groaned. “… And so will Mister Vega.”

Ashley shared in the shuttle pilot’s sentiment. “So everyone on the Normandy pretty much does whatever they want at this point, don’t they?” she asked.

“Says the marine who’s bangin’ her CO!” bellowed James in retaliation.

Ashley’s jaw dropped, her head flashed from her omni-tool to the quarian boy. She could see the faint, devilish grin expanding underneath his visor. She turned back and growled. “Seriously? Does everyone know about that?”

“You were tryin’ to hide it?”

“The two of us had been apart for so long, and there was a lot of tension and—hey wait, I don’t have to explain myself to you!”

“Sorry, ma’am,” added Cortez, “I, uh, was the one who found the picture. Things kind of snowballed from there.”

“Did Loco ever find that thing?” asked James.

“No, and it’s costing me money. I owe Tali two hundred credits!”

“Anyway, I thought up a new nickname for you, Ash! Better, way better! You ready for this?”

The lieutenant commander could not fight the urge to roll her eyes, even knowing it would go unnoticed. “Lay it on me, Lieutenant.”

“Esteban, drum roll, please! …What? Aww, you’re no fun… Fine, your new name is… Queen Bee!”

“…That’s… interesting.”

“Come on! That one’s perfect! ‘Cuz you sting!”

“Yeah, but I’m not queen of anything.”

“Sure you are! Queen of Loco’s—ow! Hey, don’t hit me, Esteban! Okay, okay, what about Honey Bee?”

“Too cutesy.”

“Aww man, you’re really making me work for it.”

“You’re getting there, Lieutenant. I’ll see you soon.” With that, she motioned off her omni-tool, and turned to the quarian boy. “You didn’t hear any of that, got me?” she told him. He giggled in response, and she moaned. “Ugh… well, I recognize that building. We’re almost there.”

Neekos followed the soldier’s lead as they continued across the sandy plain. He placed the Archangel figure in its proper pocket and tightened the seals, patting it just to confirm it was safe. A warm tingle surged throughout his skinny body. He happily followed the soldier along the prairie until a sharp whistling sound caused him to flinch.

A needle-like projectile skidded against the Ashley’s kinetic shielding, the contact causing a brief flash of visibility. “Get down!” she yelled, assault rifle tight in her grip. Neekos leapt to his feet and found a speck growing closer along the dark horizon, from out of the base camp. “I said get down!” she said as she walked towards the string of hollowed buildings.

A figure swerved from behind the fence to meet the soldier in between, its arm raised in defiance. As it stepped into starlight, reflecting off tarnished armor, Ashley gasped at its frame. Two toed feet marched towards her, with a long, wiry body buckled with tubes, and an exposed metal ribcage. Gears and pumps coursed through each of its arms. A helm of bony mandibles and crests crowned its ridged head, remnants of an intricately patterned hood flapped from underneath. Silver armor was slapped onto it like a disfigured, fallen knight.

When light bulb eyes fixed onto the soldier, its march became an enraged gallop. The way the creature fumbled between military march and bestial chase dusted off old memories of Saren in Ashley’s mind. The animalistic cling to life, the shift from rogue Spectre to Reaper thrall. _The strengths of both, the weaknesses of neither._

Ashley slung a concussive shot at the armored creature, shattering one of its shoulder plates. It wobbled, but kept running. So she fired a rapid rain of exploding shells, like fiery nails that shattered his visor and shred through its tattered cloak. But it was still running. _Well, it worked once before._ As the creature leapt into the air, claws outstretched in her direction, Ashley raised her rifle. Wind whistled between its cylinders as the barrel swung in the air and met the face of the creature, thwacking it across the field like a softball.

“Is it dead?” said Neekos as he unearthed himself from a nearby trench. The creature flew through the air, but with a rough roll, it slid across the earth, back on its feet. It released a gargled howl, the mandibles and wires that hung around its mouth flaring. The quarian boy watched as soldier continued fire. The creature hopped away from her range untouched and shot a blast of metal shards from his gauntlet. Neekos ducked back into the trench, lank body shaking.

Ashley rolled to the side, the shards pinning every spot she had stepped on, splitting the earth. On one knee, she lifted her rifle and sent a row of slugs chasing after the creature. It dashed away from her fire and shot another ring of shards. The soldier, knowing she did not have enough time to get back on her feet, tucked and rolled again. One piece of metal crashed against the surface of her armlet, branding it with little white cracks.

When she recovered, the creature lunged towards her. It closed in, a jagged cut of silver metal popped from his wrist like a switchblade. She threw her rifle over her face and pushed it against the force of the creature. Her arms shook as she overcame the weight of his bayonet-like arm, allowing her legs to rise back up. The creature hopped back, his arm shifting, claws retracting, making way for a small canon that emerged from its palm.

“What the Hell is this thing?” Ashley grunted as she resumed fire. The creature stood against the storm of slugs as his canon gathered force. Her fire pinged against his armor, shattered his bone helm. As it stood, a ball of energy welled up in his barrel. It raised its hand, so the barrel was parallel to her face. Seeing it collect fire, Ashley sprinted from the creature’s range, her gun still spitting slugs. It let out an angry, warbling growl as it attempted to adjust aim.

The quarian boy heard the blasts and clangs of metal against his fevered whimpers. Every time a little courage seeped back into his reserves, a dangerously close shot would whiz by the earth that roofed his head. Shaking, he poked his head out of of the trench like a turtle popping out of his shell. He watched as the creature, frustrated at its misfire, lunged at the soldier and swung his blade with feral anger. He found himself reaching for the pistol, the one he took from Crux. _No, I can’t! She told me to stay down!_ Trembling fingers treaded over the pouch, lumpy with the contents. The Archangel figure. _But… I can’t do nothing!_

Neekos clenched a fist, as if it would somehow keep his courage from leaking out, and whipped out his pistol with the other hand. He peered over the trench, seeing the creature’s back against him as he threw bullets in a wide arc like a living Gatling gun. The pistol’s laser pointer danced along the back of the creature’s leg. _Be brave!_ His finger found the trigger and, in a moment of steadiness, pressed against it. The slug banged against the creature’s anklet. Its hooded head turned, causing Neekos to give out a shrill, “Eep!” as he ducked back under the trench. _It saw me, it saw me. Oh, Keelah, it saw me! Why didn’t I listen? Why don’t I ever—_

The boy’s panic was interrupted by the thundering discharge of ammunition, then a sudden thump.He reared his head back out again, and found the creature, face buried in sand. As the soldiers holstered her weapon, he leapt from his hiding place, the bounce returned to his step.

“I told you to stay down,” she said sternly as she watched him approach her. “You gave me an opening, but still. I was wearing him down. Man, I must not be good with kids. They never listen to—hey!”

Ashley’s eyes popped as she found Neekos wrung around her waist again. “Thank you,” he said, looking up at her. “Do they make action figures of you?”

The soldier smiled down at the boy, but her face switched back to worry as a shaking wheeze rattled from the creature’s body. She held out her forearm in front of the boy, signaling him to stay put as she approached the fizzling, armor plated body. She grabbed it by the shambled shoulder plate and flung the body over. A dark grayish face appeared, almost like a human man’s, but more narrow, with ridges along its skull. Its helm in pieces, the lights that made its eyes fried, thin lips quivered as they spat out,

“Tha… ank you… stopping me,” Ashley shuddered, the thickness of the creature’s accent was unmistakably quarian.

“You’re still… in there?” she asked it, pressing his back up with her hand, cradling it, knowing there was still a remnant of a person seeping from its tainted mortal chamber. “What happened to you? How did the Reapers do this to you?”

“Ple… save… Reegar.”

“Reegar? Is that your leader? Where is he?”

Neekos perked up. “…Did he just say Reegar?”

“Ixan?” The soldier and boy both turned against the sound of a new voice. Ashley sighed in cautious relief as Shepard, Liara, and Tali walked towards her, but the sight of a limping body, in tarnished red armor, hanging off the commander’s arm caused her to choke on it.

The creature, awareness leaving his body, coughed, “Is tha… t?”

“Ixan, it’s me,” said the limping man, pooling all his strength to hobble over to his body. Ashley saw a face that looked like it was carved from copper peer out of a torn hood and a broken visor. The face snarled at the sight of the tech and turian meshed, gnarled body. “Shit, what did they do to you?” The creature only wheezed in response, hands raised upward, as if reaching for the moon. The hooded man shook his head. “Damn it all. Someone lend me a pistol or something.”

“H-h-here…” said Neekos, voice and body trembling as he held out his pistol with two opened palms like a pedestal.

“Thanks, kid.” The quarian boy gave a pained whimper in response while the man fixed the pistol’s barrel underneath the creature’s jaw. “Goodbye, Teo’Ixan vas Lellar. Keelah se’lai.”

The slug burst through Ixan’s skull. Reegar lowered his corpse onto the earth, then his body hunched over with dry gasps.

“Kal!” Tali cried as she rushed over to him. “Come on! You won’t last much longer out here.”

Reegar coughed as Shepard hooked his arm back over. “Damn it. I don’t… mean to sound ungrateful, Shepard, but you… your timing could be better.”

The commander gave a worried frown. “Trust me, I know.”

“You keep saving me, and I… I’ll start owing you.”

“That’s okay,” he replied as he trudged across the field, the others following, “you can just transfer your debts from me to Tali.”

“Tali…” the Reegar knocked his head back and gazed at the machinist, her hands gripping his arm. With fading strength, he grinned. “Damn, you’re a sight.” She let out a gentle laugh, broken up by little fits of sobbing. As the group watched the shuttle swoop across the surface, sand spattering against the blue paint, the quarian marine looked back at Shepard. “Unlike you, Shepard… your face… it looks like crap.”

The commander chuckled while he threw him into the shuttle. “I knew I liked you, Reegar.”


	12. Do It For Her

Do It for Her

 

“I can’t believe how stupid you are!” yelled the young woman in the pink headdress. The volume of her shout caused the Normandy crew to look away. Some of them snickered, seeing the quarian she was yelling at. “How could you go off on your own like that?”

“I’m sorry!” squeaked the quarian, “I just wanted to help! How was I to know they’d send Commander Shepard to rescue us?”

“Oh, you’re in for it now, boy!” Crux the krogan sat by the mess hall table, roaring with laughter as if the display were a show made for him. “Somebody get me a drink!”

“Be that as it may,” she snapped, “it was a reckless, stupid, and crazy thing to do!”

“I know. That’s… that’s why I did it!”

“Neekos’Parha, what is the matter with you?”

“After everything that happened, and with all the good you and Crux did, I figured only something completely crazy would make up for all that I did! I had to try, you all deserved to get off that planet, and be safe! And if it meant I got hurt… or whatever, then it’d be worth it!”

“Neekos…” the girl in pink sighed, her scowl melted with his words. But with a shake of her head, she raised her opened palm and slapped it against his visor. The hard smack of skin against metal caused her hand to coil back in pain. “Ow, that was so stupid! Why did I do that?”

“See? You’re no better! You’re as crazy and stupid as I am!” she gave him a fiery glare, and he squealed. “Er, no, I didn’t mean that!”

“It is NOT the same thing,” she said, massaging her hand with the other. She gave the lanky quarian a fiery grimace, but again it withdrew at the sight of him, his fingers kneading the air. “But I guess… you wanted to make up for all the stealing and help the kids. That should count for something, I guess, so…”

Ashley had been watching from a distant corner, trying to contain the growing smirk as the teenagers argued. When the girl in pink planted a kiss on the quarian’s visor, causing him to squeak a victorious, “Yes!” she giggled.

“Ah, kids,” she said to herself, “they’re so cute and stupid.”

“Come on, now, this way,” Ashley turned and found Tali lugging Kal’Reegar by the arm; Shepard, Liara, and Doctor Chakwas not far behind her.

“I’m better now, Tali,” he said, trying to stand on his own. His visor had been replaced and suit patched up, but he still coughed and wheezed between words. “You have… enough to worry about.”

“Enough to worry about? Kal, I thought you were dead! Then we find you in the middle of nowhere and… those other marines were turned to… there were… and YOU were…!”

“Reegar,” interrupted Shepard, “there were turian parts everywhere. That soldier we found, he looked like he’d been fused with some of it. I think they were going to do the same to you. If we had shown up a minute later, who knows.”

“I know,” said the quarian marine, “and I’m grateful. The last thing I remember was being on Palaven when a bunch of those turian things swarmed us. I got no problem giving my life so this war can end, but to be turned into one of them is…”

“Is just insulting?”

Reegar chuckled. “Exactly. So thanks for saving my sorry ass before that happened.” He then spotted Ashley leaning against the wall. “And thank you, ma’am, for taking down Ixan before he hurt anyone. He was a good soldier.”

“I’m sure he was,” she said with a respectful smile and nod. “It was the very least I could do. You know, Tali’s spoken VERY highly of you.”

“Oh, has she now?” said Reegar as he turned to Tali. Ashley could swear she saw a glimmer of blush underneath her purple visor.

“Yeah. You against a whole squadron of geth with just a rocket launcher? Didn’t think quarians even had that kind of… guts.”

The quarian marine laughed. “You’d be surprised, ma’am.”

“Yeah, I would.” The soldier smirked as Tali handed Reegar over the doctor and escorted him to the med bay, studying the way his body—broad by quarian standards—shifted. When he was out of the hall, she gave Tali a playful nudge on her arm. “Hey! Not so sorry, if you ask me.”

The machinist shook her head and hands about. “I, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Aww, come on, Tali. No need to be embarrassed. It’s me! I’d say he’s got an eight-point-eight! Good job!” Ashley looked around and saw wide, vacant faces on her. Even some nearby crew hands began to stare. She shrugged it off. “What?  A nice ass is a nice ass. I don’t discriminate. I don’t know where you people are getting the idea I’m some human supremacist, but it’s got to stop.”

“Hey, Ash,” Shepard chimed in, “is mine still a nine?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Skipper,” she answered playfully, making a squeezing motion with both hands, “it’s been a while. I’ll have to reevaluate.”

“You know, Tali,” Liara said in a singsong tone, “I just realized. Despite all the hysteria, you recognized Reegar by his face right away. Doesn’t that mean…”

“Hey, yeah!” snickered Ashley. “Doesn’t it?”

Tali slapped both her hands against her helmet. “Oh, Keelah, please someone just throw me out the airlock…”


	13. The Defender

 

The Defender

 

_Commander!_

_Thanks for helping me out on the crash site. I probably would’ve been able to take down Cerberus myself, but you know how krogan fight. Tend to cause “collateral damage” as some squishier species might call it. And I couldn’t let them get those kids. They got their whole lives to live._

_How long do humans, quarians, and turians live anyway? It’s about the same for them, isn’t it? Eighty years, I think? I might have another century or two, but it’s time I can waste. Already wasted a lot of it. You need to make use of every damn minute you got. You better be using them. Don’t let Cerberus or the Reapers take it from you._

_I’m still looking out for the kids. Gonna keep them safe until the war ends, then worry about finding their families. They think I’m invincible, and I’m going to let them keep thinking that._

_Olyndik Crux_

_Oh, and I ate most of the ham you had in reserves. Did you a favor, it tasted fake._

 

Tali’s nimble feet tapped along the Presidium walkway, her hands clutched on her rapidly beating heart. Her eyes danced about the intricate mazes of precision-cut bushes and trees, skimmed along the sparkling surfaces of the triple-purified lakes and against the pale blue archway. Yet with all the artificial instillers of peace, cloaked in quite, the quarian fidgeted as she walked. She felt bumps forming along her skin and brushing against the fibers laced underneath her suit.

“It’s going to be fine,” stated Shepard. Tali turned to her side and found him just as he was the last time she looked; eyes blocked with black trimmed sunglasses, his face in his data-pad as he marched along the white paved road next to her. “He’s going to be fine. Reegar is resilient. For a quarian, anyway.”

“Oh, you’re a funny guy,” she snapped, “and anyway, that’s not what I’m worried about. Not… exactly.”

“Ah,” said Shepard. His focus did not leave his pad, but a smirk crossed along his stony face. “You’re just anxious to see him again.”

“M-maybe,” she squeaked, fingers fiddling against each other. “The Admiralty Board is going to want him back, once they get my report. I can only imagine how they’ll react to the rest of what I have to say. This may be the last time I see him… for a while. Last time either of us, any of us, get a moment before…”

“I wish it weren’t this way. What he’s been through… I sure as Hell wouldn’t be eager to get back on my feet. But we need every able bodied person.”

The young Admiral sighed, “Maybe I’ll get lucky and the war will be over by the time he recovers and everything.”

“We need some time to stock up, anyway, so just make good use of it. And maybe, if he’s still here, we’ll have time to visit after Thessia.” The commander saw the hospital draw closer from the ends of his data-pad, causing him to lower it.

The quarian cocked her head, trying to catch a glimpse of the commander’s work. She grumbled as he tilted it out of her reach. “Hey! What are you doing, anyway?”

“I’m trying to find alternate safe havens for refugees. The Citadel’s huge, but supplies aren’t keeping up like I thought they would. And overcrowding causes a safety hazard for people already here. And I… I’m just getting this horrible feeling. Like it’s just never enough. Like I can’t lay down all my cards here anymore.”

“Maybe I can convince the other Admirals to allow refugees on Rannoch. They’d have to be mostly dextro ones, but…”

“Anything would help, Tali. Thank you.”

The two approached the hospital entrance and walked through the sterile white waiting room. They navigated around Avina’s pedestal and followed neon arrows to an elevator. Tali turned her head back and forth, bouncing by the balls of her feet, as the platform took them down, fingers fidgeting. She glanced at the commander, eyes blocked by the thickness of his glasses. She watched him smile; he was comfortable with the silence. When they reached the bottom floor, a curtain of decontaminating fog showered upon them. Shepard walked out, through the spotless white wing, face parallel to the scrolling words on his data-pad.    

“It was just a few weeks ago,” said Tali, eager to break the silence as they approached the destination, “you were coming up here to visit someone you love, right?”

The commander froze in his steps, lowered his pad again and turned to Tali. “Am I really that transparent?”

“Please, Shepard. Based on what everyone told me, it’s like you wanted people to know. The way your face lit up when Ash sent you a message saying she could get visitors. The way you stomped around after Mars. Liara painted a particularly vivid picture.”

“To be fair, I stomp all the time.”

“Well, sure. But you stomp a lot less when she’s around.”

“I guess I do. Nothing like dying, almost dying and coming back from dying to bring people together. Puts things in perspective.”

“Maybe this isn’t the most appropriate comparison, but when my mother passed away, my father buried himself in his work. Reminded me of the way you were when we were still with Cerberus. It was all he did. I remember trying anything just to get his attention. One time, I even hid myself in the vents so he HAD to come get me. I was so young when it happened, I didn’t realize why he was acting that way. I get it now, but it’s still a little frightening.”

“There’s probably a lesson to be learned from that. But that’s why we’re here. Just trying to  have a moment.” As they stopped in the hallway, Shepard noticed the quarian begin to giggle at his somber tone, and a thick brow raised from over the frame of his glasses. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Oh, I was just thinking what a big softie you’ve turned into.”

“What?” he choked with fake insult, “We will never speak of this again!”

Her soft laughs spiked into a twisting, teasing song, “Softeee!”

“Yeah, well, I think this is it,” he said as he traced the digital numbers on a panel next to one of the doors. He waved his hand over the door’s light, the opening revealed a quarian man, facing out the window.

“Hello, Shepard,” he said, giving each guest a respectful nod, “ma’am.”

“Ah,” pouted Tali, hands on her hips as she entered the room, “you must be feeling better, Kal, if you’re calling me that again.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” Reegar chuckled as he got off the bed, “I’ve been trying to work on it.”

Tali shook her head in disapproval. “You put me through a lot, you know. I didn’t even have time to mourn you, then we find you in some abandoned turian base and… they were going to… and when your hand touched the glass, I nearly jumped out of my suit! And then I almost shot you!”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. The whole thing is still kind of a blur. I know I’ve never made this easy for you. The two of us… just been one mess after another, huh?”

“Part of me must love the challenge,” she said with a shrug, “we both know how badly it can go. For either of us. But we always still try.”

“You’ve always been worth it, Tali,” the quarian marine said softly as he clutched her arms. “I was ready to die to help get rid of these Reaper bastards, but the last thought I had on Palaven was you. I fight for the fleet and… for Rannoch now, that’s going to take some getting used to. But I can do my damnedest to live through it for you.”

“Given that you needed rescue, Kal, you’re going to have to try a little harder. You can’t put me through that again, and that’s an order.”

He laughed. “Yes, ma’am. Sorry to keep putting you through this.”   

“Well,” she cooed, slipping her hands on top of his shoulders, “maybe you can make it up to me.”

“Do you… have anything in mind?” he mirrored her movements, palms navigating around her hips.

“Oh, I have a few ideas.”

“Well, my fever’s mostly gone, and we ARE already in a hospital…”

“Do you kids want some alone tine?” interrupted Shepard, leaning against the doorway.

For a brief moment, Tali had forgotten the commander went with her. She saw his knowing smirk and shook her head, embarrassed. “Shepard, please…”

“Right. I understand we’re sharing Rannoch with the geth now,” said Reegar. “That’s going to take some adjusting. My family’s made a career out of fighting them for generations.”

“There’s always something new to fight,” Shepard said with a shrug, “but if you’re looking for a new venue, I imagine Rannoch will be in need of some house builders.”

“That’s a pretty big jump, Shepard,” he lowered his gaze to Tali; she geared her feet upwards so the ends of their helmets came together and made a soft clink on contact, “but maybe it’s something worth looking into.”

She threw her arms around his shoulders. He crossed his arms over her back and rocked her frame gently.

The commander smiled, the bags of his eyes crinkled. “I’ll see you on the Normandy, Tali,” and did not wait for a response before heading out. His shaded eyes were about to fall back onto his pad before they found Garrus walking towards him.

“Shepard,” he said with fluttering mandibles, “sounds like you guys had a rough mission.”

“That’s a bit of a redundancy, but yeah,” Shepard looked back at Reegar’s room door. The rooms in that particular wing had white walls, not see-through ones, and for that he was grateful on Tali’s behalf. She had lost time to make up for. “It was rough on Tali especially, but she handled it pretty well. She’s done a lot of growing up since I rescued her from Fist in the Wards. I’m proud of her.”

The turian laughed. “As I recall, she contributed to that fight. And are you planning on telling her that?”

“Hey, hey, she’s a big girl, now. She doesn’t need me to help her feel good. She’s got someone for that, now.”

“Uh huh.”

“Garrus, if you’re that desperate for an ego boost, then I’ll just say it. I’m proud of you, too. You’ve been making a lot of tough calls and handling the responsibility well.”

“Well, aren’t you just the team dad.”      

Shepard leaned against the white wall, arms folded, a wistful grin chiseled onto his hardened face.  He looked up at the ceiling and laughed. “You know, the galaxy is… gonna be a little empty once this is over. Might be nice to bring some happiness into it, for once.”

“Wow. Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel, defender of the galaxy, settling down and raising a family. Didn’t see that one coming.”

“Hey, believe it or not, I don’t enjoy throwing myself at explosions and almost getting killed on a regular basis.” He took noticed of Garrus’s shifting brow plates. “Okay, maybe I do a little. But I’m getting older, Garrus. Getting tired. And saving the galaxy from a hoard of hyper intelligent calamari bent on total annihilation is hard to top. Might be a good high note to go out on.”   

“And I’m sure you’ve got a list of… prospects.”

“Watch it now, Garrus. It’s not like that.”

“Don’t worry, Shepard, I know. But Ash doesn’t strike me as the kind to ever stop working. To stop… ‘resting on laurels’, I think is how it goes.”

“I know, and it’s her call. Hell, maybe she’ll stay with the Alliance, and I’ll retire, maybe get a civilian job and… look after the new girly hoard.”

“At the very least, I’m sure you can convince her to adopt a baby krogan or two.”

Shepard laughed again, running his free hand along his slick black hair, specked with silver strands. He pointed to the quarian’s room with his thumb. “Yeah, yeah. Then if those two get real serious, my girly krogan hoard and Wrex’s regular krogan hoard can meet up with Jacob and his kid, and we’ll go visit their bubble babies together. Then Grunt can babysit while we go to a bar. And Liara… is she still with that sarcastic drell? I kinda liked him.”

“Feron? I didn’t even think… I was beginning to think she had a… growing fascination with Javik.”

“What? No, that could never work… could it?”

“No idea.”

“And what about you? It’ll be great, we’ll arrange play dates and make a club. I’ll even make t-shirts.”

“I don’t know about that, Shepard. I’m not really the sort.”

The commander gave his turian friend a quick jab in the arm. “Or maybe your skills are a little rusty.”

“Shepard, please. What do you know about turian women?”

“I always figured they were a lot like Ash, actually. Maybe a little softer. So no worries, Vakarian. When this is all over, we’ll head on down to the turian barracks, or wherever it is turians congregate, and for once, I’ll be YOUR wingman.”

“Wingman?” a silvery voice chimed in like an afternoon bell, disrupting the chatter of the boys. Garrus and Shepard both turned to see Ashley stroll towards them, arms folded. “Do I even want to know the context?”

“Not to worry,” said Garrus a sly tone smoothed over the flanging of his voice, “just discussing some possible career paths to take once the war is over.”

“Sure,” said the soldier as she rolled her eyes, then looked at Garrus. “So are we doing this, or what?”

“Right. I saw Shepard and almost forgot.”

“Forgot about what?” asked Shepard.

“Sniping contest.  Ash and I were going to… clear the air with some friendly competition.”

“I figure, it couldn’t hurt to take him down a peg,” said Ash, “since the so-called King of Bottle Shooting seems to forget he’s not the only long range expert.”

“Expert? As I recall, you preferred to be proficient in all weaponry, a master of none. A ‘Jill of All Trades’, humans would say.”

“I swear your head was not this far up your bony ass when we were fighting Saren.”

“I don’t know what that means, but not to worry. You can always go back to shotguns when you lose. It’ll be like having a krogan in the group again.”

The lieutenant commander walked up to Garrus so there was a hair’s space between them, stood on her toes and gave him a fiery glare, waving a finger in his face. “I’ll have you know I’ve received extensive sniper rifle training, and I don’t know how you turians or C-Sec grunts do things, but we marines take it very seriously.”

Garrus countered by cranking his neck down, trying to push down Ashley’s proud stature with his own dirty stare. “Then I look forward to putting your fancy Alliance training to shame with my superior reach.”

“Whoah,” interjected Shepard, “mind yourself, Garrus. I remember what happened the last time you ‘cleared the air’ with a teammate.”

Garrus backed down and resumed a relaxed pose, laughing. “Don’t worry, Shepard. I’ll keep my eyes on the target.”

“Think you can resist his charms for that long, Ash?”

“Ha! He wishes.” The soldier relaxed, and she looked around the hospital wing. “Hey, before we go, where’s Tali? Isn’t she visiting her man here?”

“Why, yes she is,” the turian said, his thumb pointing out the correct door. “She just walked in. We were all about to check on them. Why don’t you go in first?”

Ashley slanted her brow at the turian’s sly flare, but shrugged and walked in his given direction. She reached the door, and turned to note that Garrus and Shepard had only taken a few steps along with her. Again, she shrugged, and waved her hand over the door light.

The light dispersed, the twin doors slid open, and the anti-germ mist thinned out. Ashley’s heart drummed in its chambers, her face enflamed at what she saw. Across the bed, she found a strange looking woman, who appeared to be made of some ridged, bone white plating. In that first instant, the sight of such unusual looking bodies, she figured she had opened the wrong door. But once smaller features settled into her mind—the indented slope of the petite nose, the shape of the white eyes that rolled back, the width of the hips, from which distinctively purple swirled cloths hung from—it snapped in the soldier’s mind who she was.

The strange woman’s suit was half peeled off, her slender upper body rubbed against an equally foreign looking man. His back faced the door, her arms hung over his broad shoulders. Her knees were on each side of his waist, and his copper colored head was buried in her chest, hands clawed into her hips. Ashley’s eyes wandered down and saw red colored clothing scrunched around his hips, and his identity entered her brain.

Tali’s eyes were rolling around, delighted mewls dripping from her mouth. When her gaze wandered over to the opened door, her body tensed, teeth clenched. “Bosh’tet!” she yelped. Reegar turned his head, but he just laughed, seeing the soldier’s composure in shambles.

“Ah, sorry!” Ashley yelled, going back in the direction she came. She stomped over to a laughing Garrus and swung a tight fist at his arm. “You son of a bitch!” The turian only answered with heavier laughs. Shepard turned away, snickering, but Ashley pointed him out, “And you! You just let it happen!”

“I wasn’t sure what he was doing,” he answered, his voice cracked from all the laughter. It was a lot for someone like him. “And when I figured it out, it was too late.”

“Oh, sure. Well, joke’s on you, because it was a learning experience. I’ve never seen an unmasked quarian before. And if that’s what all their men look like, then… well, damn. I think I found the ladies’ answer to asari.”

“Is that a fact?” Shepard purred.

“Hey, I never said that guy I dated was human, did I?”

“Oh, that hurts. You know what jealousy does to me, Ash.”

Ashley’s face cracked. She put her hands on her hips and waggled her waist in a teasing sway. “You don’t have to worry, Skipper. I’m just trying to get a rise out of you.”

“You don’t have to try that hard. You just need to work the right angles.”

Garrus stepped back. “If you two want me to leave, just say so.”

“Not so fast, wise guy,” said Ashley, “I need to take a rain check on our little match.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because,” she said in a matter-of-fact way, turning towards the elevator and making a wave motion, “I WAS going to set up a meeting between Mister Reegar with his biggest fan, but since he’s… busy, he’s going to have to settle for…” Ashley pulled from the corner a tall, skinny quarian boy, in a suit of black and dark blue. She held out her hand towards Garrus as if to present him as a gift, “Archangel!”

“What? How did you—?”

“Oh, Keelah! Oh, wow!” the boy exclaimed. “You can’t tell, but I’m gasping right now! Is it you? Really, truly, you?”

“Well, I don’t—”

“That’s him all right, kiddo,” Ashley answered for Garrus, beaming with satisfaction, “I would know. We fought bad guys together a whole bunch of times. I was just pretending not to know before, because he has a secret identity, so you can’t tell anyone.”

“That’s right,” added Shepard, “I helped him fight bad guys on Omega. He’s the real deal, kid.”

“I promise I won’t tell!” Neekos clamored, bouncing all around Garrus as he strung along question after question. Shepard distinguished, “How many merc gangs did you destroy? Did you ever shoot a guy through another guy? Do you have some kind of apprenticeship program? Do you keep your visor on all the time, even when you sleep and stuff?” before they started to meld together. 

“Well then,” Ashley cooed, “looks like I’m free.”

Shepard smirked. “As am I.” 

The commander could make out the turian mouth out, “Traitor,” as he and Ashley walked out of the hospital, laughing.

“Man,” Shepard said as they walked along the nearby bridge, shaking off any shreds of guilt for abandoning his turian partner, “how come you and Garrus get cute kids for fans, and I get a middle aged man with a shrine?”

“…What?”

“Never mind. Let me take you out.”

“Do we have that kind of time?”

“Well, Garrus and Tali sure aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. And I have a feeling things are going to get worse before they get much better. So for once, I’m seizing the opportunity.”

Shepard hooked his arm around Ashley’s waist, and she responded by nestling her head against his shoulder. He titled his head down, catching the spice of her hair before kissing her head, causing her to giggle. They walked through the pristine streets, comfortable in the silence, the whizzing of cars in the air only reaching them as gentle hums.

When they reached a courtyard, encircled by sparkling fountains, Shepard took Ashley by the hand and led her to a free table.

“This looks pretty ritzy,” she said as she sat down, “even by Presidium standards. I’m not really dressed for this.”

“You look great,” he said as he sat down in the chair across from hers, “you always do.”

“Oh yeah? Even when I’m in bloody armor?”

“Especially when you’re in bloody armor!”

Ashley laughed so hard she had to slap the table to relieve her aches. “You are SO bad at being romantic, Bastian.”

“Do I get points for trying?”

“Of course,” she said as she waved over a waiter to hand them menus. “Do you remember, after we took care of Saren, you would cook for me on dates?”

“I do,” he said with a smirk, “just one of my many talents.”

“It was definitely more appealing than anything here… I mean, crap, I’ve got no problem with a little cultural mixing, but does EVERYTHING have to have ‘an asari twist’ to it? Maybe I’ll just get a burger.”

“As I recall, your favorite was the filet mignon, with the bacon around it. And dulce de leche pudding for dessert.”

Ashley snorted. “What can I say? I have a big sweet tooth.”

Shepard chuckled, the lines of stress that framed his mouth accenting the width of his grin. His gaze never strayed from her. “I haven’t had time to cook in the longest time. Might be a little rusty. Seems so long ago, when we had that little window of time between defeating Saren and my… dying.”

“Yeah, guess things really do get worse before they get better. But it has to end eventually.”

“And when it does, things are going to be different. We’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for, and I’m going to treat you like a queen.”

“Shepard, please,” she said as she turned her head away, “maybe you’re not as bad at this after all. And hey, take those off already, would you?”

“What?” he said playfully as Ashley yanked off his sunglasses. His eyes squinted, adjusting to the unfiltered sunlight. His irises were a light brown, with a faint ring of red coursing around the pupils. “And here I thought the bad boy look drove you crazy.”

“Come on, Skipper. Nobody’s going to chase you down with torches and pitchforks. They’re not even that noticeable.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. You know, I don’t think that girl from the last mission was staring at you because of the scars. They’re already starting to fade.”

“Really?” he said as he ran a finger against the shallow dents on cheeks.

“Really. I think she was staring at you because you’re handsome. She was totally blushing when you said you’d find her friend.”

“Well, she reminded me of someone, truth told.” As he spoke, Shepard folded his hands and his eyes became clouded. “A neighbor girl from the colony I grew up on. I don’t even remember her name, but I had a crush on her for the longest time. Then, one day, my brother stole her from me.”

“You don’t talk about your family much. You’re the youngest of three, right?”

“Right. Adrian was the oldest. On the quiet side, super responsible. Salvatore was the heartbreaker. Always knew just what to say. I saw the girl on his arm and knew I waited too long to make a move. But I never made that mistake again.”

“No, you certainly didn’t,” she said, her grin expanding. “So, then, what kind of brother were you?”

“The smart one, of course. When the circuit boards were shot, or the equipment VI was malfunctioning, they came to me. And while the other two helped my dad work on the fields, I was reading. I loved reading old sci-fi, seeing what people way back when thought about the future, and life out there. Council races might piss me off a lot, but at least they’re not making humans mate and destroying the universe by accident like the aliens from ‘Slaughterhouse-Five’. At least not yet.”

“If you don’t mind my saying Bas,” Ashley said playfully, “that doesn’t sound like the makings of a marine; that sounds like the makings of a big nerd.”

Shepard shook his head, laughing. “Believe me, I know. The thought of joining the Alliance had never occurred to me. Salvatore was actually the one looking to the military for a career. We all insisted he didn’t have the discipline, said it was just some new stunt to impress girls. But he said he wanted to do something that mattered, make a difference. I wanted to be a teacher.”

“Wow! That’s… adorable, really.”

“You think so?”

“You could still do it. Maybe when this is all over, you can help young biotics in Grissom or something.”

An image of a violent, angry former team member flashed in Shepard’s mind, and he shuddered. “Maybe… something in the arts would suit me better. What about you? Is your family adjusting?”

“They don’t really like the Citadel, or even having to stay in one place, but they’re all right. Sarah’s doing okay, all things considered. I mean, she knew right off the bat what the risks were, but they didn’t even tear the cans and the ‘just married’ sign off their car before Thomas was killed in action. I sent them a message the other day, just to check in. Abby, Lynn, and Mom still worry, but Sar insists she’s fine. Told me to be extra careful out there.”

“I’m sorry, Ash. I wish I could give you more time. You haven’t even seen your other sisters or your mom since this began, have you?”

“I’ve gone longer without so much as an email. But it’s okay. If nothing else, it makes you appreciate what little time you do spend with the people you love.”    

 “Yeah, it does.” Shepard clutched Ashley’s hands, paying no mind to the waiter that passed to them dishes of food. “You know, I haven’t even thought about this sort of thing in the longest time. Haven’t allowed myself to think about my family. Every year, more stuff piles on top of it. Their faces get a little blurrier.”

“I don’t think that’s healthy, Bas,” she reached for his hands again, this time entangling her fingers into his. “You should never forget who you are. Your family might not be with you in a physical sense, but they’re a part of you. Every little thing that’s happened to you has shaped what you are now. What the galaxy needs. And I happen to like it, for what it’s worth.”

Shepard leaned over the table and ran his fingers through her hair. He uttered a soft, “It’s worth more than you realize,” before bringing his mouth to hers. 

 


	14. The Chimera

 The Chimera

 

_Dear Commander Shepard,_

_I’m sure you don’t remember me. I was that older girl in pink, one of the refugees you saved from Cerberus. I’m pretty sure Crux (now he’s hard to forget!) has already sent you a message, but I wouldn’t be comfortable not thanking you myself. So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for rescuing us. I don’t know what they would have done to these poor kids, and I’m sure I don’t want to know, but you stopped them, and we will never forget you for it._

_Seems like an eternity ago, my father wanted to move to the Citadel and open up a garage there. I hated the very idea! I knew there was more out there, but I was comfortable on Earth. Now my home’s been taken, and I may never get to go back. There is a silver lining though; I’ve met some wonderful people and found bravery in myself that I never knew I had. It’s like a small scale for everything that’s happened, in a way; it took something so devastating and awful for us all to work together and reach our potential. I know it doesn’t make things better or easier, but perhaps we can take some small comfort knowing we will all be better people when peace returns._

_We’ll be staying as far from dark space as possible. When this is over, I hope to reunite these kids with their families. After all, if you and Lieutenant Commander Williams can beat the Reapers, then I can do my part, however small it may be! And when I find my dad, I’ll convince him to give Neekos a job at our new garage. He’s still pretty set on being a vigilante, but even heroes have day jobs, right? And maybe when it’s all done, you and the Lieutenant Commander can visit us, maybe give us signed pictures! Pretty please?_

_Oh! And Gregory, Raj, Maxinne, Leah, Deneb and Lykus all say thank you and good luck!_

_Aisha Abdul Latif_

The shuttle swept across the murky surface like a dead leaf dwindling to the ground. It settled onto a clearing of bare but muddy earth. The commander’s boots slapped against the muck as he launched himself out, followed by Ashley, then Garrus, and then James. The four of them marched through thickets of wild grass that sprouted from hills of debris. Over mounds of mud that smothered every bit of ground that they touched. Silhouettes of broken buildings hung in the distance like ink blots on a grey canvas. The air wafted over them like a blanket of sweat and filth.

“We’re in salarian space, right?” asked James, the dreary backdrop doing little against his sunny disposition. “Does that mean will find Reaperized salarians?”

“God, I hope not,” said Ashley, “those quarian things were bad enough.”

“Salarians would make a bit more sense, though, wouldn’t they?” said Garrus. “There’s a lot more of them, and the Reapers are at their throats.  If we don’t… that is, hypothetically, if we lose this war, they would definitely be next.”

James scoffed, rocking back and forth in his clunky armor. “Too bad that ain’t enough for them to give us more support.”

“Well, we did kind of undo their biggest contribution to the galaxy in recent history.”

“You mean their biggest mistake.”

“Soldiers,” said Shepard, the firmness of his voice causing Garrus and James to straighten their spines. “Focus here. Reaper troopers are a possibility, but the mission is getting rid of Cerberus.”

“And where are they supposed to be, Loco?”

The three halted as their commander froze, mud still oozing from the cracks of their soles. He inclined his head about. “Did anyone else hear that?” he asked.

“Hear what?”

Shepard let out a quick sigh, “Nothing. Let’s keep going.”

James allowed Shepard to step ahead before saying to Ashley, “Hey, I got another one. Loco’s face is still pretty banged up. How about I change his name to Beast, so you can be Beauty?”  Ashley only responded with a cold grimace. “Okay, okay, back to the drawing board.”

“Do I… even want to know?” asked Garrus.

“Long story,” said Ashley as she followed Shepard through the muck, the other two trailing behind.

The road of darkened slush and dampened weeds sprawled out before them as they continued to march. The land was flat and mushy, like a tar pit that spat out twisted tendrils. Silhouettes of buildings closed in on them, their rounded features poking out of the haze. A single shot zipped through the muggy air, and the four glued themselves to the side of the nearest building.

Shepard clicked on his armor, gripped his rifle, and carefully inched his head over the wall. A lone Assault Trooper stood amidst a ring of fallen comrades. His feet planted in the mud, he whipped his gun in every direction, looking for a target. Shepard’s hands began to glow with biotic power, when another swift shot zipped through the mist and through the white Cerberus helmet.

“Impressive,” said Garrus in a low rumble.

“Garrus, find the sniper,” said Shepard.

“You got it.” His visor flashing little white numbers, the turian shifted along the winding walls, inching further past the teeth of broken posts, and into the maw of empty buildings and shards of metal. “He’s close,” he uttered through the comm system for his human teammates to hear.

“Hey, didn’t this sniper snipe Cerberus for us?” asked James. “So isn’t he one of us?”

“Assume hostile, Vega,” the commander said sternly, “we’ll see if Garrus can identify him as a friendly.” Shepard and his two other squad mates kept along the building, knees bent as they proceeded down its battered foundation. His fingers tapped along his ear, waiting for an answer to pass through.

“Shepard,” Garrus’s voiced popped in, “I’ve got him. It’s a salarian. Either he doesn’t realize his cloaking is down, or he didn’t bother with Cerberus.”

“Isn’t it possible he’s one of the refugees?” asked Ashley. “It’s weird, we haven’t seen anyone.”

“Garrus,” ordered Shepard, “warning concussive shot. Give him a chance to surrender.”

“Wait!” boomed a deep, hoarse voice. The three humans reared their heads over the building to find a batarian man running into the ruins of town square, his arms waving in the air. “Don’t shoot them!”

Garrus, his scope aligned with the other sniper’s head. He watched as the other spotted him with a single twitched eye and hopped out from his hiding place like a startled frog. The turian lowered his rifle and walked back the way he came, into an open area of broken concrete, lined with curling grass. His squad mates and a batarian were waiting for him. “All right, what’s going on?” he asked once he arrived.

“You’re a refugee, I assume,” Shepard said to the batarian.

“…Yes,” he replied, his four eyes looking up and down at the commander. He took note of the icy, glazed stare the human gave him, and he stepped back. “Tarhish Sal’derah… I… I know you.”

Shepard scowled, the strained lines of his skin accented by the stitches of cybernetics. “Most people do.  All batarians do.”

The batarian withdrew. “… I was tending to the sick when the ship was attacked by Reapers. Our shuttle managed to get to a mass relay, but Cerberus was… waiting for us.”

“And the others?”

“Already taken care of!” said another voice, much higher and thinner. The five turned as an armored salarian, with greenish markings running along his face like arrows, walked towards them, a sniper rifle in hand. He emerged from the shadows with a childlike grin.

“And you are…?”

“Oh, oh right! Introductions come first. I knew that!” the salarian lunged for Shepard, grabbed his hand and shook it with an unwelcome energy. “Allow myself to introduce… myself! Paskal Dendroba, Special Tactics and Reconnaissance!” The commander was deathly silent. “Oh… did I shake the wrong hand?”

Tarhish groaned. “He doesn’t believe you’re a Spectre, Paskal. Or he can’t. Whichever.”

“Ah, I get it. They never do. And they don’t give special badges and we don’t have time for me to call Councilor Esheel. I try to make it work to my advantage. Nobody on the ship believed me, so I tried to get information about Sanctuary. Didn’t find much, but it still seems shady.”

“Huh,” said Garrus, amused, “I almost shot a Spectre.”

Paskal’s neck snapped in the turian’s direction. “You mean with that concussive round, with that projection? You would have just grazed me if I didn’t see you.”

Garrus could see Ashley and James bite down the urge to laugh. He shrugged. “I said almost, didn’t I?”

“Whatever the case… Spectre Dendroba,” said Shepard, maintaining his cold, humorless tone, “I need to know what the situation is here. We’re here to secure the refugees and eliminate Cerberus.”

“Well,” Paskal chirped, “I did most of that first thing for you, and all of that second thing. I’ve scoured the whole area, and my scans don’t pick up anymore Cerberus troops. As for the refugees, I was able to contact salarian government agents and they escorted them off world. Only two casualties.”

“And by ‘most of that first thing’… you mean this guy?” he pointed his gaze back at the batarian. Tarhish took another step back and shrugged.

“Right, right. Mister Sel’derah here insisted on staying with me.”

“…And you just let a civilian tag along with you?”

“Hey! I was just made a Spectre a few months ago. My persuasion levels are still low!”

“I’m a combat medic,” Tarhish inserted, “and the Spectre here sustained an injury.”

“I got pushed off a cliff!”

“… As I was saying… two people already died under my watch. I can be of more use here.”

“Well, shit,” cracked James, “what are we even doing here? Mission’s already over!”

“No,” said the salarian with a shiver, “no, no, I took care of the easy stuff for you. It wasn’t even me that killed all these Cerberus troops.”

“I think I can take a guess,” added Ashley.

The commander maintained his stony, displeased grimace. “If the refugees have been brought to safety and Cerberus has been eliminated, then yes, the mission IS over. Looks like the Alliance dropped the ball on this one. Even if there are Reaper troops out there, it doesn’t make any difference. I’ve got actual Reapers to kill.” With a quick motion of his hand, he began walking out the way he came, his three teammates following. “Be more timely with your reports, Spectre Dendroba.”

Paskal and Tarhish exchanged shocked looks. The salarian Spectre jogged towards the group as they left. “W-wait!”

Shepard froze in his stern march, but not from the salarian’s plea. Bits of metal bounced along his feet, the streets reverberated underneath their blankets of mud. He lifted his head, and watched as the broken buildings shuddered around him. A thunderous rumble cut through the gentle sound of sliding droplets. His teammates fought to keep their footing. Another pound against the earth resounds in the distance, the force a little stronger, just a little closer than the one before it. The power caused Paskal to topple over.

“What the shit was that?” said James.

“I tried to tell you!” cried Paskal as Tarhish lifted him up. “It’s not a regular Reaper creation! It can’t be!”

The ground beneath them quaked again. The batarian had to hold onto the salarian to keep him from falling over a second time. The more decayed buildings collapsed around them, their rotted contents spilled out onto the town square.

Shepard turned around and through the town square, against the unseen, hammering force. His eyes drifted through the bog and ruin, but they found nothing. He summoned a faint glow of blue light from underneath his skin.

His teammates mimicked his actions, fanning outward in an arcing formation. James found himself wandering between emptied buildings; made of rounded layers, and bathed in moss. He swatted away the swarms of tiny insects that flooded around his helmet until the end of his foot ran out of earth to walk upon.

“Whoa!” he yelled, teetering himself backward. He looked down, over his bulky chest plate, to watch a single pebble plummet down a muddy cliff. He listened for the plink of a rock against grimy water, but what reached him was more battering sound, as if it smacked against a boulder. “That’s weird… nothing down there but swamp and more swamp…”

He squinted his eyes, looking down at the valley of inky rivers and matted bushes. Finding nothing, he began to walk back. He took a single step when the earth throbbed under his boots, the force of it gripping his ankles and shaking them. He wobbled his arms just to keep balance. Just as he found composure, he heard a wet slap behind him. He turned his head and found a three fingered hand reaching over the cliff, where his foot was. It smacked against the muck, like it was looking for something to grab onto.

“Is that… crap, I think it is. Another refugee. Hey!” he said as he ran back over, gripping the hand. “Hey there, little guy. It’s okay, I gotcha.” The hand squeezed back with violent fervor, cracking the lieutenant’s knuckles. “Ow! Hey, careful!”

James wormed his fingers out of the strange hand’s grasp, and pedaled backwards as a skinny arm revealed itself. Then came a hollowed, salarian head, with scalped out eyes, and a mouth spewing with wires.

“Oh, fuck me…” said James in a gasp as a gaunt salarian body wriggled into view. It ended with a chopped torso. It released a nasal wail as it was risen up by the support of a mound of hardened black flesh, barbed with bones and armored plates. Another set of artificial eyes gazed at James, framed by a krogan shaped skull. A sinewy set of arms, strapped with throbbing veins, smacked against the cliff as they hoisted the body upward. Its muscles and joints seemed to be jammed together with some foreign, gunky matter, as though scraps were added to the mix to make it bigger. James’s jaw dropped as he bathed in the colossal shadow.  “… Fuck me sideways.”

He whipped out his assault rifle and his arms jutted with heavy fire. They pinged against the encasement of hardened skin and plating. The creature snarled in its annoyance; two voices joined together, rider and its mount. Spotting the soldier underneath its girth, it swiped against him with one throbbing claw.

“Shit!” he yelled as he tumbled out of the way and ran back into the ruin. “Commaaander!” he shouted into his omni-tool, “We got a proooooblem!”

James sprinted across the yard of crumbled buildings, the clamoring of the beast behind him. When he reached the town square, it was already upon him, galloping on his arms and a set of smaller, twisted hind legs. He rolled to the side, underneath the cracked foundation of a small house, as the salarian rider yelped and flailed its limbs, as if giving the krogan part directions. The krogan raised its arm and walloped against the ground, earth splitting and buildings falling in its wake. The krogan head batted about, and when it found nothing, the salarian croaked with anger. With a snort, it thrashed about the ruined town, uprooting entire buildings.

“Shit,” mumbled James, his armor bathed in mud.

“Vega!” Ashley’s voice came from behind. He turned and saw her crouching in the mud and wood.  

“Ash! Where’s Shepard?”

“We got separated! That thing is tearing the place apart!”

“Well, we gotta regroup! One gun’s not cutting it!”

“Vega,” Shepard’s voice came from James’s omni-tool. “Come in, Vega.”

“Shepard! Do you see this thing?”

“Kind of hard to miss. What’s your position?”

“I’m back where we met that Spectre! Ash is with me.”

“Good. Garrus isn’t far from you, and Dendroba is with him. Ash, I want the three of you to get to high ground and start a crossfire.”

“You got it, Commander,” Ashley complied.

“Hey! What about me?” said James.

“You’re going to give Ash cover until she finds a place to fire. Then, you and I are going to distract it, maybe wear down its armor and make it easier for the snipers to take him down. If we kill the head, maybe the body will follow.”

“Sure, commander, we just—” James was interrupted by the sound of creaking hooks, of unhinging panels. He and Ashley looked up as the roof of their cover was lifted from their heads, the shadows of safety diminished. The krogan mount roared at them, the salarian rider pointing at their heads.

The two human soldiers scrambled to their feet, mud and metal splashing at their feet as the krogan creature mashed a fist into the earth.

“Go, damn it, go!” shouted James. When the thumps of angry feet got fainter, he stopped to turn back and fired as many round as he could before the creature got too close again. “Shit!” he said as the creature readied itself for another sprint.

“James!” Garrus shouted across the mud covered wreckage, the salarian Spectre running beside him, both taking intervals to shoot rapid fire at the creature. “You know the plan, right?”

“Yeah, the three of you gotta take out that salarian… part… thing! Just keep going!”

“Assuming this thing gives us the time and space to line up shots!”

“You let me and Shepard take care of it! He knows what he’s doing… I think!”    


	15. All My Sins Remembered

All My Sins Remembered

 

“Damn it,” Shepard said through gnashed teeth as hurled himself out of another muddy gash. The salarian-krogan hybrid was thrashing about in the distance, like a demon tearing itself from the bowels of Hell to wreak havoc on the world of the living. The commander’s heart thumped as he pushed himself further across the rotted town path, when he heard a soft thump behind him. He groaned, knowing what it was.

_I just had to get stuck with the batarian, didn’t I? It’s not enough that I’m saving the universe, I have to learn to love everyone, too, is that it?_

“Ugh,” Tarhish moaned, all fours drenched in a puddle of mud.

“Why don’t you just stay here?” he barked.

“No, I… I have to help,” he said as he wobbled to his feet and then patted his legs until he found his gun. “I can do it.”

“Fine,” he said as he resumed running.

Shepard ran through the ruined town, arms flowing with light. When he reached the wide shadow of the hybrid creature, he flung a warp field at its lumbering shoulder plate. It shuddered, as if the biotics were a mere annoyance, and continued tossing roofs and digging through the muck with claws, scavenging for pests.

With a growl, he wielded his pistol and fired into its back. The slugs bounced off the plates that were jammed along its spine. The salarian rider glanced at the commander, responding to his attacks with a thin snarl before turning back.

“Underestimating me,” said Shepard, marching up the creature, biotics lights flaring like the fires of a neutron star, “is the biggest mistake you’ll ever make!”

He tossed another disc of power at the creature, and another. They seared against the creature’s skin like the heat of a brandishing iron. With the flick of a third, the creature could no longer sustain such pain unanswered, and it folded both its claws together to hammer out the commander.

Shepard stood in the growing shadow as he pushed a wave of energy from his opened palm. The force he emitted, which would have crashed upon normal foes like a tidal wave, brushed against the creature like a gentle shove. But it was enough to buy a little time. He continued blasting single shells from his pistol while the hybrid beast staggered.

When he saw a spray of slugs fire alongside his own, he could not help grumble. The beast recovered, the salarian mount practically grinning at the prospect of killing two vermin instead of just one. The krogan’s hands clenched together again dropped down. Shepard was ready to evade, but the batarian was still firing.

“Move it!” the commander roared as he pushed Tarhish by the shoulder, then rolled out of the shadow’s growing path. The krogan’s hand bashed into the earth like a fallen comet. Shepard and the medic were sent flying from the collision.

“Shepard!” Garrus shouted from across the mucky graveyard of salarian architecture. “Are you all right?”

“Fine!” he answered as he stood, picking up Tarhish by his collar. “Just keep going!”

“We got separated from Ash and Vega! I can’t get it off me!”

“You and Dendroba fall back! I’ll hold it off!”

“But Shepard!”

“Just do what I say!”

The turian rebel and salarian Spectre continued rapid fire as they pedaled backwards, watching Shepard as he distracted the beast with pistol shots and biotic flickers.

“To the left!” said Paskal, “You can get to higher ground and get a clean shot there!”

“I didn’t want to impose,” said Garrus with a halfhearted laugh. “Bit of a kill-shot hog.”

“You seem like the kind of guy who works better under pressure! Now’s your chance to redeem yourself!”

“My shot wasn’t even that sloppy! I was just—forget it, I’m going!”

Garrus rushed over to a tall observatory, its foundation sunken into the earth, and perched himself on the rounded roof. His talon like feet slipped on the smooth surface as he struggled to keep place, but from there he could clearly see the salarian rider, ordering death from atop its unholy mount.

Across the yard of ruin, Ashley sprinted around crumbled houses that drifted in a sea of mud. James’s shouts, “Go, just go! I’ll cover you!” rang in her ears as she ran.

Her eyes scattered every which way, water dripping along her visor. Grime collected over her armor, and the thick gush of mud slowed her step. When a narrow building, tall like a needle jutting from the earth, arrived in her sights, she gave out a thrilled, “Yes!” and pushed herself to go faster, fire in her step.

The ground still shivered with every thrash of the beast. As she threw herself into the building, one of its attacks reverberated with a force that knocked her to the wall. But she launched herself off, and dashed up the spiral stairs. She readied her sniper rifle, the enclosing walls shaking against her, the gargling roars and screeches piling on top of her.

She launched herself onto the roof and ran to the edge. She watched the beast try to swat away streams of biotic power as she readied her post. _Skipper’s doing his part. Time to do mine._

On the other side of her extended scope, the lieutenant commander could see every stitch that tethered the salarian to its krogan mount. Every cord that spewed from out its mouth. Every bit of scarred, dented, torn—and unarmored—flesh.

She lined the shot. The beast had its head turned away from her, so by the time it heard the zip across the haze, the right lump protrusion on the salarian’s head was already oozing with green blood. It shrieked, limbs flailing about. The krogan mount responded with a wide sweep of his claws, batting away Garrus from his perch.

“Come on!” she said in her hurried reloading. “Die when I kill you!”

The salarian torso turned, only to be met with a slug in its eye. As blood and screams gushed from the scrawny body, Ashley heard the echo of a jovial, “Woohoo! Way to go, Hawkeye!”

Ashley’s smug grin was ripped from her face as she saw the beast’s body gyrate, krogan arms trembling, until it fell over and crashed into the earth, taking the surrounding buildings with it. She peered through her scope and saw Shepard’s body fall into the opening gash.

Shepard’s body banged against a sunken plank of wood. With frantic breaths, his fingers scratched and clawed for something to grip as he slid further downward into the opened wound in the earth. They found a dangling pipeline and hooked onto it as the hulking body of the hybrid beat plunged into the abyss.

A mix of nasal and throaty cries spiraled as the beast plummeted. Its limbs swatted at the rocks and panels that joined its descent. Darkness enveloped its massive body.

Across the field and inside the gash, the commander looked up to find another body clinging to a dwindling branch. With the snap of bark, the batarian fell into the gash. Shepard flung out one hand and grabbed him by the wrist, the added weight causing the pipe to strain, dipping them further into the hole.

“I’ve got you!” said Shepard, trying his best to be kind.

“N… no,” muttered Tarhish. His head was knocked down, facing the darkness.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I know you.”

Shepard snarled. “Damn it, if this is about the relay… I know what I did. I tried to warn your people, but there was nothing I could do! If I didn’t destroy it, every race might have already been wiped out!”

“No,” he said again. “Mindoir.”

“Damn it…” grunted Shepard as his grip on the pipe began to falter, his legs dangled helplessly.

“I was there. You were part of that family that held us off while other colonists tried to flee. I killed your parents. I killed your brothers. I was going to kill you. I remember your face. That look of defiance. A building collapsed and you were gone. I thought that killed you…”

Blood pumped through Shepard’s veins like rivers of bubbling magma. He gnashed his teeth; he would love the pleasure, the luxury, of being mad at the batarian. But there were bigger things than anger, greater than revenge. “But you’re a medic now,” he said, “you were helping the refugees.”

“Somewhere along the line, killing lost its spark. Everything I did was empty. Your face haunted me. So I changed. I tried to spend my life compensating for all the lives I’ve taken from this world.” Tarhish looked up at Shepard. The commander’s eyes widened when they met his; his darkened, hollowed eyes. He could see the life leaking from out of them. “But you never really forgive yourself.”

Tarhish raised his gun, pointed it between Shepard’s eyes. The commander let go before it was ever fired. Shepard heard no cries from the batarian as the darkness took his body. Only the shouts of his teammates on the surface.               


	16. In Memoriam

In Memoriam

_Greetings, fellow Spectre!_

_That was quite the venture on Dagnes. Unfortunate that it didn’t yield any new information on Cerberus or the Reapers, but at least the galaxy is rid of one more monster. Plus, a rookie got to watch the pro in action! That has to count for something right? I think it does, so I don’t really know why I’m asking. Not like you’re going to respond._

_Also sad that Tarhish died trying to help us take that thing down. Grumpy as he was, he wanted to be a light for others in a dark time. A lot of the refugees on that ship were in bad shape before they got on, and he kept me alive, so I’d like to think he did just that._

_I’d like to continue my investigation of Sanctuary. The whole operation still seems sketchy to me. But I got word from Spectre Jondum Bau a few days ago about assisting the humans take back Earth, and that’s a bigger deal than my hunches._

_I really need to check my alerts more often._

_Paskal Dendroba, ST &R_

“You guys should have seen it!” James exclaimed, hands slapped against the mess hall table. “That salarian-krogan thing must’ve been five hundred yards away, at least! And she shot it right in its fuckin’ eye!”

“All in a day’s work,” said Ashley, leaning back in her chair with a smug grin.

“It was a decent shot,” said Garrus, less impressed, “got the job done anyway.”

“Aww, come on, Scars!” said James. “It was a muscly rampaging monster, and she took it down with a single shot!”

“Two shots, if I remember correctly.”

“Two more shots than you made,” countered Ashley.

Tali broke into laughter. “Ha! If only I could have been there,” she said as she pointed at the turian, “just to have seen your face when someone else got your precious kill-shot!”

“I’d have done it if the thing didn’t knock me over!”

“Sure. Mmmhmm. Okay, I believe you.”

“Garrus,” said Liara, “we’re a team, remember? You could stand to be a little more supportive. Especially since that fight the two of you had in the med bay.” The asari carefully watched as Garrus and Ashley exchanged awkward, unsure glances, and she scuffled in her seat. “You two got along so well when we were after Saren, and we need to work together if we’re ever going to beat the Reapers. Surely we are better than to have this animosity among us.”

The turian tapped his fingers on the table before looking at the soldier again. He shook his head until a weak chuckle came out. “It was a lot like old times, wasn’t it?” he said.

“In a way,” said Ashley, “they don’t make geth that big or that ugly, though.”

“I’m sorry, Ash. You’re as trustworthy as you are dependable, I know that. We’re lucky to have you back.”

“Hey, I… did jump down your throat first.”

“Well, considering what we’re up against, the things I was so mad about just a few months ago seem petty.”

“I know the feeling,” Ashley looked around, observed the faces of her teammates sitting around her. Their smiles were weak, anxiety of the war hanging over them. She took a breath and gave a warm smile. “Ring out false pride in place and blood, the civic slander and the spite; ring in the love of truth and right, ring in the common love of good. Ring out old shapes of foul disease; ring out the narrowing lust of gold; ring out the thousand wars of old, ring in the thousand years of peace.”

“Huh,” said Garrus, “never been much for fancy words… and trust me, you do NOT want to hear turian poetry, but that… I like that.”

“So what do you say? Bygones?”

“Absolutely. And that was a great shot, by the way.”

“Well then,” said Ashley as she stood up, the smugness returning to her face, “now that all that ugliness is taken care of, I’m going to celebrate my perfect kill-shot.”

“Yeah, you go, Hawkeye!” James clamored as the lieutenant commander began rotating her hips and slid her shoulders up and down like a teeter-totter. As she added more fervor in her swings and sways, he got up and joined her with vigorous gyrations and playful pumping of his fists.

At one point, Javik entered the mess hall, saw the two marines dancing, and u-turned as quickly as he came, muttering a grumbled, “Primitives”.   

“Please… please stop dancing,” groaned Garrus as he kept his eyes on the mess table, “I swear, you and Shepard were made for each other.”

Shepard stepped out of the med bay, eyes on his data-pad, as his fellow marines ceased their prideful display. When he looked up from the digital words, James had flown back to his seat and Ashley was at his side. He cocked his head in confusion. “Did I… miss something?”

“Oh no,” said Ashley, “just a little catch-up.”

“You know, you’re off duty. It’s really okay.”

“Okay is not the word I’d use,” said Garrus, feigning an illness.

“Oh hush, you,” said Ashley. “So, Shepard, what did Chakwas say?”

“My scars are definitely healing, but it’s still going to be a while before they’re completely gone.”

“They look a lot better,” she said as she gently ran the back of her hand against the sharp surface of his cheekbones and down the smoothing out cheeks.

“You… think so?” said Shepard, not entirely convinced.

“Definitely. Hey, don’t be in too much of a rush to get better,” she said with a light giggle. “If your face gets all cleaned up by the time you kick the Reapers’ asses, I’ll have to start beating girls off of you with a stick.”

“Yeah, Loco,” added James, “let me have some of that attention. Don’t be so selfish!”

“I don’t know,” said Shepard with a smirk, “I kind of like watching you hit things, Ash.”

She gave him a playful shove in the arm. “Hey, were you working during your checkup?”

“I was just going over my report to Hackett. Technically the mission was a success, since we disrupted Cerberus on all the planets they showed up on. But those Reaper troops we found…”

“It’s disturbing stuff,” said Garrus, “they completely blindsided Cerberus, so those creatures must have been there for some time.”

“Those labs we found… they were like nests,” added Liara, “planted in these abandoned and evacuated worlds, waiting for… stray victims.”

“Then we just gotta beat the Reapers, right?” said James. “We’re gonna do that anyway.”

“And we rescued all those refugees,” added Ashley, her hand on the commander’s shoulder, “Cerberus didn’t get anyone, and we stalled the Reapers from taking more species. That’s something.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” the commander said with a shrug. He looked upon his squad and gave them a weary smile. Clustered in the mess hall, they could all clearly see the bags under his eyes, the wrinkles on his brow, and the silver strings in his hair. The cybernetic scars were but remnants of what they once were; they were scratches peppered along his face, with only a faint orange glow. “As you were, everyone,” he said with a nod as his gaze returned to his data-pad.

As he stepped out of the hall, he was comforted by the chatter behind him, the return happy conversation circulating behind him. “I didn’t think her dancing was that bad,” he stopped to hear Tali’s voice say, “not nearly as bad as Shepard’s.”

“At least it wasn’t as painful as that last message you got from Reegar,” teased Garrus.

“What!? How did you—”

“Ahem, ‘Tali, you know I’ve never been good with words, but damn if I don’t already miss you. We both have our duties, but if there had been a way to make you stay with me longer, I would’ve’ …”

“You give it to me! Give it!”

“Wait, let me skip to the part about that house on the homeworld…”

“Give it back right now or I’ll snap off your pointy scalp things and jam them into your eyes!”

“Not until you tell me where the picture is! I’m not giving you any more money!”

“Keep away?” James asked playfully.

Tali was not amused. “So help me, if you do…!”  

Shepard chuckled as their voices became fainter. It was not until he had his back against the moving elevator chamber that he realized Ashley was beside him.

“Hey, didn’t see you there,” he said, “so, what floor?”

“We’re going to your cabin,” she replied, “I have something to show you.”

“Oh? So then you haven’t… thought about my offer.”

“I have,” she said as the elevator stopped, “but you need to see this first.”

Shepard’s cabin doors barely parted when the lieutenant commander began removing her gloves, then peeling off her suit by the collar. The sight of her skin caused the commander to flinch, but before he could react further, she pulled off her undershirt. The removal of white fibers revealed a long trail of toned and tawny skin, little dents and cuts marking the way. When the shirt hit the floor, Ashley lifted up her hair, just long enough for Shepard to see all of the reddened webbing of skin that spiked along one shoulder to the base of her neck, like a wide, winding vein.

Shepard swallowed his worried breath. “That’s… not from Mars, is it?”

“No,” she answered plainly.

“Oh, Ash…” he said as he walked to her side, “what happened?”

“Harpoon rounds.”

“Those ammo mods are illegal in Citadel and Alliance Space. Even most merc gangs don’t dare to use them. You were… fighting pirates?”

“A couple raiders skirting the Attican Traverse. I led a small squad and we took them down easy enough, but they had some pretty nasty tricks up their sleeves. This was a few weeks before the Reapers came to Earth. Udina was already throwing around the idea of making me a Spectre, but I didn’t think anything of it until this mission. It was a do-nothing mission, but I thought… maybe this was it. Maybe I just needed one more success under my belt to prove myself to the Council, and I’d be a Spectre, too.”

“You didn’t really trust Udina, though, did you?”

“I didn’t really trust any of them. Maybe he just used me to make it look like the Alliance was actually preparing for something. Maybe the other councilors liked the idea of another human to take the heat off them for the inevitable shit-storm they never prepared for. I don’t know. I just know… it all boils down to politics.”

“I think we both share the same sentiment on that.”

“Yeah, I think we do. For a little while, I just fooled myself into thinking it was all just. That the circumstances didn’t matter, I was going to use the opportunity. But after everything that happened, it feels hollow.”

“I don’t think it matters, Ash. However it happened, you are a terrific marine and Spectre. You don’t need those fancy titles to prove your worth, but you deserve any recognition you get, and then some.”

“Ah, Shepard,” she sighed, shaking her head, “flattery will get you everywhere.”  

“Ash,” Shepard folded his arms around her, hands on her bare midriff. He nestled his nose between her shoulder and neck, pressing his lips against the burn. “I mean it.”

“Shepard, please!” giggled Ashley, unable to maintain a serious composure with the tingle of his mouth against her skin. “You can’t kiss it and make it better.”

“Couldn’t hurt, could it?”

“Heh, no, I guess not. I was gonna show you before, but… well, I just wanted you to know. You’re not alone, Bastian. You’re not the only one with scars.”

“I know,” he said, fastening his grip on her, “and thank you. It means a lot that you’d tell me about this. This war, this… everything. It’s been hard enough on all of us.”

“And it’s not going to get any easier.”

“I know.”

Ashley nudged her head towards the couch in the corner of the room before walking there herself, removing the rest of her clothing along the way. Shepard let his jacket slip off his shoulders and join her suit on the floor as he followed her. She planted herself in the corner cushion, and he placed his hands over the top of the couch, his back arcing as he swooped in for her. Her fingers combed through his hair as their lips clasp together, short breaths escaping between the small openings. She tugged at his shirt, urging him to sit next to her. He obliged without a word, throwing away his garment so his chest could press against hers, their dents and scars linked together.

“I love you,” he said, “you know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” she said, her voice as gentle as the brush of her fingertips against his face, “but you could stand to say it more often.”

“Then I will. You’re the only one who makes me remember I’m still a person. Everyone always wants something from Commander Shepard, the soldier. If not for you, I might have already forgotten…”

“That you’re also Bastian. The farmboy who was as handy with a wrench as he was with a baking spoon. Who fought and laughed with his brothers and read Kurt Vonnegut before bed. Who had big dreams and a loving family that were taken from him. Who has worked so hard, for so long, and is very tired.”         

Shepard responded by leaning into her, resting in the warm embrace of her body. She placed her chin over his head, gently stroking his hair.

“Bas,” she said, “the universe needs Commander Shepard, the soldier—the hero—for a little while longer. After that, you can just be you.”

“What about now?” he said softly, his hot breath against her neck, “I know I should… probably get back to it.”

“You’ve done more than enough today. We have just a little bit longer to go, but you have to be at your best. Just rest for now, Bastian. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Bastian’s eyes became heavy, his aching form melting into hers. “Just a little while longer…”                  


End file.
